Thank you for making me smile.

“You would think that getting  married  to a fine man in three weeks time , a beautiful funny ,smart 4 year old daughter, a loving family and a lady with a lot going for her, could never be labelled or be entitled to feeling Depressed or stressed or Anxious-  This is not how Mental Health issues work. I try and over come my own illness symptoms by using healthy coping mechanisms. If you are going to give advice -don’t tell a person to shake themselves off. If you want to help -be productive and be smart and help with advising on healthy ways to cope” DAISY

I’ve tried pretty much all my coping skills to get me out of this slump. I won’t give up. I exercised my way out of a panic attack yesterday. Yes, I am meds but it takes time to kick in. I am not great with being patient.

I look at my daughter for strength, I try distraction techniques- these work for a time but the weight of these feelings come back and so every day  I put on my armour. Chant my mantra’s and enter the arena -ready for  another battle.

Each day- I don’t give in , I know that I am on my way to winning. I’m disciplining my mind. I am not giving up on  Hope.

 

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My first quote for the three day quote challenge nominated by

The darkest fairytale-Rhymes that still exist from the reality of dark fairytales never told…. – I love her quote on her about page. I’m using it as my second.

“Poems can’t judge you for healing wrong but a therapist could.”

The darkest fairytale

My final quote:

“If you always look downwards you will always see a pavement of despair. If you lift your head up and always look around you and to the sky you will always have many directions to lead a life of every imaginable feeling that is indeed the skies limit “ DAISY

Today I am accepting all the Amaze-balls awards I have received of late.

I am doing everything in my power to shift this tug in my heart and this stake of sorrow that hits the spot and lands on point like the most graceful, macabre  Ballerina in all of Mine  kingdom.

Nominees  ( chosen for how they command emotion and the written word- I love their style of writing)

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UNIQUELOVEHARMONEY

MiracleWings-Brave the darkness

THANK YOU FOR THE CHALLENGE.  The person who  inspired me to write my own quotes is  Jaqueline at a cooking pot and twistedtales Thoughts and Tales Etc..A Lifestyle Blog with a Zing» 

 

THANK YOU B.G. from GETTING THROUGH ANXIETY -A step by step process using practice   for :

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Ouch, bee sting! What book did you find disappointing?

I was highly disappointed in ‘The Beautiful and Damned’
A Classic Novel by F. Scott Fitzgerald. I hated every single character and it made me re think my obsession with wanting to live  the ‘Roaring twenties’ era . 

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It’s finally warm outside! What book made you want to read more than ever before?

So, I don’t really do reading outside. I get too distracted by the nature. I really enjoyed George Orwells ‘1984’ and I was hooked on the Y.A. novels ‘ The originals’ 

 

Shh! I’m getting a tan! What book did you find relaxing?

I don’t tend to read ‘relaxing books’  erm.. I suppose the last book I read that didn’t require too much thought was’ The Paris Wife’
Novel by Paula McLain. I found  and loved the depth to the characters and the reference to all the revolutionary readers and artistes that scrambled to Paris after World War one to make some sense of this new  world-post war. A surprisingly great read. 

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Beach party! What book did you just find fun to read?

Again another classic. ‘ To kill a mockingbird’ by Harper  Lee- the language  used is just like taking a trip to another time. There are heavy themes addressed in the book but I love that the book is taken mostly from a child’s point of view. I loved that I was able to smile even in a book that addresses such heavy themes such a racism.

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 Cannonball!! What book did you find surprising?

‘ I Am Pilgrim’
Novel by Terry Hayes – This book was written for my inner detective. So cleverly put together. So many twists and turns. I could NEVER have predicted the ending. A terrifying book because it could so easily happen in the world we live in. 

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Mowing the lawn. What book did you find tedious?

I think that Sylvia Plath’s Bell Jar’ does not live up to the hype. She is a fabulous poet and writer but the ‘Bell Jar’ left me  cold. I know it is probably one book I should relate most too – dealing with themes such as Mental illness but the hype around the book didn’t leave me with all I expected. Yes, I guess people surmise she was writing about her own Mental health issues and I find that to be the only interesting part of the book. It may be autobiographical.   It is not an awful book -just not epic -in my humble opinion.

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So many beautiful flowers! What’s the most recent book you’re happy you picked to buy?

So far ,the one I am reading. ‘The Storm sister’ by Lucinda Riley. So far it has me hooked not to the point I can’t put it down but their is mystery, romance and  a look into the mind of a protagonist with a character  so unlike myself. 

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TAG YOU ARE IT!

THE MINDFUL BITCH -FINDING PRESENCE BETWEEN MOMENTS OF SELF-IMPROVEMENT AND SELF-DESTRUCTION

The Beauty of Words- Mastering social media, writing, and editing

SIMPLY ETTA D. -Inspiration for the Heart, Soul and Mind

toofullltowrite- I’ve started so I will finish

Anna-Life As A Bipolar Artist A place for venting, explaining, and maybe learning something

Laura- Hundred and Counting Every day is a writing day

 

THANK YOU TO Morgan- SIMPLY ETTA D. -Inspiration for the Heart, Mind and Soul

 

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This is one of the reasons I love Etta’s Blog.

“I’ve learned from my mistakes, but I have no regrets. I use to regret my past wishing that I could go back and change it. But realised that it’s our past that has brought us to the point we are now in our lives; and changing anything in the past, changes everything in our present. With all it’s up and downs I wouldn’t wish give up anything that I have now. My faith gives me strength, my family keeps me grounded, my appetite for adventure keeps me going, and my heart makes me the woman that I am!”

ETTA D. (pen name)

SEVEN FACTS ABOUT ME

  1. Daisy Willows unfortunately is not my real name. I wish it were.  It is my pseudonym .  

  2. I am not sure whether to tell you my real name or not. 

  3. I am complicated. 

  4. I wing it and tend to make it. 

  5. I wear my heart on my sleeve

  6. I have always been a rule breaker.

  7. I’m in love.

MY FIVE NOMINATED LOVELIES

EDDAZRelationships, Love, Lifestyle

teleportingweena ~wandering through life in my time machine…you never know where it will stop next

The Daddy Blitz- Blogging about Family, Religion and Politics

spiritualjourney17 INSPIRATIONAL, MOTIVATIONAL AND A JOURNEY OF SELF-DISCOVERY

LINDA G. HILLLife in progress

I-was-nominated-for-the-liebster-award

Finally a re- nomination froI SING THE BODY ELECTRIC-Refusing to let my past define my future- An abuse survivor specialising in female balls and badassery!

B.E.’s Blog captured in Music. She is a rule breaker. I think I have found my cosmic twin. We must never get together and discuss.. we may just start a revolution. Ha! Ha!

  CLICK HERE TO OPEN A NEW TAB AND LISTEN

11 FACTS ABOUT DAISY (ME)

  1. I have a BA (hons) in the Arts and humanities – majored in ‘Advanced creative writing’ and ‘Myth in the Greek and Roman Worlds’

  2. I have lived in three continents – Africa- Europe and Americas

  3. I volunteer with Mental health charities.

  4. I have a foundation degree in Acting performance

  5. My cousin made me audition for the X  factor because she didn’t want to do it alone. I can’t sing at all.

  6. I think I am an introvert but I come to life in groups.

  7. People say I am witty and funny. 

  8. I love to dance

  9. my wedding is in three weeks time

  10. Music stirs my soul

  11. my real name is Natasha Sonia Bodley

I’m going to answer questions I would love others to ask me.  If you want to answer B.E.’s- The Body is Electric Blog questions instead click HERE 

  1. If You Could Live In A Book, TV Show Or Movie, What Would It Be?

I would love to live in the ‘Originals’ series . The Michealson family  are the epitome of cool of all the supernatural creatures. 

2. Where Do You See Yourself In Five Years?

Still married to the same dude, one or two more kids, a play wright and working in the community creatively with people with mental Health issues and getting paid to do it. 

3. If You Could Live Forever, How Would You Spend Eternity?

I would research every illness  to find a cure and I would also find the answer and fight for climate change. I would also get to watch my daughter and other kids and my grand children live. I would also visit all the libraries around the world and travel and eat good food.

4.In What Ways Do You Hold Yourself Back?

I am way too hard on myself. I think people think the worst of me.

5.What Was Your Dream Job Growing Up?

I wanted to to a criminal Psychologist and a Criminal lawyer.

6.If You Could Change One Law, What Would It Be?

I don’t do drugs any more but I still  would legalise all drugs. Crime would fall , the black market would not be as powerful and un controllable as it is and people would get the correct treatment. Less wars too and less lives lost.

7.What’s Your Greatest Achievement And How Has It Shaped You?

Everyday I push myself, is my Greatest achievement. Every day I make it to the end of the day and have done something I consider important and a goal achieved is my Greatest achievement. Each challenge I put in my way, shapes my character and gives me the courage to push myself in other ways. It  gives me inner confidence.

8.If You Could Master One Skill You Don’t Have Right Now, What Would It Be?

I wish I hadn’t stopped learning how to play the piano. I love the piano and I love the violin too. I would love to be an Orchestra conductor . I feel music and it looks like a pretty cool position to be. 

9. How Would Your Best Friends Describe You?

Honest, empathetic,strong willed, loving, witty and a pain in the ass. 

10.What Is “Home” To You?

Home is where I can see and smell the ocean. 

11. What Motivates You To Succeed?

Knowledge is power. 

NOMINEES OF BLOGGERS I WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT. 

CyberneticBlonde- Be kind to yourself 🌻

Life As A Bipolar Artist A place for venting, explaining, and maybe learning something. (Sorry Anna -double award nominations)

THE PERPETUAL CAMPERS CALLING IT HOME -Stacy

Fiction is Food- G. Jeffries

Insights From A Bipolar Bear

INKYFIRE INK OF LOVE IN FIRE – DESIGN IS MY DESIRE

UNBOLT

BABS! @Autumn Ambles Pursuing my Wandering Ways With Words….Thoughts and Reflections!

Pride in Madness

LYNNE’S RECIPE TRAILS Delicious Foods and Tasty Indulgences

 

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S= Scary monster

S

I’m that monster tonight.

Hate arguing with people. Hate delays and just not getting what I want done..

I really need to engage my brain before I speak at times. I just get so damn fucked off when it’s always ………..

I don’ even want to write.

The scary monster is a  flower and  is me.

I know for a fact I can’t get any enjoyment out of reading blogs or blogging in an irate  pissed off mood.

It”s Friday.  Wahey!  slight sarcasm. I hate this side to me.

Face down in the palm of my hands , giving my head  a shake…

 

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!

All the monster wants to do is cuss and curse and vilify.

Writing will serve no further purpose but to  feast the beast – all it screams is

“FEED ME SEYMOUR  DAISY , FEED ME” –  -( epic 80’s film.btw)

I think I would  manage my emotions better if I had a better sound track to go with it.

NO wait an entire musical cast!

 Going to lose myself in a book and may watch that Nina Simone doc on Netflix.

I’m pissed off, tired and

I’m sorry but the last thing I want to do is rant on and on and on . I want to say Goodnight Vienna and come back with  flower power in most likely more than an hour.

So for now -Good night – have an epic evening -see you on the other side of this mood of mine.

Bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeergh!

Please donate generously to help in the appeal to eradicate this creature – stop giving him a chance to  feature.

Pro scary monster extinction donations are being taken now.

Letter M reveals a true cool story

M

I’m on the letter  M . I think I skipped  couple of letters.

Today is super light hearted. I have a story about monkeys and my once upon a time ago- relationship with them.

I grew up in Africa. Monkeys were like naughty pets and  thieves.

One morning. I’m chilling watching cartoon network. I still remember what I as watching – Johnny Bravo .

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 I had the sliding door open and I hear some movement behind the sofa. I turn around and there is an entire family of monkeys on the dining room table trying to steal our fruit out of our fruit bowl!

 

I screamed for my Ma. She came down and shooed them away with a broom stick.  Speaking of broomsticks I also have stories about snakes but let’s take it easy.

One story at a time .  Calm down Daisy...

My most frustrating story with monkeys goes like this

It is no secret I was a drug addict from the age of 12/13 years old.

It get’s hot in Africa and in those days keeping every window and door open was normal.

I went to have a bath or some thing and when I came back into my bedroom ready  to smoke a spliff.

No ganga.

No ready made spliff.

I DON’T NEED TO DRAW THIS OUT

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The freaking monkeys came into my bedroom and stole all of  my weed and my pre made joint. I looked out the window watching them run away.

To add further insult they didn’t even smoke the shit -they just sniffed it ,handled it and threw it on the ground.

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My Ma thought this was hilarious. She didn’t like me taking drugs.

Bit of a no brainer..

I did not see the funny side that day.

I do have a lot of heavier stuff I want to say about monkeys being used in research experiments but I haven’t got the time today  to give it my full attention and awareness it deserves

So this is my blogging A-Z challenge for today.

Hope you enjoyed it.

Sadly the place I was born, is now an metropolis of hotels and business developments that have driven the monkeys from their natural habitat.

But that is another topic  for another time

Wish me luck.

My final facilitating support groups training day with Healthy minds.  It has been challenging and a huge commitment but it has been totally worth it.

 

 

A very happy 365 days unbirthday to me

“All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much.”  George Harrison

WHY I HAVE CHOSEN THIS QUOTE

To be my natural 1oo% transparent self. I do promise too much. I demand too much of myself. I get bummed out if I don’t do everything I set out in my head to achieve for the day.    . #FollowGreatFootsteps

Sound familiar?

Take yesterday as a fine example,

I’m up at 5 a.m. going through my emails , comments, start finding inspiration for the blog/s I want to write for the day. My hubby makes me a coffee every morning. I think he has a similar condition to people who have been kidknapped by weirdos annd develop  Stockholm syndrome, except  in our house it is called

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He is a bit of a super star when it comes to little small gestures. My Bella Bee and and other non human child usually come bounding  into my bed at about 6-7 am.

Cuddle time and I have to listen to the diatribe of events that occurred in my daughters dream. Along with say the 5 or 6 other things that come out of her mouth which can seem like such a perfect and nonsensical thing at the same time.

She is the, Martin Luther King , of her generation

“Mamma?” 

“Yes, dear…”

” I have a dream……..”

I usually then do any challenges or whatever blogs I need to.  I then get ready for a good blog  catch up.

I’ve realised that saying yes to everything means I’m fucking knackered when I get home. I love volunteering. I had a blast at the training yesterday. It was intense( 10- 4 pm. )

We did a lot of practising how to facilitate in a support group group. I never realised how hard it is to hold the space, let the group lead and support each other, speak as little as possible , make sure the support group sticks to boundaries and their ground rules, time keeping and choosing what to disclose about myself.

We did a lot of ‘what you would do if? ‘ scenarios- where we were timed 30 seconds  to come up with an answer.

My head was blagged and  ready to implode by 3: 30 pm.

On the way home. Thoughts of going to put the heating on  and put my feet up, eat and chill enter my mind. It’s cloudy, raining and cold….. I’m going home to chill…

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erm, we are talking about me -Daisy.

I have a massive gym session to do.

There is no time to pause.

I’m at it like a boss.

Throwing my punches and my best  kick boxing moves  to the imaginary prick/opponent I am  uppper ‘hooking’and jabbing and crushing with my  awesome knee jump -like a ninjaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

I wish it were this easy

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These imaginary opponents   can take  on a human form or an animated form of

oh let me think now….

TALKING SCALES!

So hard core session is complete.

Steam is eking out of my pores.

I have a moment of panic that I might be one of those rare individuals you read about,in some obscure magazine,, who just spontaneously combust into flames.

I can see the headline:

‘Girl works out – with epic awesomeness and bursts into flames and then she arises from the ashes like a phoenix bird because she is awesome like that’

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I decide that I’m being overly dramatic and then smell myself and think a quiet bath with a  face mask and a hair mask will be the Dogs bollocks- the best way to treat myself.

Erm……………………… I have a four year old who wants me to play princess Jasmine, Elsa, Raja and whoever else she can think of -all at the same time . Remember

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… AND THAT IS WHY I AM SENDING MY LITTLE BELLA BEE TO AN ASYLUM BEFORE SHE DRIVE ME CRAZY TOO.  

Ooh and don’t forget she wants to help clean me.

Aaaaah how sweet.

More like, please piss off and give me time to myself. 😀 .

The last of the  bath  water remnants  swill down the plug hole and I look down at my hands –

shiiiiiiiiiiiiit , my nails are in a state .

I’m also thinking the blue colour totally out- rocks the orange I have on them.

 I then have to simultaneously dry hair an nails at the same time.

To say  I’m slightly talented is well a bit modest 😉 Ha ha!

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WHAT CAN I SAY 😉

Ooooh. Tummy starts growling.

MUST.

GET.

FOOD. – THE MISSION BECOMES DAISY GET FOOD NOW OR I WILL TURN ON YOU AND EAT YOUR BODY ORGANS.

I’ve got way too much living and things to do for that to happen.

Get sat down in bed and I think of all the promises I made to catch up with y’all.

Before I can get any kind of decision made in my head.

It’s story time and it is not my turn to read 😦 very sad face- because Bella Bee’s reading can take  what seems a very long time.

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I then get all sparked  up with my laptop fired up, I’m  under the duvets ready to enter the blogospheare. Cue – Epic music.

 

 

I must say these clean sheets are mighty comfy – only 7 pm .If I just close my eyes for a sec….

“Daisy wake up ,take your meds and brush your teeth it is half ten ” 

Yes my other half does say this to me.

My mind is scrambled. I have a bloody bloggging z-z challenge to do and I have to read over 200 posts of the people I follow.

No I am not going to cheat myself and just like them.

I am going to read every. single. one. Comment on every single one.

Two a.m. and I finally can hit the pillow almost guilt free:

I didn’t do my blog challenge

or my gratitude surprise challenge for my readers and peer followers

useless, take yourself out with the trash incompetent being.  

My thoughts are retired drill instructors. they paid a membership to lease out my mind and now that won’t fuck off  -pardon my sewerage mouth talk.

It is now 5:50 am and I am going to edit and polish off this post and hit the publish button -blast it into the blogoshphere.

Today I can imagine the set up being  similar.

I will not give up.

 

Can I just say coffee is a truly my best friend. None of the crap shit.

I mean proper coffee made from some little village in Columbia with it’s fair trade stamp on.

So, I’m a greedy  Bee with an itch ( bitch) . I want big slices of the cake. Hell, I want all the cake.

Sharing is something my four year old daughter has to do. This does  not  apply to me. I am an adult.

Okay, luckily my days are not always so full on – my mental health is important and it should be  for everyone.

This is not a long term solution to living for me. I have committed myself to various projects and (coughs) a wedding and all that. Nothing major….

Look just take care of yourselves, please. We all live busy lives and have our shit to deal with but be kind to yourself. 🙂

Happy mid week!

Want to  be a part #FollowGreatFootsteps?  You can do it! I will review your blog:) -check out the link above. It”s easy peasy.

 

 

Catch up with you later

Mini Daisy update

bit of a hectic week this week.  I will probably only be able to catch up with your blogs 8 pm ish time U.K. time

I haven’t given up on the  Blogging challenge a-z . I will finally get a round to posting my monkey theme at some point this evening. It will be a

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I’m buzzing and really looking forward to a long day of co -facilitator training with Healthy minds.

EPIC NEW ALERT!

My uncle hasn’t got  Cancer. It’s been a tense few weeks

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My other uncle is living up to his reputation for being the biggest wanker in the world. Not all things can change, right?

 Wedding hair trial went well yesterday. Here’s a pic.

 

It looks bit messy but it will look the shizzle on my wedding day -with a bit of bling added to it.

LONG HAIR -LOVE FAKE EXTENSIONS!

Hope you all have an awesome day.

I have a big surprise for you guys and gals soon.

I want express my gratitude  and how blessed I am to be healthy, wealthy -not in the money sense.

I have got it all going on and now is the time to use it.

 There is a saying something like

You will never  look and be the way you are today -EVER again.

Think about it….. It makes sense . You know it does!

Holy shit!  I want to thank my new followers. I have a great idea to thank you all personally. So watch this space.

Watch it.

Watch it.

okay, you can go now ha ha!

I’m kind of over whelmed by the support I receive from all of you.  It’s been 7 months of pure pleasure.

Because-Im-Happy-Meme-16

WORD  PRESS 353?  THIS IS MENTAL!

TWITTER 91

FACEBOOK 71

I feel mega guilty for just putting you down as numbers so I have a surprise to humanise you. You are  all fucking brilliant.

Have an epic day and will catch up with you tonight

namaste

I’m out of here.

 

 

#FollowGreatFootsteps with Curious Queendom

Sharon Yvonne blog author of CURIOUS QUEENDOM  has an awesome quote on  FEAR and is indeed following those who  #F0llowGreatFootsteps

Sharon describes herself as insecure. Something I think we can all relate to at some point in our lives. She started blogging because it is her dream career and also to find herself.

What you see is what you get. She’s going to take you on a journey with her to be her own super hero.

Who wants a super hero when you can be one?

Exactly!

She has a fighting spirit and a wicked sense of humour. It may be wise to bring a spare pair of shoes when you visit. You will only found out why when you visit her BLOG

If you are serious about  blogging and want to make a career out of it. This is your go to lady- FIRST THREE THINGS WHEN STARTING A NEW BUSINESS

She get’s all the cool  awards.

She has a mixed spice of topics. There is something for everyone.

Self help

Motivation

Monday meme

Lessons learned

Notable blogs (she is a giver)

Her own personal goals 

life 

and everything that comes with it.

 

Mr fox- ‘how to out fox him’ -translated by Mr Fox

F

Ever heard of the possibly real/fictional, character  of the ancient Greek, Aesop and his  fables ?

What about his various stories cementing our view on how we have come to see the fox?

Heard of these expression?

“Look before you leap.”—From “The Fox and the Goat”

“Revenge is a Two-Edged Sword.”—From “The Farmer and the Fox”

To take the “lion’s share.” -From  “The Lion, the Fox, and the Ass”

To have “sour grapes”—From “The Fox and the Grapes”

All these fables allude  to the fox being cunning and sly and able to outwit his opponents. This doesn’t really help our fellow earthling friend to be accepted in the human  community.

There is a huge misconception  that foxes are seen as threatening to people and their live stock.

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Have you ever stopped and paused and thought why are they coming and stealing my chicken or rummaging through my bin?

Could it be because business developers- humans are wanting to build a casino, or a shopping mall -some thing more people orientated  because  folk spend money and make business people money?  Let us acknowledge the fact

When was the last time you saw a fox or any animal walking around with a visa card and some spare change?

dbd

Exactly!

Oh wait, I’m such a fool. The only time animals like the fox are seen as carrying huge wads of $$$$$$$$’s and £££££££££’s is when they are wearing their money.

thinkingfoxmeme

Okay, I get it I can be a bit of a nuisance but there are ways we can deal with the problem without resorting to killing me.

HOW DAISY?

Good question.

COMMON CONCERNS ABOUT  ME : MR FOXY

  1. I am seen by a human in he day time. oh the horror!  I am ready to maul you .

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“I’m shit scared of you humans, I am. Why do you think I run away from you.  I can assure you I  don’t understand guilt and I am not personally targeting you. I’m hungry.”

” Y’alll know your mate Archie that lives at farm 15? Well he has only been breeding some of my mates and you humans can be pretty chilled at times. I don’t w’sup wit y’all but I’m getting contradictory feelings here, Archie feeds me why won’t you ?”  ( Daisy Disclaimer: I have no idea why Mr fox talks like he is from the ghetto)

 

HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS:

Get a spray bottle of water and aim it (not the whole bottle) at me. Yell or whistle. I will run off.

” Let me give you a heads up , human” 

  1. I may only a danger when I have rabies. Wait.I will get to that..

  2. I only want to eat small things like chickens, guinea pigs and rabbits.. If you have a pet make sure it is well protected  in a sturdy hutch.

  3. I like to get my five a day. I will eat any fruit but don’t give me vegetables – just something sweet would be just swell.

  4. See that Garbage bag split or can tipped on its side. It wasn’t me this time this time . It was Bruno the dog and the the cats choir sorority   sisters who did it.  I’m making sure they have left something for me to chow down – I got the munchies.

  5. If you see me strutting across your lawn or whatever I may be trying to get from a-b . My food is on the other side of where I live so I need to pass your house. That’s all. Nothing shady happening here.

Meryl-Streep-Plans-Something-Mischievously

NOW THIS ONE – LOOKS LIKE ONE SHADY BITCH.

FOX DENS UNDER YOUR PORCH.

“Okay, my missus is pregnant. She is about to drop any day now and we are going to be proud parents. Thanks for the congratulations. Look human would you consider if we could stay here just to protect our children until we start teaching them how to do a few moves to help them in the wild?” 

“How long?”  

“Nine weeks is all I ask and then you can move us along

The answer is no – from the human.

” Fair do’s I’m mildly disappointed but if you want us to go sooner here are ways you can get rid of me.” 

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OH, OKAY THEN, ITS LIKE THAT…..

  1. Get your pongiest shoes, or get your cat to piss on an old jumper of yours and place it by my den

  2. Go down to your local health shop. Get something non toxic like Capsicum and leave that by my den

  3. I’m living under your porch. Okay, get one of these and I won’t be able too make a crib here. – want to know how you can do it -click HERE

  4. Dog repellent stuff works on us too

  5. We may not look it but we are easily freaked out by noises

” You have few  a choices on scaring us. You can go all technological and install one of the noise making devices, get a a sprinkler installed or you if you are on a budget whip out an old pan/ pot and bang on it loudly- shouting noise works too.”

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WORRIED ABOUT YOUR PET?

” I’m not gonna lie- chicken tastes mighty good but here is what you can do to protect your named animal. ” 

  1. I don’t really care about Mog your cat -I may be interested in her new precious litter of kittens. Just keep your cats safe. Away from the traffic, outside. Pets are meant to live in doors especially newborns.

  2. I’m only gonna have a  scuffle with Ooboo the dog .If I have a litter of babies not far from here so -if I attack Ooboo it is because I am protecting my babies. Small pets  and other dogs shouldn’t be left outside for long periods without being monitored ,they could be like, dog napped or harassed. There are far more dangerous predators out there than little old me.

  3. Why not keep your rabbits and other small pets in doors. Don’t leave them outside at night. That kind of defies the object of having a pet, dont’ you think?

  4. Keep your chickens in a safe hatched pen. Big enough and safe enough to keep me , dogs and possibly raccoons from killing your chickens.

OR

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GIVE ME A NAME AND I CAN BE A GOOD PET! 

 

“Oh fuck. I’ve lost it. I’ve bitten your pet and I’m slightly freaking out, wtf?” 

RABIES AND MANGE IN FOXES

“Can I just say it is rare that we get rabies. So here’s what you can do if it ever happens”

  1. Get your pet vaccinated. You should do this anyway if I am a problem or not. There are loads of germs hanging around for your pets to get sick

  2. Before reporting there is a wild ,uncontrollable fox going ape shit. Take a deep breathe and observe my behaviour

  • I look like I need a wheelchair. I can’t move my parts of my body

  • I’m staggering about like some drunk thang

  • I’m harming myself. Biting myself. I look like I want to do serious damage to myself.

  • I’m all up in your face- Aggressive for what appears to be no reason you have sussed out.

  • I could also look way too tame

” Don’t come near me. Rabies is passed on my saliva- get your mobile out and ring you local animal control agency, the police or your health department “

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MANGE

  1. Is not rabies.

  2. It attacks my skin/fur and I start losing my fur. I itch so bad it’s like a human form of eczema, I may get so itchy I chew at my tail and clumps of my fur out. I  then get cold so I try to find a warm place to suffer. if you see me looking like I am about to  die call  your local animal control agency or a vet.I can be treated and get better.