The harlot

*A BIT OF A MESS BUT MY MIND STATE IS IN THE NON -PAIN ZONE.  FUCKING PATHETIC. I DID WHAT I NEEDED TO DO. I  got answers*

Heathen !

Thieving!

Scheming!

A women who professes to be authentic

yet all she does is  making her self look pathetic.

The heart connects with what it wants.

Mind comes in with that rational  thought of ‘you can’t’.

Deserve to be  kicked to the gutter.

She can’t even summon up the courage to  talk about it. It all comes out in a garbled a stutter!

“Believe in your self.”

“I know you are scared.”

She only ever wanted to see him fare and succeed in the his own concept of desired wealth.

He says:   “We can’t be in the same room as each other”

For he and her  may just tear their clothes apart again and enjoy skin on skin contact  -She loves to discover.

She walked out like a harlot.

Made her bed and

Oh how she lay in it!

Thorns are necessary to feel the pain of her errant milk maid ,hay, rollicking  moment as Charlotte.

She  is not some good little girl  who knows  how to carve a lie out of  it.

A piece of her heart is not with her.

She left it with another  soul she is not allowed to  bother.

What one wants the other has,

what the other wants the other has.

Slow down.

Be a happy family.

You are going to have to rip this ‘party girl’ crown off her to get some sense of loyalty.

She is the betrayer.

She sows what she reaps.

If that means loss.

Then I guess she needs to stick to her decisions and take the leap.

Questions?

Answers!

“Look into my eyes,”

“did you feel it?”

Or is that her reading into things too much and getting smogged in the thick of this illusory bet?

Illusions and fantasy are all played  out fantastically in the mind.

Put it into practice and she gets to be the one has to deal with her foibles and  his  own “diplomatic”declines.

She am going to make it through it,

no matter what she does.

She is here for a purpose.

Lets make sure it counts and is worth it.

The harlot – the whore.

The one who felt wanted for a whole hour more.

No payment.

Just talk .

Do the right thing.

She  tries but her heart fucking stings.

Blue eyes that pull her closer.

She pull away because she knows that he can let this go and  invite around   medley of his most champion party voters. 

She champions you as she always has,

 She respects your need to get you life in order.

When you  left you,

You never even looked back.

Just another 2 week of holding  onto  your sac.

Its cool..

  When she plays with fire, what must she expect?

 a bunch of  free fries to go with her  Macccie D?

Had more time to cuddle.

The best part was the silence.

It didn’t feel awkward it felt right in the wrongest circumstance.

Feeling alienated from my family .

My friends.

Blue pills and champagne soften the blow.

 Why are we celebrating?

Her perfect timing on how to right and sort out the logistics of it all and tamper with a heart is an epic disaster

-given to me by another.

No butter required!

The harlot pays her own way,just for the record.

Feeling impulsive, doped up and feeling not too shit. She thought she  would wake up in A&E –

Some source has greater plans for her .

I don’t how he can bear to look at her .

She want’s you to know that she  loves You G .

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Dare to wither.

Random reflections.

We shouldn’t be afraid to reach our full potential in life and blossom. Yet we do. Are we so  scared of decay and rot and to be forgotten? 

Seems that way.

We must not  fight what and whom  we were born to be. 

Why do I have to pick the one tree that I love, over all the other ones, that is only with us briefly?

A blossom tree

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I wanted to get married under one. There is something so ethereal about them when I see them  at the height of their beauty.

Falling petals.

The moment they seem most exquisite is when they are closer to death than life.

I see beauty in death.

I see beauty in life.

I researched about what the Blossom tree has been used  for as a symbol.

In Japan, in world war 2,

It became the symbol  of patriotism to the Japanese people.

They too see how fleeting life is. All the more to live it with great deep breaths and with as much gusto and energy as one can.

LIVE!

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What does piss me off is the propaganda the government  spread around beliefs of the  blossom tree.

As poetic as it sounds : It is said that  people were encouraged to believe that when the souls of warriors died ,they came back as blossom flowers.

A lovely notion but this is on a par with Roman rhetoric. It is a manipulation and I hate seeing the words – Nature and manipulation standing together.

But can the two exist without the other?

I think, let flowers live and be what they are.

Let us humans live and be what we are.

Humans with a  heightened awareness of the fragility of life,

are the  ones that put the  humane in humaneness.

We don’t need to be any other but ourselves to stand out and be beautiful .

Look how how magnificent we look when we coexist with nature.

Appreciate what we have today.

Our beauty in all its manifestations from the second we  shine  never leaves us -not even in physical  death.

Yes.

It does transform.

Transformation is not a bad thing.

Revel in each one.

MINI LIFE UPDATE

Daisy gets hang out with a lovely bunch of Blossoms this evening. It has come around with great rapidity .

My hen do!

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I’m so excited. I feel like my tender has sprinkled drops over me, stroked my petals and said:

“you are loved and tonight we are going to make sure you don’t become a wall flower and keep the weed side of you  at home.” 

First night out since NYE 2015. A wedding costs a lot of money

. Obvious fact of the day. 😉

Me today?

Always closer to death but rocking the wabisabi philosophy.

“Wabi-sabi reminds us that we are all transient beings on this planet—that our bodies, as well as the material world around us, are in the process of returning to dust.

Nature’s cycles of growth, decay, and erosion are embodied in frayed edges, rust, liver spots. Through wabi-sabi, we learn to embrace both the glory and the melancholy found in these marks of passing time.”

http://www.utne.com/mind-and-body/wabi-sabi.aspx

Beautiful because I am withered.

Daisy sings- the circle of liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife

So as you may or may not know – you should know 😉 I go on about it enough. I’m getting married on 22/06.

Yesterday me and my better half went to have a look at wedding bands. Nothing fussy. There were sales on. We found the most simple ,nondescript looking band and thought that will do. Then seemingly at the same time our eyes veered to the price tag underneath £299.  *SALE* WOW! DON’T MISS THIS OPPORTUNITY.

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The U.K.  have started charging a tax on carrier bags now

We both looked at one another.

Our eye connected. This sounds so romantic .

This is it.

We both looked at the entrance to the jewellers.

Smiles mirroring each others.

We both had the same thoughts.

True soul mates.

We backed away and I may have mumbled something about looking for a ring another day. Today was paying bills day.

I may have said to my better half

” Why don’t we get tattooed rings.”

My other half’s face said it all. How can you be so tacky,Daisy. I shrugged, it was just an idea. He is a bit of a dude- long hair,skater type.

So I kind of imagined this was running through his head

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My other half is from the North of England. The cheaper the better or so I thought.

He was mumbling about how as soon as the word ‘wedding’ was put n front of anything consumable the price triples. He has a point. He is not cheap.

I merely  jest. I jest…… 😀

So, it got me thinking. Why do we need a wedding band any way?

Let’s buck tradition.

Oh no– I get the same look again -this time the thoughts that seem to go thorough his mind  are: Oh Daisy. Do you always have to be so otherwise, so ,so rebellious.  He is already planning on invites to make me conform to how a traditional wife thinks.

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So what does all this ring malarkey mean?

I get the whole ring /circle thing represents something eternal, something un breakable. A bond, a pact.

There must be more to it than just a symbol of our undying love towards one another.

Can’t we just seal the deal with a blood pact? I’m kidding. …

So the research begins and like a ring never ends, so does the shopping… I’m kidding.. .. I do get tired and I do need sleep.

Lets go back to Egypt and walk like an Egyptian for a moment. The brides used to wear a woven plant circle ring on their finger as a sign of I am not going to go off with that rather sexy slave of ours.

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We humans are an indecisive bunch. The ring was worn on the right finger for a time. The Romans  had  to make up their own rules, of course and decide the ring will go on the left finger.

WHY?

What Have-

Do they need a reason?

It is actually quite romantic:

According to  a tradition believed to have been derived from the Romans, the wedding ring is worn on the left hand ring finger because there was thought to be a vein in the finger, referred to as the ‘Vena Amoris’ or the ‘Vein of Love’ said to be directly connected to the heart.

http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2010/09/the-origin-of-wedding-rings-and-why-theyre-worn-on-the-4th-finger-of-the-left-hand/

Before you start swooning ladies they also were the first people to use iron to make a ring.

Not because it would last longer but it was a sign that women were owned. A bit like a mini dog chain.

Here’s me thinking the Romans redeemed themselves.

Another more reserved and practical reason for wearing the ring on the left hand and fourth finger comes from the Christians. Not a bone of romanticism in this reason:

Most people are right handed,and it was seen as the finger that would do the least amount of work.

*DISCRIMINATION ALERT* . (I take offence to that, I am a lefty) I think the fourth finger would like to point out he does as much work as the others….

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Interestingly, in many countries, even today, including Norway, Russia, Greece, Ukraine, Bulgaria, Poland, Austria, Germany,Portugal and Spain, the wedding ring in worn on the ring finger of the right hand and not the left

http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2010/09/the-origin-of-wedding-rings-and-why-theyre-worn-on-the-4th-finger-of-the-left-hand/

So, do we even need a ring. Can’t our vows be enough?

I suspect I’m going to lose this argument. I even got shot down with another look of disgust mixed with pity, when I mentioned Haribo rings!

And so the search  ring band shopping continues………..  forever and ever and ever and ever. There seems to be no end to this  search…

Happy Easter!

*DISCLAIMER. I DO NOT TAKE ANY CREDIT FOR THESE IMAGES OR GIFS.ALL IMAGES AND GIFS SOURCED FROM GOOGLE  IMAGES AND THE CREDIT LIES TO THE AUTHOR OF THESES IMAGES AND GIFS

well, I never would have thought it..

Today’s topic on symbolism on the Roman God ‘ Janus’  was inspired by a YA book trilogy series I am nearly finished reading 😦 called ‘ The originals’ . Originally, a spin off T.V. series off the back of Vampire diaries series/books.

His image shows a young child looking to the past and an old bearded man looking to the future.

 Something we can all relate to.

Some images have him depicted as having three heads. Here is why it is interesting to know this

Whenever the symbolism of Janus relates to time, between the past (which is no longer) and the future (which is not yet), the true Face of Janus—that which looks at the present and is supposed to face us—is not shown; it is neither one nor the other of the two we can see.

This third face is, in fact, invisible because the present in its temporal manifestation is but an intangible and imperceptible instant. (This is also why certain languages, such as Hebrew and Arabic, do not have present tense verbs.)

http://www.plotinus.com/janus_copy2.htm

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I see this as a rather hopeful symbol as opposed to something sad. It is always better, in my experience, to reflect on the ‘what you can do’ as opposed to ‘the what if’s’. Call me a reborn optimist. I was always a pessimist.

I’ve got my Geek head on now, Janus dates back to pre Roman times. So that goes back to the days before the “founder” of Rome- Romulas.

Interestingly, the month of January is named after him so we can see how his duplicitous image has been used as an opportunity for reflection.

He is seen as the door to the past and the the door to the future.

I think it so important not to close the door on your past completely because we humans thrive on  self refection – well I do.

The past is a great way to reflect -not wallow- at how we might do things differently.

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So what is true reflection?

  • Reflecting is thinking about what and how we have done something.

  •  It is a way of assessing what has happened and how you are going to go forward and apply this new knowledge to existing  and upcoming experiences .

So self reflection is an essential part of learning be it at school or in life.

I know a person who has what she calls “bad luck” in her choice of men. We have had arguments about this.  My argument is always take bad luck out of the equation. I always remind her that there are good men in the world.

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What is it that she may be doing that attracts her to the same type of man. I’ve seen her heart trampled on many times. I might come across as insensitive. I am not. I do give hugs. 🙂

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I also say to her,

What good can you take away from this experience for future choices with men?

She always shoots me down and says something like ” not to ever allow another man in my life” .

To me that is a sad prognosis and way to self reflect. Why only take away the negative  lessons away with you?

 Why not try to always take something positive you can take with you on your journey through life from whatever negative experience you have?

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How can we use self reflection to move forward on a solid footing?

 Self reflection can help us develop new skills

  • Self reflection can develop our strengths and work on our weaknesses

  •  By asking questions-we can come to a different solution to a problem

  • Self refection is a brilliant and balanced way of looking at our achievements

  • Self reflection can help you find out what truly makes you happy and what doesn’t

Reflection requires effort but the long term results are usually worth the initial effort.

It requires us to ask ourselves questions about our beliefs and values constantly and consistently – and try and be objective about the questions we ask ourselves.

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THE MESSAGE: It is so important that we understand ourselves first and foremost before we can begin to understand others behaviour and actions around us and what is going on around us.

The past if used in a way to self reflect can become the solid  basis for how we make the transition from the present to the the future.

All this from reading a YA book

an epic stag and Daisy hen do

Stag do’s seem to go back to the  Spartans , in the 5 century? Spartan’s  afraid to get married?

Spartans! this challenge of taking on a bride is no ordinary scuffle in the arena. You will never win –

 Mwahahahaha – from the evil bride(lurking in the back ground)   from some  obscure adults only pantomime

Okay….

Henry the 8 th was partial to oh I don’t know -say roughly 8 stag do’s in his time.

All his.

I look at him with a fresh perspective, he was just a wild party animal who didn’t know when to retire and let the young ones pick up the party where he left off.

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I could get really rude here and suggest an innuendo of a  she  be a  heading stag do?

I think. I would rather not go into that too much. Daisy has a filthy mind.

Soap.

Okay so on to  Hen do’s?

There is some research – it’s on Google  😀 that says that  the word  ‘hen’ way back could refer to any type of bird.

Us “chicks” have been associated with augury -divination by birds since Greek times.  So,quite rightly, our Grooms- to -be would need to get together with there fellow stags to have a few beverages. If only to help prop the poor groom to be on the day or give him a few pointers on how to win an argument with his bride. Good luck with that one…

 In the East henna is believed to have properties to purify us sinful brides and I quote

“…. and hold her risk free from the evil eye”

The evil eye, hey?

 Ah of course us ladies,over the centuries, have honed in our ability on  how to make sure the recipient of our   evil eye – men- make them feel the wrath of their inability to bring back the right colour box of tampons.

Are we that bad?

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The research on these stag/hen do’s  are rather hazy – maybe that is the point. I mean I thought there would be tons of information on how and when the stag and hen do originated  but not much is coming up. Only suggestions.

What am I doing for my hen night?

A cocktail making class with a difference.

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And my  beloved stag,

Well, it started with rock climbing- the only reason was so my hubby-to -be could laugh at his supposedly unfit friends – He is a cruel bastard isn’t he? 😉

He out right refused paint balling. He doesn’t want to look all bruised on the day. This coming from the same mouth who had to be dragged into a shop and forced into a suit on by his Best man along with the help of the best man’s wife!

The mind boggles….

Then it changed to a RPG night a the pub with a Ghost busters theme!? That one went straight over my head.

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Last time I checked it could be a toss up of bowling and a “historic”  pub crawl.  The difference is (according to my partner )a normal pub crawl is going from one bar to the next and consuming as much alcohol as possible and a historic pub crawl is visiting pubs with history and admiring the decor,as you do.

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A STAG DO WITH HISTORIC PURPOSE

 Interpret that as you may.  My partner doesn’t drink alcohol  but hey? It’s his stag do.

His theory in the ‘historic’  pub crawl is not focused on the drinking but on the pubs themselves and  his  other stags company.

And I thought is was us ladies who changed our mind as and when.

I’m sure him and his besties will have an epic time. I intend to 😀

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(ALL IMAGES SOURCED FROM GOOGLE IMAGES)

 

silver highlights

One of my favourite mantra’s/ quotes is:

“‘Every cloud,’ says the proverb, ‘has a silver lining,’ and so I did not despair.‘”

So of course I was going to get around to researching the symbolism of this mantra.

The moon basked in silvery light is a message of hope – in darkness there are shades of light -no matter how subtle. We only need a  small flicker  of light to switch on our hope.

Hope is pretty much how we carry on living in this world of ours. No hope = mere existence. Death even.

It is also a symbol of strength. We often need to summon up great strength from within to grasp onto the concept that hope is a choice.

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THESE DAISY’S NEVER GAVE UP BREATHING

 

 

This is symbolic of a subtle strength.  The message here is that we ourselves can be flexible enough to be molded into something better – but strong enough to keep our core integrity in tact.

http://www.symbolic-meanings.com/2007/11/01/symbolism-of-silver/

What is really interesting  to me is where the saying,

‘Always look for the silver lining.’  came from?

Some one once told me that if I can imagine a storm cloud clearing , soemtimes the rays from the sun shine behind the cloud like a lamp and can give the cloud an appearance that there is a sliver lining around it., this is where the ‘silver lining’ term came from ,

So, the idea for this phrase is that when things are looking dreary, there’s always a brighter side; the comparison looks to be drawn from how dark clouds have a brighter side to them: their ‘silver linings.’

http://www.knowyourphrase.com/phrase-meanings/Every-Cloud-Has-a-Silver-Lining.html

This saying was huge in ‘ the great depression’ era. Tons of  upbeat songs were written about it. This says a lot about humans capacity to never give up hope, even when the world seems on the brink of an apocalypse.

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I read so many  things about how humans  how humans have lost their humanity but the silver lining in this post and it’s message is clear:

If we can still hang on to some shred of hope that  there is a chance that humanity can still be awakened in even the hardest iron clad of hearts. HUMANITY AND OUR WORLD HAS CHANCE

I shall let the lovely Judy Garland help you to ‘look for the silver lining’ today

 

( IMAGES SOURCED FROM GOOGLE- ‘LOOK FOR THE SILVER LINING –TILL THE CLOUDS ROLL BY JUDY GARLAND – SOURCED FROM YOU TUBE)

Ashes and Fedex

 *If you are religious you may take offence to this post.* Just saying 😀

Ashes as you probably know signal the end of a persons life . Nobody really knows when/ what ashes were and are exactly meant to represent. The most common symbolism is mortality.

Come , now people… let’s just accept we are all gonna die.

  In a world that often expects us to be perfect, Ash Wednesday gives us an opportunity to freely confess our imperfections. We can let down our pretenses and be truly honest with each other about who we are. We all bear the mark of sin, from the youngest babies to the oldest seniors. We all stand guilty before a holy God. We all are mortal and will someday experience bodily death. Thus we all need a Savior.

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/markdroberts/series/ash-wednesday-practice-and-meaning/

 

 My aunt died of Lung cancer on 21/02/ 2015. She wanted to be cremated. We honoured her wish. She was a free spirited hippy Catholic and she would rather give up her mortality -riddled with illness and attached to this mortal life by an invisible leash – so with courage and dignity she accepted her fate.  Morphine may or may not  have helped her speed up the process.

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IT IS TRUE I FOUND IT ON GOOGLE.

This is a bit of a random story . My twin uncles were supposed to fly out from Miami to the the U.K. for her funeral. They do a lot of travelling and were on an up grade standby.

They didn’t make the funeral – no upgrade.  There were no more than 10 people at her funeral. That’s kind of sad, isn’t it?

My aunt wanted her ashes to be spread in the Miami ocean – as close to Key West as possible. One night after having consumed many drinks she said to me  all she wanted was to leave the world behind and move to key west and own a bunch of chickens and just be.

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Her saying was

‘Eventually’  (as in it will happen, whatever it is you  out seek out and work for eventually it will be )

I’m kind of thinking she got her wish -some of her ashes must have  lapped up on to the key west  isle shores by now. I don’t know about the chickens ..

When I think about ashes as a symbol of mortality or sin , I am not superstitious. My uncles wanted to get my aunts ashes Fed- exed to Miami.

Yes, that is correct.

FEDEXED!

 They didn’t want to travel with them in case my aunt came back to haunt them or they spilled the ashes or for  whatever “rational”  reason. Strange men -my uncles-

twins!

 so, double strange. ( I will confirm I love my uncles)

Are they so scared to  face up to their own mortality?

Why should they be afraid when they are so religious and God loving men?

In the end ,they paid for a three week trip, for my Ma to go see them in Miami,as  long as she travelled with my Aunts ashes.

I have an eccentric family.

 Knowing my aunt like I did, she would have been giving my uncles a few clucks(slaps)  around the face telling them to ‘man up’ or ‘put on their big boy boots’ – so maybe she got her chickens in the end.

A double cluck!

I remember going to a catholic school that had a church – my Ma and Pa got married in that church. My  family thought it would be a great idea to send me to that school .

No problem, except I have never been baptised.

 

So, every ‘ash Wednesday’ we all had to come up and be marked with the ash cross of a sinner. My corruption and evilness was made crystal clear at those times.

Maybe I did need to repent.

I was more bothered about finding out how many  Easter eggs I was going to get. No one really explained what all this lent fuss was about to me.

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 All I cared about was going on an egg hunt.  My Ma used to  do a pretty impressive empty basket dress up and let me go hunting in the garden.

Ash Wednesday is a day to stare death in the face, to acknowledge our mortality. All of us will die. Christians who observe this holiday get ashes “imposed” on their foreheads, while a minister or lay church worker says, “You have come from dust, and to dust you will return.” In other words, “You are going to die. And here are some ashes to remind you, just in case you’ve forgotten.”

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/markdroberts/series/ash-wednesday-practice-and-meaning/

 Ha ha! . Okay, this is awesome – Why not come together to confess we are all a bunch of sinners. My main problem with this is: why the hell Catholics( and other faiths)  get away with  being such hypocrites?

 Catholics do have a bit of a reputation of being one of the  worst abusers  of our kind towards people with ‘the most sin’ – that is people with mental health issues.

My quest for the symbolism has left me with feelings that are a  tad  flaky.

THIS IS A SHOCKINGLY AWFUL POST. APOLOGIES.

Let me try and redeem myself.

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The last thing I want to say about  my research on th  symbolism of ash is:

I symbolise it with  war , hate and crime and greed

Many religions have some form of their own  ‘Ash Wednesday’, to  hold innocent people  accountable for their  churches sins. Not sins of the present day people but the sins of those who were  in the past responsible  for the  (and whose bloodlines are  still  in power of the Church)-

the blood slaying,

the abuse,

the greed,

sloth,

power hungry psychopaths.

I might not know  exactly where I’m going after I leave my mortal body but at least I don’t use some flimsy

‘Ashes to ashes dust to dust’ quote,

to bring people together to acknowledge their so- called sins.

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POSSIBLE POST MORTAL DESTINATION ?

 

If their is going to be any kind of day where people come together to acknowledge their sins. It should start with the highest church orders and governments of this world  to repent and who use religion to control and warp our society.

Lead by example?

just going to throw that out there.

I don’t need a day  OR a 40 day lent period  to know when I have been bad or good.

So, let me be bad and kick the pedestals from those who preach words to the ‘sinners’

Can you tell I’m not buying into this whole ash -religion thing.

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I think I would rather curl up to a good book of vampires, witches and wear wolves than carry on.

 My main message:

Ashes to ashes dust to dust

seriously now what is the fuss?

 –  that’s about as poetic as I get.

(ALL IMAGES SOURCED FROM GOOGLE IMAGES)