Get something down..Sh*t or H*t

I’ve been bummed out for three days. I keep going onto my wordpress site and wondering what the hell to write about. This conjures up negative and totally unhelpful thoughts about my ability to be creative.What is that quote ‘Your thoughts manifest your reality’ or something like that. I guess I can see a whole lot of truth in that. So what has being going on with moi?

I spent a bittersweet day with my three uncles who swept in from France and Miami , my cuz , my Nan to celebrate my Gran’s 81st birthday. I was blown away by how on form she was. She toasted my mind when she looked at my Nan’s (Dad’s side)  handbag and uttered these words ‘tres jolie’

Hello! She hasn’t said a proper word in over a year. Then she came out with ‘J’taime’. Amazing shit.  She even laughed when  my uncles  joked about. She was soaking up the family vibes like a paper saturated LSD sheet, that after a couple of hours non stop twittering, she couldn’t keep up with everything that was going on and so we left her to chill and repose.

We all went to the place I am getting married on 22/06/2016

Look at the gigantic love bird cage!

to have English  tea and other fancies. I felt a slight tinkle of pity for the waiter then thought fuck it he is getting paid for this.. We all just rocked up demanding High tea.  Not just any up of chaar y’know.He had  other demanding tables to wait on and he  had to get out all the fine china out and set a table for nine. The two non- tea drinkers of the day demanding a drink . Waiter becomes barman.Should he maybe get a superhero hashtag?   It took so long far to long to receive my drink so  I thought I might as well order two.  Seriously over half an  hour to shake up a cocktail and pull a fine draught of ale? The thought did cross my mind to ask  if we had  decided to down grade and  have ‘low tea’ as opposed to high tea, would that hurry the waiter/barman up/china crackpot to point us to our table. 



We had a flip flapping time. Crumbs of Easy conversation and catching up. Lashings of Laughter,the clinking of  inhouse family jokes  peppered along scones, clotted cream, creme brulee. tarts, crust free sandwiches and watches. Sounds like I’m straying into Lewis carroll’s mad hatter party territory. Let me enlighten thee, My twin uncles decided to buy everyone a watch. I’m no name brand dropper but it’s a good one. It tick tocks. Hahaaha. They left on saturday and I didn’t want to see them go.  I didn’t want  to say goodbye. I left our rendez -vouz on a high.

Other news from the languished  fields of Grasse. Imagine  a delicate fleur’s petals being pressed into an uncompromising position and so  decides to use it’s fragrance like a weapon. I too have been put into many -ahem… positions this afternoon. Ha don’t be so dirty minded.Or is that moi?

THE BEASTER has totally  beasted me.   I do  genuinely feel like puking every time I finish her workouts.

Aaaaaaw I’ve been so spoilt. Earlier today my Ma and my other uncle stopped by  for a natter-he bought a beautiful gift for all of us. A gold cross for my daughter, an Italian dog tag for the hubby to be and a  gorgeous Senegalese  necklace for me. It is meant to bring good luck.

I have been so touched by the love and gestures of my uncles . My aunt was missed but  ultimately we have to move on.. Reminds me of another saying

‘If you are depressed you are living in the past and if your are anxious you are living in the future and if you are at peace you are living in the now’

I’ve been so low and anxious lately. I’ve had super- charged extremities in mood changes- rapid cycling – is the term most in the know use. I think I would rather do a 3 day spinning class than go through these mood changes. I am the proverbial ‘ mood ring’.  Is the mood ring  a proverbial phrase?  Whatever it’s been done.  I always get through it but it is wiffy dogs bollocks . Yesterday, I thought- shall I get tanked up on alcohol? and then I thought I can’t be bothered. I can see no benefit to it other that a little merriment. When did I get so sensible, so not l’enfant terrible’?  Perhaps, my now not so-new coping skills  have changed the dynamics of my   criss crossed , disjointed and colourful patterns  in my brain of  some my old behaviours. The grooves may or may not have got ‘groovier’ Depends who you talk to on the subject of grooviness.  This leads me to the  ‘WRAP’ (up)course I’m doing. I’m so new to blogging and wordpress.  I am trying to add a  WRAP page with subcategories  for all the different topics I will cover in the group so I can share it. So far so not succeeding on the website working.

I did it.  Got a blog posted. FUCK that was hard. It might not win me  an  ‘awesome blog post’ award but I did it. mmmmmmmmmmmmh that reminds me of a wedding cake update I need to do…………


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