Emotional IQ zero percent


Just let go – what have you got to lose?

eyes veer from every inch of the walls surrounding her, desperately imploring ,pleading for an answer.

Gain, gain – You have everything to gain.

Let yourself be loved, adored ,laugh.

Gain some weight. Give Life a heart beat that doesn’t stutter out cacophonously  .

Passing  by incongruent signs .

Lose what exactly?

Sentiment?

That last chance to see that person or  experience that moment again.

Move on. Time escapes no one.

Yes, move on but isn’t that like quitting?

You are too stubborn. You will be the tower that gets struck by lightening. catches fire and burns to the ground.

You would have been at you highest yet  still trying to glimmer amongst stars you imagine are on top of the true hierarchy.

‘It wasn’t a solid foundation, to begin with,’ she says.  This time, I  get to start again,’she says.

We all deserve a second chance -even a third – not all  of us are so  pleasantly aligned with the heavens to be given such a gift – another chance to explore.

Malignant. maleficiated. Morose.

Fantasies played out over and over in her mind.

Could that be the allure?

She is aware her  thinking is not  based in reality but in a place where everything works out just fine.

Let go,that part of your mind. That dream. Free up space for new ideas, true goals to achieve and be who you are meant to be.

Sometimes, that is why she  chooses to escape. She can’t handle feeling the tug. Sitting, looking at lines on  the palms of her hands  Feeling trapped.

To make contact -one last time.  her heart sighs….

Sounds like a recording   from the denial addiction hotline.

One last time will never be enough.

It isn’t physical. It’s emotional. It’s deep – it’s raw. It’s irrational. Bordering on obsessive.

If she could frolick with ignorance – it would make this sentence- seem less like walking the green mile.

Fighting emotions with reason – battery ,assault, bruised, cutting remarks.

Too much time has passed. She has  experienced the same mistakes all too often.

She can’t run to her nearest anchor be it – drugs, alcohol, eating, not eating,

Her will has been made.  She signed on the dotted line. Willingly. She has chosen Life .

To feel is a double edged sword. No matter how many times you practice and try and form it into a skill ,a talent even.

The blunt edge is the one that gets sharper.

Every. single. time.

Not even the great Houdini could carry on escaping. You think there is endless time?

Insight – is a savage bastard- reasoning with it feels like watching your favourite   underground band selling out to a big corporation.

She  must suppress. Not reveal her breasts. She may offend someone.

She wishes you to know  – male gender .

If it is hot and you take your t-shirts off – then let her do the same – no bra or cover up.

Equality is a simple equation .

Look at Algebra!

 when you know the rules it all becomes a little simpler to understand.

Life is not one and one makes two.

It is all an illusion. We are everywhere, everyone, every feeling, every planet, every language, every song.

Stop counting.

When any species is under attack it will either choose immortality or fight and evolve- transcend –  would you believe she learnt that from a sci-fi film?

Life is short. bittersweet. Is that why she won’t let go ?

She wants to make sure  that whatever happens to someone she has ever had the privilege of meeting to make amends and not feel grief.

Selfish, yes – at least she will be at peace.

* Inspired by me being reminded I wear my heart of my sleeve*

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19 thoughts on “Emotional IQ zero percent

    • Thank’s Summer. I wasn’t going publish it. I thought it was just blah – downer material lol. Then I changed my mind and I had a feeling you would get me 😀 – comforting but I don’t want you to go through this torture xxxx hugs and love all the way from the North xxxx

      Liked by 1 person

      • My emotional IQ is fucked basically 😝 Sometimes I feel guilty when I write darker posts, but when you feel emotions as strongly as we do, you can’t help but explore it all, good and bad. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it, as ever ❤ 👍 😘 🙋

        Liked by 1 person

      • Ha ha! It’s a good job I know you and your voice. I have to laugh or ….. I also feel a bit guilty. I’m like ‘ aw why you wallowing?’ but then again you are right. Life is not always good but it is what you do with the shit times that counts. I am a constant work in progress and you are a brave soul. Take care hun. Catch up with you – somewhere over the other side of some social media rainbow xxxxxxx

        Liked by 1 person

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