Do you see what I see?


*PLEASE TAKE NOTE THE CONTENT I HAVE WRITTEN IN THIS POST IS SUSCEPTIBLE TO SUDDEN CHANGE BECAUSE OF COURSE I AM MENTALLY CHALLENGED*

I realise I haven’t really written much on my mental health issues of late. I find it a bit un balanced that I only talk about the shit days and not the good days. Maybe some of you will go

“oh she isn’t struggling BORING! time to move on to the next post”. That is cool but I feel there is a  need for this post to explain how things are for me. 

My illnesses have not gone away. They haven’t been cremated and  gathered up. Taken up by the wind- dispersed  to all four corners of the globe.

North,

South,

East,

and West. I would love that to happen. If I was an artist I think that image  could make an epic drawing or painting. My illnesses are still here.

  • I still have more thoughts about my weight than I do about my own wedding.

  • I still weigh myself a couple of times a day

  • I still deprive myself of certain foods.

  • I still exercise even when my body needs the rest.

  • I still think people are looking a my perceived flaws when they may just be listening to me speak.

I have found out a secret. My Grandad did this all his life and he was a mostly successful  business man.

SECRET: When talking with people the best way to connect in a conversation is with eye contact.  Seems  obvious,right.?

“WHAT DOES DAISY MEAN? ” a shrug of the shoulders both   palms open,  pushing upwards

I mean,

True eye contact that makes that spark. Similar to the one you use naturally when you meet someone new who you think,

Mmmmmmh yeah this person can put his/her shoes under my bed ANY DAY!

Don’t confine this look just to the people you want to screw or make love to or marry . Use it all the time.

Unless you  are having a shit day then, by all means opt out.

This effort to spark a connection makes the other person realise that you see them as a person not just some guy who is at the check out counter helping you with your groceries, or that person who serves you a coffee.

It is a powerful tool, Rasputin didn’t do to bad. I’m not saying I  can hypnotize people. Although that is pretty cool.

It is a look that urges people to engage and to reveal information about themselves.

A couple years back,I went to a live hypnotist show -another day -another blog. I can’t be hypnotised btw .

I digress,

Okay,so back to my mental health. So why no huge blips?

I haven’t drunk alcohol since New years eve. I think this helps keep  my moods in check and gives the meds I am on a better chance to do the job..

I’m still  saying my mantras- constantly.

Before each work out, I  go right up close to the mirror in my lounge  and I peer into my eyes and give myself THE GOOD TALK. I usually get a little thought that comes from almost out of my mind that says,

You don’t look like you have convinced yourself . Ah ,if only I could hypnotize myself.

The point is, I try to big myself up instead of bullying myself.

I give myself small goals to achieve  and  look forward to; next week I am having a tattoo done. I am beyond excited about. I’ve been saving up and waiting for the day to come for three months!

I’ve not been spending loads of  time dribbling over FB and hitting the scroll down arrow for hour after monotonous hour . Oh shit, maybe FB is the only thing that can hypnotise me? That  is fucking terrifying. One reason I don’t watch T.V. -I read, I do watch movies and series. I  don’t want to be a victim of Huxley’s  ‘Brave new world’ of what the perfect society looks like.

Communication. I communicate  my feelings. I don’t hide it all away from my family. If I have a panic attack I ask for a hug, I ask someone to help me in a way that I can help myself.

I don’t  over- commit myself to events that I may not be able or want to fulfil. I say NO -a lot. I am an extrovert when I go out into the world but when I am around too many people for too long I became drained. When I give myself to people. I give my full attention. So, I then become an introvert for a bit because I need a lot of alone time to build myself back up.

I blog. All this has helped me naturally want to write about other shit.  How lame and depressing  it be to read about all my troubles?

Day in and Day out. When you read that last sentence try and picture a buoy bobbing up an down in the ocean. That’s all it does. How many times are you going to want to look at that image when you are at the ocean?

 When there are ship wrecks to discover,  colourful fish to  photograph , clear white powdery beach sand grains gently ex foliating your feet, lots of tanned people smiling (because they are not in the U.K.)

I jest. I jest.  I don’t.  I would rather  hand your the shot gun myself and help you squeeze the trigger.

I also have a sense of humour. I give my time  to the people and causes I WANT  to.

If there is any statement that can sum up this post it is:

I am Daisy.A living breathing component in this world,

*CLICHE ALERT*

‘I am not my labels’.

I do not want to breathe life into them and inflate them. I don’t want a collection of  blow up dolls of my illnesses ,thanks. I’m trying to go for the minimalist look here.

That is it. No magic just appreciating the good times.

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18 thoughts on “Do you see what I see?

  1. Right on. Good stuff. “Good days”…I’ve felt like they’re not as interesting, as well, but I guess I try to post good AND bad stuff, in order to keep some kind of balance. Yeah, somtimes there’s just crap between my ears, but others…not so much. 🙂

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  2. I will write dark myself about memories and/or to connect to others that may have been through anything mind altering and being on meds and their effects. People do not understand. I will write while lucid about things I remember very detailed, so feel free this is a pretty good community of people and we support each other. You should also know I am a trainer and I have gone through my fair share of things I have written in detail about. I am occasionally going dark. The first time I did it I had several people very concerned, so I had to add disclaimers. Keep it up, feel free to share and do not be worried. 🙂 Oddly enough I was going to do an award post tomorrow, which when I do them they are crazy. it is both an award post and a meet and greet at the same time but I see you just got nominated for an award. I had one I unleashed that nobody saw here and I gave it out to 20 people and in 2 weeks I saw 300 people with it. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • aaaaaaaaaaaaaaw when I started my blog I thought the main topics would take a mental health approach but I’m not always suffering and I think there is more about me and more about anyone than just their illness. If that makes sense. I will always write what feels true to me. That is the time people connect more. I think we you have made a comment similar to that before. I do take on board comments and advice I think is going to work for me. I agree with one of your comments that we need to mix things up , try writing in different styles and play around with different content I don’t see this as ‘selling’ out. I believe this can only make a person a stronger and better writer and blogger. I have received the veratile blogger a couple of times and I am not sure what the protocol is for sharing how many times I can get the same reward. I have thanked http://whenyoulookforthegood.com/2016/02/26/a-welcome-surprise/
      I don”t think I should take this award again . You wer going to nominate me an award? WOW WOW WOW.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I’ve never done a meet and greet before. You can give ma an award any time! 😀 I don’t mind. Our little community is growing. Patience and attention and consistency and communication is what will make our community epic!

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      • I am going to do an award post in a couple of hours. But I have on occasion felt the walls closing in on me, had weird vivid, lucid dreams where I did not know what was happening and what I remembered and I wrote about the mental illness memories while not in a state of a breakdown, rather what I fewlt then. It connected me with some viewers and some were very suicidal and I was thanked by a few as they did not think anyone knew what was happening in their minds. Which was awesome to aid someone based on the concept that we all have very unusual times. Have meds that make us zombies or an attack of some kind that leaves a WTF happened type of feel. I was very careful in these writings and did a few very good ones. I think us all sharing is beneficial. I have never had an issue talking but many do and this is a great place to do so. I look forward to talking to you and watching you grow:)

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Transition happens. Reaching out, sharing ourselves, is a stage in which we are reinforcing the “I’m ok. I’m not too different, although messed up, from you stage.” Once we discover that there are others experiencing the same things we’re on the next track, the “how did you deal with that, and the I’m improving by…” track.
    But through this awareness, something magical, almost imperceptible begins to take over. “Hey, I’m not that person anymore. I’m not those labels. I’m an overcomer.”
    And then the greatest discovery of all begins in the wake, “Waddaya know! I’ve been through it and have overcome. “I am a healer.”

    Liked by 2 people

    • You have such lovely writing style that reflects on my post-well all of the posts you have commented on haha. I guess I’m getting there. I am going to pat myself on the back Can I call you ART? Or do you have a nickname? 😀 Daisy the overcomer and healer! I like that 🙂 it makes me feel good. Thank you for sharing your wise words and reminding myself to be kind to myself and praise myself. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Hi Daisy, I am not a habitual commenter (though I am trying to improve this), but I read all of your posts and can appreciate how much of yourself you put out there in an effort to keep people aware and talking and engaged. I can see that you work really hard on this. I have thus nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award. If you are interested, you can find the details here: http://whenyoulookforthegood.com/2016/02/26/a-welcome-surprise/
    Thanks!

    Liked by 2 people

    • WOW! Thank you so much! It’s so lovely for you to recognise that I am doing something right in the blogging world. I will never turn down an award 😀 .With the day I have had this has made my day and inspired me to keep on forging ahead. Have an awesome week end.

      Liked by 2 people

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