“I’m not a wilting flower. I’m honest, so I pick a lot of fights. I’ve burned a lot of bridges.” Scott Thompson
SO WHY THIS QUOTE?
I don’t go around the streets picking fights with everyone.
I don’t go hollering ‘Yo mama is so big……..
I have always been wilful and stubborn and not afraid to speak my mind. I then became a teenager and I got bullied emotionally and I became ill and I lost my voice.
Then I found it again! WOOP!
I have burnt a lot of bridges speaking my mind with certain exes I didn’t have the courage or confidence to speak up when I split with them . The power of social media came and gave me a chance to speak my mind.There are a few men who won’t let go and just be cool and be friends. I see that as an issue with them. I am at peace with my past and I have forgiven myself and others.
It is no one person’s fault but I am at that point in my life where I go
” – shit, man… I’m not holding any grudges.. I don’t want to take that bitterness with me.”
I have learned to tone down my bluntness. I remember a time before my Gran had Dementia. She lived a good life until my grandpa passed on with cancer and then we lost our home, diaries, pictures, everything.
We moved from South Africa to France and then the U.K. to make a new life.
Anyway that’s a whole other book.
My Gran bought a fake oyster pearl Rolex on-line. She asked me to buy it for her on-line.I was muttering on about politics and slavery and how we are not helping people working in sweat shops,to improve their working conditions and life.
A few weeks later. We were out in town and in her charming French accent. She asked me what I thought of her new Rolex watch .
The first thing I thought,
“It looks fake!”
Well, to say my Gran was offended was an understatement. I was met with such vehemence. Any one would have thought I had told her, she smells like the sewerage system in Barcelona.
We had a bit of a to do. Gran:
” How dare you talk to me that way. You have no respect.”
My Ma was trying to get me to apologise and I was standing my ground.
Why must I lie? I have every right to tell the truth. What has respect got to with my opinions?
No I didn’t burn my bridges for good. I love my Gran and she loves me -even now that she has Dementia and only sort of knows I am someone she was close to.
I’ve burnt bridges with family members like my Dad and my uncles. So many people have turned away. Sometimes it is because I refused to hide my quirks – or my illness and how I coped with life ,I was misunderstood and people thought I was being a douche bag. I have been a bit of a dick at times.
What is the single most important aim for me now? Today.
Is knowing I can re build bridges if I want to.
We all can.
I’ve got the love back and respect back from some of the people who matter to me. I can say I have tried.
If people don’t want to help you re connect or just acknowledge your differences for peace of mind. That is there problem not mine or yours.
It’s not worth hold in on to a grudge. It’s not worth thinking that because you fucked up a lot that you can’t ever go through life not fucking up again
I only recently “fucked up” again, ( I say this in very loose terms) with some work I am involved in. It was dealt with fairly,
I got to speak my mind.
I came to the conclusion that letting shit go and working with some one or something is far better in my interests than turning my back and walking away. Especially since I have put a lot of effort and passion and hours into this project.
I have become that person that puts aside my harsh feelings and I am usually the first person to be happy for peace.
I don’t want drama! I really don’t.
I wish I could let go of my weight and scales issues. I should practice what I preach .
I do but when it comes to my Eating disorder…
well, it’s a never ending bloody soap opera. There is only so many times you can bring a character back from the dead, right?
Have hope! Bridges can be rebuilt and if not -it says more about you and the type of person you are, to make the effort and the courage it takes to be the person to try and make amends.
Remember, if some one won’t entertain you after you try to make amends.
Move the fuck on.
There is so much more of life to see and wasting it waiting around for some one to like you again or forgive you is a waste of time.
So hold no grudges and move on today!
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