The globe is spinning and spinning and today we stop off in China. Again. These people know how to be happy.
SECRET TO HAPPINESS: CONSIDER HOLDING YOUR TONGUE AND WORDS BEFORE SOMEBODY TAKES THEM TO HEART
TRADITION: CHI KOU RI (‘day of dispute’)
DATE: CHINESE LUNAR NEW YEAR (January/February
CELEBRATED IN: CHINA
The amount of times I think to myself, I would rather be honest than feel like a fraud. I’ve learned over the years that sometimes it’s not my place to tell the truth as I see it. It’s not my place to be blunt and honour my character and personality. . Words can hurt people. Speaking my mind has consequences and they are not always positive. I am beginning to realise that some people are more sensitive and blunt words from me (not knowing the whole story) is like an arrow to the heart. I’m realising that just because I think I know a part of the truth of something or someone’s situation -maybe it is not my place to say it.
I’ve always struggled with:
Do I be honest? OR Do I kind?
Of course I want to be both. I’m sure I’m not alone in thinking this. Sometimes weighing up the options is hard. It’s tough getting the right balance.
I’ve said things to people – matter of factly and I look at the response on their faces and I’ve seen tears form in their eyes. BIG OOPS! That was not how I meant it to go.
In China there is a saying:
The Chinese understand that when water is spilt it cannot be re-collected. I did a post on the Chinese Lunar year –Givers: the ones who taught us. The festival can last up to a month. One of the days celebrated is called ‘Day of Dispute’. It’s a day where the Chinese consciously honour that ‘ critical pause’ that happens just between out impulses and how we express those impulses.
Throughout the days that the celebrations take place, Spring festival is buzzing with parties and abundance and indulging. Plenty of food and drink consumed.
Day 3: The third day of the Chinese New year commonly known as “Chi Kou Ri” (the day of red mouth) is the day to stay at home. Older members of the family who are superstitious believe that a red mouth would result in arguments and quarrel. They also call this day “Chi Gou Ri” meaning (the day of red dog). Traditionally, anyone who runs into the red dog will encounter bad thingshttp://carlgene.com/blog/2010/12/33-proverbs-that-translate-well-between-english-and-mandarin/
On this day people go home early. They may go and pray at a local temple, they go inwards to regain balance and inner harmony.
There is so much to learn from this. Next time the bubbles of rage float upwards, ready to create and release from out of your mouth,a huge cartoon- like bubble of ‘what’s on my mind’ speech.
Try inhaling and counting to three or even better look to the sky or around you to get a sense of the worlds true immensity. If you do decide to act on your thoughts and speak- speak slowly and try to consider the impact of your words as you speak. Be conscious in that moment- Remember how vast the world is and how small this discussion is compared to the world.
If you can pause and weigh up the worth of your words before speaking,usually you will be able to come up with wiser and a more gentle speech of words.
One other tip- always get a good night sleep — there is evidence that we make a better judgements when our pre frontal cortex is happy and chilled. 😉
prefrontal cortex (PFC) is located in the very front of the brain, just behind the forehead. In charge of abstract thinking and thought analysis, it is also responsible for regulating behavior. This includes mediating conflicting thoughts, making choices between right and wrong, and predicting the probable outcomes of actions or events. This brain area also governs social control, such as suppressing emotional or sexual urges. Since the prefrontal cortex is the brain center responsible for taking in data through the body’s senses and deciding on actions, it is most strongly implicated in human qualities like consciousness, general intelligence, and