So many people watch and talk about those who they under estimate. By all means watch,
Maybe you will learn how to deal with one or two of your own issues
A perfectly flawed Daisy Willows
I let us down?
Shadows betrayed with a mere glimpse of a frown.
No words can express the guilt dictatorship governing me
It’s not a cop out. I know right from wrong – I know this plea
Manipulations-sucked into the vortex
Epileptic fits, child crying for a place where dinosaurs indeed exist in the mix.
Buying time while losing our minds.
Insanity led me to insist this was the shortest cut to a state of perpetual eutrophic times
Heart attack — Jack missed his usual target in sundry extrapolation.
Too much — too much — afraid to not have enough-
once choice I have to have an abortion
…..or an abortion.
The value of life against a three digit number
is not worth the risk of another loosing sanity – Look at that temper!
Fuelled by selfish, ridiculous acts in percussive persuasion.
Sick of hurting the good ones in the pursuit for a place in time where we are not struck down by our own damnation.
Heightened emotions — rouged the face of her grace .
Head rendered poisoned by the one with the latex face
Queer sighs — teary eyed.
Worth all this anvil chorus shrieking out implacable aural instigation
The fear if a god had its grip on me – I would take the whip out on my vice with attempts of self flagellation.
my soul betrays all sense of balance –
5 years of drudgery for something that has less weight than a heart.
Lost in that maze of procrastination — buying time — throwing out another seasonal line.
Fear – it will run out-plans mystify my usual organised self — maturate until all evidence of ejaculation is collected by its DNA component to outsmart.
Happiness leads to an oasis dried up well —
See that camel over there?
she’s my final hope for a sip of redemption
Unusual for a vegan to murder an animal for a quench of innocence-how far I’ve fallen —
two points away from extinction
Madness runs forever in a contortion
Fucked if I know how to talk sense into a cross eyed mass of exhaustion.
Pillage me for I am running low.
All thought out plans left in the bloodied soulless bodies of Russia’s war in winter snow
Front line-I cower-there is no courage in the how I dished out my packable blow
Left in a quiver — screamed by the knock of confrontation at my door
I do. I do I do..
If not for myself but for the one who I look to
I observe it as one would in a zoo
Meaning to be dutiful
This reflection is the antithesis of beautiful.
How long can love last?
when the tokoloshe is cross examined for its denied attempt at buying its time
or trying to convince that biding echoes are indeed in the indefinite past.
Big day in the U.K.
Let’s sort out any confusion
I’m under no great illusion
that Corbyn is NOT the messiah to lead this island
to balmy weather.
Fair in the ideas he postulates.
Words that that resonate with humanities mantra of together.
Don’t expect a perfect world unless we all put in some labour
One man can speak for the many but the many must graft for the life they seek in ardour.
the many make changes – X marks your choice
It’s not over.This is but the start – it’s time to think outside of the box – continue to use your new found voice.
This is phase one of an arduous journey
We will lose if we don’t endure the marathon and have JC’s back when it all gets thorny.
Don’t lose faith
Keep your head looking to the above.
It’s not a one man job
It’s up to all of us to stand the test -stay the course
perhaps one day we will see a world blossom from our sacrifice to give it one love.
Today I vote labour.
If there was a chance GREEN would or could win this election, I would have voted for them
*photo credit Francesca Woodman*
the pen is indeed mightier than the sword- The weak will draw blood first.
Shame on who ?
for having an opinion,
Of the outrageous Manchester bombings.
Killing off innocent lives of younger generations.
Who truly wants to show who has global dominion?
Silent politician — the most deadliest opposition.
Spin a Democide on the innocents who make up the majority of our citizenship.
Corbyn speaks for young hearts with his Robin Hood mannerisms.
Noble enough to plant a feather in his cap.
The conservatives make a come back with hyper sensationalist plan-
What a way to react.
Theres a difference between responding to the people
and scaremongering those into a statement of hatred against immigrants
Western Tempers raised to look to the East for another insane bomber converted by the Quran.
A classic destabiliser move to keep the people less equal.
Social media doing her rounds — vicious terrorists — chuck the unorthodox bastards out.
Who funds the organised crime unit?
Who knocks another nail into societies faction,
sense of community to sustain a world clouded in doubt?
The injustice of this hypocrisy makes me want to fall to my knees.
Please, open your eyes-look ,
The bigger picture is not to look to a country living in a refugee crisis— riding it rough trying to traverse to safe shores on the tremulous seas.
No person in their right mind want’s to leave their own home.
What would you do to protect your family when you are staring at all your belongings obliterated into another political stitch?
Woven into the conditioned mind-fabricated lies — bursts of walmarts own clothes wash-Iron fist scented smokescreen.
A white wash to cover up the Theresa May in a niquab to bypass border control — look to true snitch.
Jumping from a sinking ship.
Is it not to enough to destabilise the economy?
Divide the minds of the people to instil a state of dichotomy.
Don’t buy into this cycle
Don’t let the Imperialists continue this barbaric rule.
Capitalise on the vulnerable they choose to keep less insightful.
Fundamentalist terror is home grown.
18-25 year olds orgasmic omnipotence can save the united kingdom.
not just this is England , with welsh sheep murmurs whispered across clouds seemingly made out of foam
Venerable private pensioners ,I respect your views
Wake up from this nightmare.
Giving up your unneeded winter fuel tax allowance isn’t helping to secure a strong future our children.
Let sinners repent . Let justice and humanity reign.
Have mercy on those who live in the world we are yet to share.
The stench of politics arrests my heart.
Don’t desensitise now
When death is imminent for your fresh start.
Elysium can exist in this world not just the next.
Look up by all means – It’s all generic text.
Look around and see the plight the innocents in this have to wage.
Stop this merciless hunt to cull young voices — remember the wisdom a child imparts with a mere smile.
They are truly the ones who are sage.
This is not a foreign terrotist ISIS attack
If it is-
It has been funded by the most conservative ,vicious Tory pack.
I think I am going to faint.
TMA 3 results back in for my Masters.
83% a high merit and incredible feedback.
TMA 1 62% (Script genre)
TMA 2 82% (Fiction genre)
TMA 3 83% ( Script genre)
Here is the 700 -ish word commentaryI submitted for my TMA 3 and the feedback.
I believed I couldn’t do this MA. I believed I was shit at writing but maybe…… with practice I can be a better writer and achieve great things.
Writing a book is less of a goal.
Using my words to change society -however insignificantly, is a goal of mine.
COMMENTARY TM3 Approaching script writing the Aristotelian way.
My challenge was to write a whole play in 18 minutes. I believe that there is too much exposition and would suit as a longer script. When I cut, or slowed certain dialogue-it’s original appeal became lost to a different type of play. The characters lost what made them unique. This is where I rely loosely on morality play techniques. This story could have started in many ways. I felt it best to reveal the turning point and the how and why’s at the end of the play. It is linear and has a beginning, middle and end reminiscent of Greek Tragedy plays.
I often use a stream of consciousness technique to get into a writing zone. For scene 1, I started typing on a blank page and let characters come to my head and speak whatever they wanted. This was how the first scene was produced. I was tempted to discard it until I received positive and constructive feedback on the TGF forum.
A possible subconscious influence for early drafts came from reading the chapter on David Edgars’ how to write a play, (chapter 2 page 17). In TMA 2, I focused on creating characters to reveal the plot and as exposition. Upon reflection, after reading the on-going debate about the primacy of plot versus characters, I think to an extent this true of, e.g., medieval genre morality plays.
Difficulties arose to make the characters more 3-dimensional when using archetypical/universal characters. I relied heavily on a strong plot to drive the narrative and the characters through to the conclusion of the script. TMA3- plot informed the characters and their motives.
Other influences came from conversations with my blogger acquaintance, Clarissa Simmens( Simmens C. 2017) who is from Roma gypsy descendant, and my own great -grandparent’s lineage who fled the Russian 1918 revolution to live a life in the slums of Paris. The setting and background gave the characters more complex motives and inner conflict. Panacea is an old woman who was left with her second sight and not accepted by society or her Nephew.
In this world, it seems society is lured by visual aids. Vladimir was more ready to accept Eve’s gift of soothing people’s problems because of how she appeared outwardly. Vladimir is complex, he was left with third-degree burns from the 1903 revolution, lost his parents, went to live with his “strange” grandmother.
Hopefully, a writer will get a true sense of Vladimir’s character by the end of the play. He did what he had to do to survive. He is human. Flawed. He didn’t stop and analyse whether he should save baby Eve in the Revolution; instinct took over. My inspiration for how he and Eve arrived in Paris (maintaining a high-status life during and after WW1) is taken from George Orwell’s book ‘Down and Out in Paris and London’ set in 1925. There is reference to espionage and a secret Russian society, whom, paid people to convert to communism after the war (Gutenberg.net.au. (2017).
The music in the piece serves as a device to vary the pace of the play. I hope that the melancholy moments of when Eve/ Panacea plays will give the audience a time to pause, or at the very least, vary or change the pace of emotion.
Genre: this play is not one type of play. I describe it as experimental, immersive drama with elements of morality play themes because, the characters do indeed impart the audience with a strong message.
Humans are complex. There is a clear theme of choices and consequences.
I don’t want to ignore any doubts about this piece: H.R. made constructive comments on the language and the exposition of the piece (refer to XX FEEDBACK (2017)). I hope that the timelessness of dialogue and language could very well take place in Paris, or indeed a modern society setting of today. My choice of setting reinforces to emphasise that these stereotypical characters still function inside time. Does Eve deserve her fate? Probably not.
Time has moved on, wars still occur yet society still seems to dwell on escapism i.e. Piano music metaphor to deal with life, dwelling on people who seem to have the illusion of the perfect life/ status. Society still struggles with acceptance of identity, race, ethnicity, mental health status etc. We’ve made advancements in technology/society but what about advancements in what type of human we should strive to be?
MY TUTORS FEEDBACK –I have kept her name anonymous for obvious reasons.
PT3Thank you for handing in TMA03.
This TMA accounts for 35% per cent of your continuous assessment mark for the module.
There are three parts to TMA 03:
a creative writing element;
extracts of peer review contributions.
Write a stage script ?18 minutes running time.
Write a radio script ?18 minutes running time.
Write a film script ?18 minutes running time.
Please state clearly on the first page which medium (stage, radio or film) you are writing for.
Your script can be either a stand-alone work, complete in itself, or it can be part of a longer play or film. If the latter, it should be structurally resolved (e.g. it might be a complete act from a larger piece; it should not finish mid-action or mid-scene). If providing a section, provide a summary of the larger project ? no more than 200 words ? situating the submitted section in relation to the larger work and offering some context. This summary will not be assessed in itself, and it won’t feature in the word or page counts.
Your script should not be an adaptation of work by another author or an adaptation of a piece of your own work which has been submitted for an earlier TMA.
This part constitutes 15% of this TMA?s grade.
Write a commentary (700 words) about the process of creating your work, the context in which it was developed, and your relevant further reading.
WHERE YOUR TMA SUCCEEDED
A Fair Wish World is powerful piece about loss, vision (actual sight and second sight), mental health and how war and conflict shapes or rather twists people. It’s full of big ideas and you work within a very imaginative immersive theatre setting. Also you have two people, one of whom has apparently saved the other, when it turns out that Vladimir is more reliant on Eve. History is full of unusually talented women who have surrendered their power to a man (Doris Day’s third husband was abusive and stole her money, Billie Holliday was permanently attracted to abusers). There’s a link here to the depressing litany of young women and their exploitative lovers, so this theme has a timeless resonance (although Vladimir isn’t a villain).
There is an interesting piece I’ve linked below here about Peter Brook (he’s 91!!) and his latest production – how stripped back and bare it is and how for example a single piece of cloth can represent several things, eg a piece of cloth is twisted into a snake at one point. This is, in my opinion, a true sense of live theatre, where the audience invests their imagination as opposed to being passive observers – as we are a bit with television. (Also it keeps costs down!) So your idea of the immersive, promenade production is a good idea as well as showing that you are using the medium of theatre as fully as you can.
All the characters resonate, but none more so than Panacea (I’ve got this image of Coco Chanel in my head) and Vladimir, the Russian aristocrat. Panacea because of her contrasting powers and down to earthiness but Vladimir because it was only a few years since the entire Russian imperial family, the Romanovs with their five children were murdered at Ekaterinburg in 1918. The British royal family offered mealy mouthed excuses for not offering them shelter but the real reason was they were afraid of a similar revolution in England, as I’m sure you know. I read the play a couple of times before I read the commentary, so I wasn’t pre informed. I really like the way that Eve can ‘see’ certain things and how when her sight returns, it becomes a curse. You may to have to indicate this quite strongly to the audience but it’s a bold and exciting idea.
CONSIDERATIONS FOR THE NEXT DRAFT
I have a few suggestions for the next draft (and I really hope you continue with this play). Firstly it would be to add some more movement to scene one it as it’s currently a little static. I’m wondering if Eve could get up from the piano and be doing something – getting dressed perhaps in her evening finery? Panacea could offer to help her lace her boots or maybe at some point she could loosen Eve’s corset so she can breathe or brush her hair? You could even have Eve trying to find things which have been placed among the audience – depending on whether you want the audience involved or not.
(I recently went to a promenade production of ‘Jane Eyre’ in a stately home. At one point, the actress playing Jane had placed the sketches she was going to show to Rochester on a piano and an audience member was leaning on the piano without realising. There was an awkward un-Bronte moment as Jane tried to yank the sketches from under the audience member’s elbow!)
Because Panacea comes across as a slightly mystical character who just shows up, I wonder if she could be slightly earthier, in contrast to Eve’s more romantic language. She does have some lovely moments such as her laughter over how useless mirrors are to her, but as much of the play is between her and Eve, and she is a magical creature, perhaps making her the more down to earth seeming would contrast more brightly with her supernatural gifts. See my L4 comment.
In the final scene there is quite a bit of explanation and it feels just a bit squashed. With maybe ten or fifteen minutes more you could find a way to blend in the back story a little more but I understand the difficulty of covering an entire play in eighteen minutes.
Overall, I think you’ve written a big, brave play, which tackles big subjects. It has flaws and needs some development but it’s part of your development as a writer that you take some risks, and personally, I don’t think you can really tell whether a play has legs until you’ve heard it spoken out loud by other people. But I’ve read it out loud and it packs a punch.
You’ve probably already heard of the London Playwrights Blog but if not, they publish opportunities every week. There’s no substitute for
In your commentary you discuss the process of writing the play, in comprehensive detail including the difficulties, and with references to course materials and a commendably large amount of outside reading.
As this is an MA, a high level of both analysis and presentation is required, and your presentation is fine here. It can be helpful when you are sick of the sight of your script/story to give it to a trusted friend or at least leave it a while to give yourself some space.
You don’t have to agree with course or outside materials, either, just show that you have reflected on the ideas within and show how they might have affected your own creative choices. It’s also helpful to explain briefly what you intend to reflect on – such as characterisation, structure and dialogue (maybe picking one area you feel confident in and another where you may feel less confident). Your tone is good, in that you are aware of your own style and what you are trying to achieve without adopting the I-have-achieved-a masterwork-and-now-I-will-reflect-on-aspects-of-its-awesomeness. Instead your tone is curious and questing and always willing to learn.
Thank you for the peer group references. You have always been very active on the forums. Also your references are very good.
I’ve given you a high merit for both the script, and the commentary, an overall high merit pass of 82% As mentioned, scene one is a little static, and the final scene has a slightly ‘expositiony’ feel, but these are very fixable. What I would suggest now for the script is to read out loud and perhaps workshop it as the most difficult bit is letting it out of your head and into the mouths and bodies of actors. You’ve done really well Tasha and taken risks with your writing. Well done.
If you have any questions please feel free to get in touch.
I can’t believe it’s Easter already. This will be the first Easter where me and my family don’t go and see my Gran in her care home. I’ve mixed feelings about this.
I don’t get to see my gran – 😦
I don’t have to go into a care home this year 🙂
credit to all the care workers out there who deserve a hike up on their wage. We should invest gratitude and time and resources to the people who look after the vulnerable people in society – in my opinion- of course.
We are all going to my Ma’s house on Sunday (family tradition). Gran will be in our thoughts.
How do other people celebrate Easter?
❤ Daisy xoxo
The challenge continues.
Today’s choice needs a hint of epicness.
Put on my poker face but I’m a current of emotions inside. ha ha!
Another reason I chose this is because,my uncle made a joke that my Gran looked like Don Corleone, at my wedding in June last year,in her wheelchair and wearing dark sunglasses.
Laugh, cry, live or die.
I’m putting on my armour – mere mortal that I am and,
for the next week preparing for battle with all things to do with organising a funeral for next Wednesday.
I remember standing in my gran’ s room for 9 hours -maybe more . My Ma is super religious and she was telling my Gran to go to the light- just walk to it. She was telling her that she was ready for her to leave.
‘Leave – I let you go’
I don’t know if I’m sick and twisted,I mean we all deal with grief in our own ways but, I had this occurring thought that-my Gran wanted to sit up and look at my Ma and in a demonic voice go:
” There is no fucking light. Give me water, feed me. I’m in pain – at the very least give me a dose of morphine, you inhumane bastards”
My ma kept on asking where my ( dead) Grandpa and Aunt were. Why they were taking so much time to collect Gran to take her to heaven.
Sarcasm got the best of me – I was thinking ‘who in their right mind would come back to this shit hole?’
If I went to a country and got food poisoning or a strange illness. I would not go back to that place because of my previous association with the place.
That is how long it took her to go.
Here is my biggest thought. It’s not pretty and it’s highly unsentimental.
I think; because my ma was ready to say goodbye that is why Gran is dead.
No, I’m not saying she killed her. There are many laws blurred with the assisted dying law. I am pro for it only, if it’s not dressed up as the blessing and will of a God.
I think if we had nursed her back to health -given her water, kept her in the hospital, fed her etc…
She would still be here.
She would still be the vacant shell of the woman she once was -living in a bed,24/7, surrounded by iconic pictures and statues of some white Jesus,who happened to be a shoddy carpenter but a damn good healer/shaman/ trickster – idk 😀 figure that out 😂
The doctor wouldn’t give her pain relief because she didn’t look like she was in pain.
She had vascular dementia and Alzheimer – her body couldn’t respond -neither could her mind.
Just because she was wasn’t thrashing about -making a nuisance of herself;
Does that mean she wasn’t in pain?
If It took me 72 hours of
no food, water, people looking at me crying, and me with a rosary bead around my neck, to hopefully, slip away
I can assure you – I would be in severe pain – if not physically, then most certainly mentally.
I choose the battles to fight.
It doesn’t matter what I believe because the fact is: she is not here.
My own beliefs or even my daughter’s theory that she is ‘ hopping from one aeroplane to the next travelling the world ‘ or whatever.
It’s a comfort to me that I can’t see her in that care home -wasting away.
I don’t know what possessed me to do it!
I’m analytical and an observer -It was about 10 pm on Saturday night. We were all tired. Gran was awake- not dying ….. ( if this comes across as disrepectful – please bear in mind,I have my own beliefs about religion and dignity in dying)
My Ma had fallen asleep on the cushion part of the bed, my gran was lying in her bed and, hanging on the wall in the background, was a picture of his lord’s son , most merciful saviour.
I have the picture on my phone.
It ‘s a picture that shows that humans suffer. God’s don’t move from their paintings and show mercy.
if that were true there would be NO suffering in the world.
The picture shows a dutiful daughter , exhausted and full of love, refusing to let her mother die alone and scared,
watching over them is some picture of the son of a God doing- fuck all.
I won’t put this picture on here out of respect for my family.
It is an image that clearly expresses my inner conflict about my love and duty towards my family and my own beliefs about life and beyond…..
I particularly like my daughters belief that my Gran is rocking it on Jupiter.
That is where I would go – screw heaven!
They’ve denied entry for this amount of time. Sure they can hang on for a bit longer.
I’m going travelling . I don’t need money.
The challenge is not only a blog challenge but it’s about challenging myself to move forwards
Today is all about:
choosing make up for my gran to wear – she’s being cremated( she wanted to be buried), choosing flowers, travelling around the country side picking up various legal documents with my gran’s social security number and evidence that she is dead.
My gran has been treat by the government with more respect now she is dead,than when she was alive.
I sound angry , bitter.
I’m not. I’m glad she’s not suffering.
I hate hypocrisy and injustice and I speak my mind often, especially when I care about something or someone.
I fell out with my tutor about my TMA 1 script because of our different perspectives on the homelessness crisis.
Come on ,
This is my character.
I will be 40 years old in 4 years time. I’m set in my ways just like jelly. :D😁😁😁😁🤔🤔
I can learn new tricks if tempted 😉
I tag the music challenge to other characters (bloggers)
In my defence,
I know I speak my mind and heart.
It’s not always appropriate but I do mean well. I love fiercely. I am there for my mother until her last breathe. I have her back. I will lay my life down for her. Many times I’ve manned up and apologised (to people)if I went overboard and said let’s agree to disagree.
That’s fucking dramatic – ha ha!…. let’s do this!
Reminiscent of an uprising of crickets ready to battle
Stare at a puffed updiamond heart
Drumming inside an empty cage. Birds ripped apart.
Gargoyle stares ignored.
Folk bumble about unaware what is in store for us all- eventually.
The breathe of hades
Lingers then makes a dash for scant flesh and bones.
Meat is not this gods instrument. Lust causes call for more drones
Sponge, moisten parched parted lips
Raven signals the ire of its whips
The ones who don’t loose it in bedlam excite
Invites all loved ones to rally round
Stands by door. Stands back.Admires its ownpower.
A moment to savour for a while more.
Every door closed, each breath cloys
Begs for enough fare to cross the distance to embrace elysium air.
Today everyone shall know how close we are to parting from brown soil
Lamb,hatched chickens,babies born in Cumbersome air.
the cycle must complete before we can emerge reborn
Death is inevitable as necessary as life is to the Cumbaya
of springs first show of petal.
When you look at the beginning of this new dawn
Know that when you stand back in awe
It is because you have felt the chill of winters soul depart
Shed a tear for the snowman who brought our youth so much joy.
Appreciate death. Stare it in the face
The sun chants
count in rosary beads
tomorrow never dies.
Trying to type something while listening and watching my grandmother dying.
I support the assisted dying law. This is inhumane.
A selfish farce.
Happy mothers day
Wherever you go
Wherever you roam
I hope that it is a place as magnificent as earths revellers make it out to be
Ma petition fripon. J’taime xxxx