If you want to read something sad. this isn’t for you

I’m going to post about all the fantastic things going on in my life. There is too much pain and sadness in this world. I don’t know about you but I always tend to focus more on what has gone wrong in my life and play down what has actually gone all right. Sometimes situations can be like a double edged sword. More Perspective is an  essential requisite to live a life worth living!  The media week has been full of the terrorist attacks in France. I am a French citizen and proud to to be one but regardless of my nationality or not. I choose to unite. ‘Divide and conquer’ has lost it’s place in my repertoire on this subject.

To narrow things down to what has been going on in my own life. I will start by saying I have been a moany, OCD mess of a wife-to-be- my partner is re decorating our home and I hate mess. I can’t live with it. So today for the first time I’ve been kinder to my partner. I moved into my home in 2008 and 7 months pregnant. I was at the end stage of a violent relationship, and I had to get the house painted as best as I could and before my daughter was born. I was so stressed and tired that I kept the black walls in our bedroom and the bright yellow in the bathroom. Life carries on and we are now nearing the end of 2015 and finally my amazing partner has finished decorating the top half of the house. My mood is lifted. Everything feels fresh.  I wasn’t like this a week ago but I can see the bigger picture now and I love it!

I’m into my 8th week of  WELLNESS RECOVERY ACTION PLAN and my first week down of  a four week   voluntary training with healthy minds charity . I’m four weeks away from doing other training with HOPE-CRC charity. Last week a person in my group gave me a mantra to tell myself:

‘I am at peace with what has happened is happening, and has happened’

The other that I picked out for my self was:

‘ I am successful in everything I do.’

I believe that me  constantly repeating these two  mantras has helped me gain a better perspective.  Today, I co-facilitated my first Anti-stigma– mental health awareness work shop with a wonderful lady. I got to tell  an organisation  about some of my experiences with mental health stigma. I’m usually terrified of getting up and public speaking. I kept saying my mantras and  the big day arrived. Today. I was calm. I was able to maintain eye contact. People cried. They couldn’t believe that the person  who I described of who  I was and how I coped in the past was the same  person they saw standing in front of them. I get so much from what I do with my life these days. Everyone I meet is a potential ally. Someone who I want to collaborate with or just know. I’m blessed I truly am! In the most non -religious way  a person can be. I’m blessed by Zeus! haha.

We are just over half of November and I’ve stuck to my NaNoWriMo  challenge and I’ve written 20 000 words already! I never though I could write one word. These little challenges are what gives meaning to my life. I am not going to apologise for having nothing to complain about. My health is good. My daughter is an angel – except when she stamped on my cat’s tail this evening. I have family and friends around me who love me. Today I want to put out all that positivity into the atmosphere. By challenging my perspectives, so many doors have and are still opening for me. It’s brilliant. I don’t feel this fantastic everyday but like I wrote at the beginning I tend to focus on what I have lost as opposed to what I have gained.

Fear is a powerful disabling feeling but my god when you push though it and get onto the other side of fear ;that is when the magic truly begins.

So a happy me is going to say a happy Ciao –

please look for  updates on the miserable parts of my life. That’s me done!







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