Janus of global slang

Inspired by lyrics – it’s not exactly physics.

Big boy –

little boy – atomic bomb decoy don’t come across as coy.

Paranoia looming over -like a shadow with no owner.

Scented thoughts hanging outside on the line of laundry –  drying out, pegged up,

  sketchy – out of the ordinary.

The demise of senseless beatings – the savage frolic in secret meetings.

Can’t keep my eyes open – Mind is wired to sense alert token.

Add a word to the vocabulary list. Reading made up stories can’t get the gist.

Thinking of all the times I’ve reinvented my speech

just so folk wouldn’t turn away

mistake me for a blast of mist.

Solar plexus, libra – balances my ails,

 if vaccines worked would I even need this skeleton tail?

I’m proficient in scripted fulminate – A non- believer has to have a reason to detonate.

Terrorized by bones on hinges, pelvic oddities, a face grappling on the fringes.

Uncertainly – you can do it! Mascot duty – you blew it.

Evey day the output becomes more – input audios in a  fervescent roar.

Fading into a numb place slowed down by brain freeze swimming in a shoal  – no empty dregs to fill my soul.

Restricted by my own limitation – Hear me when  I say I’m not doing this for inspiration.

What to do in a world knocked into  askew?

Nondescript, blinkered – all-seeing eyes – know when to usher in the seasonal yule.

nonsense, no sense, prop me up – inhale oxygen and don’t give up.

Against my better judgment – I’m imploding from the inside.

I had it all figured out until I became a seeker in need of washed out make -overs from dead flotsam at low tide.

*Inspired by internal conflict and the world.* 😀 

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I want to know the reason why

I should be working but I have a lot going on in my head. One of those things is the chorus to this song:

Everybody’s gotta live,  and everybody’s gonna die  

Everybody’s gotta live before you know the reason why…..

It’s an upbeat song. It’s a song that makes me think about all the times I want to hide under my bed and not be noticed, it is a song plays out an inner conflict between my fears and my dreams.

It is a song that helps me keep on at my dreams by turning them into goals.

It’s scary for me to commit to anything. I am the person who when I say – Yes. That is it. There is no turning back.

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GET YOUR ASS BACK IN THE LIFE GAME.

Hell might raise the roof off  my mind but I will work through the pain. I do it by doing everything  that screams:

 But I don’t wanna………

I think:

Daisy, how can you seriously think you can help people learn to manage their own lives and issues when I am a walking calamity on automatic?  

Well, that’s the thing.

These days, I may have more knowledge and skills of how to manage my problems and thoughts and feelings.

Does that mean I am suddenly cured?

Perfect?

Hell, no!

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This is the thought equivalent to the sleazy pickup line, I don’t need to hear in my own mind.

I do have a system in place that helps me manage stressful times, my illness, me.

Why can’t I be accessing things I know make me well before the government says you are dying – now we will admit you to a hospital?

No, I know how to stay out of the hospital – I know how to be as healthy as I can be when it gets a bit rough.

 I reach out.

There are a bunch of people who I will be working with for the next 14 weeks and I may have some uncomfortable moments.

If I am maintaining my health with support and need to drink a nutritional shake to get the energy I need to carry out what I want to do, people need to accept that and challenge their own ideas about Mental and Physical wellbeing.

Just because I am not 100% healthy ( I don’t think I have ever been 100% healthy or will be) doesn’t mean I have to hide away from the world and be ashamed.

My illness is not me. It is a part of me and because I have a Wellness Recovery Action Plan of my own, I know how to recognize when I am well, not so well, falling off the wagon, or possibly need support to pick me up.

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I have a plan. I know people get ill and people get well.

Do I think I can pull this MA off?    I’m half way there.

I had a mini meltdown last night because my tutor won’t engage with me in the forum (especially when I  felt I needed professional input) – I turned to other writers in the forum and yes, they helped a bit.

 Would my life be better if my Tutor didn’t hold a grudge against me because I am asking for my TMA1 to be reassessed?  Yes.

Would it be easier to back down and compromise my values and beliefs?    Easy for who?

 

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I’ve signed up to do an 8-week acting program in Leeds – in the hope, it will be a refresher to the acting degree I did in 2009-11. I was a different person then- with a whole lot of different problems at that time.

 I want the chance to use this opportunity to help inform my writing for my MA and any future work I do, I also want to give myself a confidence booster for when I  get anxious about public speaking.

Yes, it may look like I am super confident on the outside. I know about how to communicate nonverbal signs that indicate I’m okay. I know what to say to myself to psyche myself up.

In public, I can do an amazing impression of someone with confidence and flair – a lot of us do.

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What is wrong with people knowing that in private that sometimes I’m in tears, don’t want to leave the house, my husband hugs me till I feel safe again?

 I doubt myself, think of giving up.

Does that mean I will give up or fall apart?

My aim is, to stay as well as I can and reach my goals and achieve them.

I will do my best to make sure I damn well achieve them.

Don’t you find it strange how, one minute, the world can seem to fall in on itself and then a couple of hours later, a little fire sparks up and blazes up your entire being?

It’s that little bit of hope.

Hope means: it is possible.

It also means I/we need to work hard to achieve our goals, get scared and have that awkward conversation and feel the anxiety and stay with it.

It also means we get to experience the times when we are “in” the moment, laughing, listening to others, learning, seeing what we can do when we just do it.

No one said life is easy. I have screamed this at the world hundreds of times:

I NEVER ASKED TO BE BORN! 

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I’m still here.

You are.

Whatever shit we have done that should or could have been the moments when it all flatlines- isn’t here- yet.

Yes, I will die one day. So you will you.

Whatever your beliefs about the afterlife – they are yours. If they comfort you – keep them.

If they help you put one foot in front of the other- use your faith, and your beliefs to be your best champion.

It’s so fucking cheesy, I know. ( face in palm) I feel like one of those square sandwich cheese melts.

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My point is this:   it takes courage to decide to live, it takes a lot of courage to decide to take or consider ending our  own life.

Like the song goes: while I’m here I want to know why I’m here.

I can only do that by living life.

I don’t want to merely exist. I want to look back and go – it makes sense now.

These are my words.

Have a great week all.

DAISY XOXO

Here’s the song.

 P.S. and here is a poem I discovered when I was about 13/14 years old. I have used it and read it and carried it with me for over 15 years to see me through some pretty fucked up times.

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Emotional IQ zero percent

Just let go – what have you got to lose?

eyes veer from every inch of the walls surrounding her, desperately imploring ,pleading for an answer.

Gain, gain – You have everything to gain.

Let yourself be loved, adored ,laugh.

Gain some weight. Give Life a heart beat that doesn’t stutter out cacophonously  .

Passing  by incongruent signs .

Lose what exactly?

Sentiment?

That last chance to see that person or  experience that moment again.

Move on. Time escapes no one.

Yes, move on but isn’t that like quitting?

You are too stubborn. You will be the tower that gets struck by lightening. catches fire and burns to the ground.

You would have been at you highest yet  still trying to glimmer amongst stars you imagine are on top of the true hierarchy.

‘It wasn’t a solid foundation, to begin with,’ she says.  This time, I  get to start again,’she says.

We all deserve a second chance -even a third – not all  of us are so  pleasantly aligned with the heavens to be given such a gift – another chance to explore.

Malignant. maleficiated. Morose.

Fantasies played out over and over in her mind.

Could that be the allure?

She is aware her  thinking is not  based in reality but in a place where everything works out just fine.

Let go,that part of your mind. That dream. Free up space for new ideas, true goals to achieve and be who you are meant to be.

Sometimes, that is why she  chooses to escape. She can’t handle feeling the tug. Sitting, looking at lines on  the palms of her hands  Feeling trapped.

To make contact -one last time.  her heart sighs….

Sounds like a recording   from the denial addiction hotline.

One last time will never be enough.

It isn’t physical. It’s emotional. It’s deep – it’s raw. It’s irrational. Bordering on obsessive.

If she could frolick with ignorance – it would make this sentence- seem less like walking the green mile.

Fighting emotions with reason – battery ,assault, bruised, cutting remarks.

Too much time has passed. She has  experienced the same mistakes all too often.

She can’t run to her nearest anchor be it – drugs, alcohol, eating, not eating,

Her will has been made.  She signed on the dotted line. Willingly. She has chosen Life .

To feel is a double edged sword. No matter how many times you practice and try and form it into a skill ,a talent even.

The blunt edge is the one that gets sharper.

Every. single. time.

Not even the great Houdini could carry on escaping. You think there is endless time?

Insight – is a savage bastard- reasoning with it feels like watching your favourite   underground band selling out to a big corporation.

She  must suppress. Not reveal her breasts. She may offend someone.

She wishes you to know  – male gender .

If it is hot and you take your t-shirts off – then let her do the same – no bra or cover up.

Equality is a simple equation .

Look at Algebra!

 when you know the rules it all becomes a little simpler to understand.

Life is not one and one makes two.

It is all an illusion. We are everywhere, everyone, every feeling, every planet, every language, every song.

Stop counting.

When any species is under attack it will either choose immortality or fight and evolve- transcend –  would you believe she learnt that from a sci-fi film?

Life is short. bittersweet. Is that why she won’t let go ?

She wants to make sure  that whatever happens to someone she has ever had the privilege of meeting to make amends and not feel grief.

Selfish, yes – at least she will be at peace.

* Inspired by me being reminded I wear my heart of my sleeve*

Let it Go.

Okay I might as well get it out now.

20 guests have been invited to our wedding on the 22/06/2016. Invitations were sent out ages ago. Everyone confirmed and then Life happened.

Everyone on the list is not expendable. In our books they are chosen for specific reasons.

Five of the guests -a family – are chosen for being the ones that brought me and my King together.

I don’t know if they will make it (I’ve asked them to tell us on many occasions) because of their current situation. It is a matter of life and death. I understand life happens but this is our wedding and after many phone calls and chats; I don’t think I will be in a  forgiving mood if they don’t make it.

Another couple is literally family. I’ve asked repeatedly over the months if they are sure that their health issues won’t affect them from coming to the wedding.

A lot of mixed signals and I’m dubious.

I’m quite sure that my two bridesmaids will be there considering the money invested in making them feel beautiful on the day. I have not gone all bridezilla on them . The only thing I made clear was I wanted their hair to be flowy and boho – up and down , plaits and not fussy with loads of crap in their hair.

I don’t want to fall out with people I have known for many years and people I will get to know in the years to come; over something that is not life threatening.

Hair – unless it involves losing it should not be a big fucking issue!

I’m starting to doubt my own hair do and thank fuck I am having another trial  soon.

I am quite positive that four of the guests will be there – unless some travesty happens and of course that would not be be their faults.

The final guests I am kind of hoping won’t have any kind of issue on the day- I understand people get sick. I  would always put my friends and families health before my own happiness.

One guest is our daughter. She is coming.

The thing is: Our wedding day is a once in a life time event.

There are many people we wanted to invite but we had to be really strict so we could have our wedding day, and make sure that every guest is catered to  and has the very best we have to offer them ,to thank them for celebrating our day: with us.

I can’t control this. It is bigger than me and I’ve got to the point now where I have to sing ‘ Let it go’ because I’m a fucking first time bride – worrying about making sure everyone else is happy while I don’t get a chance to worry about my own hair, make up, health state etc..

I know I am having a bride to be rant. I didn’t want to post it because it is so…..

so…………….. predicable.

I hate being predictable but I want my guests to be predictable.

Isn’t that a bit of a catch 22 ?

So I’m letting go and will have an epic day in spite of what happens on the day.

I love everyone who is going to be there but there are also a lot of other people I love to pieces who I wanted to be there too.

My mantra up until the wedding is this little gem

Transparent its apparent #Socs

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Apparent-ly ,I was not  as prepared for the whole love you in sickness in health bit of our binding vows when we get married in June.

Weeks away from the wedding and I find out a week ago that my husband to be has been going blind in his right eye.

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He didn’t bother to casually mention it to me, in the the month that his detached retina ,has got further and further away from his eyeball to the point if he left it any longer; he may  just need a cane. I’m not talking about this kind.

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I was full of rage and disappointment.  Sometimes I want to  throw stones at the martyrs in my life.

I DO!  (I  only ever wanted to have to think that on my wedding day? 😀

 

We joked about the   Stevie Wonder rumours  yesterday and how epic it would be if he actually put a stop to all the rumours of him faking he is blind.

 

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I’m lucky to have a partner that came from parents who use humour to  get on with life’s shake ups. My family do the same.

It sure takes the edge off the reality of the situation.

I just want to put out  on this post how much I rely on my G. He is a diamond – a star.  I know there are those gifts you can buy and name a star after someone you love. This to me screams ‘you being taken for a ride’.

HE IS A  TRUE STAR.

No monetary value can have a hold on the one I love.

The full package. The rarest of them all. The beat to my heart.

I say this all the time about him and my Bella bee – they are what makes my heart go

kerr-  dum  ker- dum ker- dum… not so dirty dancing..

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Speaking of dancing . We are not having a first dance.

I think it would be awesome to have one but G is not keen. I’m  not expecting him to bust out some ‘put your back  into it’ moves –

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I’m not going all Missy Elliot on him.

 

He can if he wants  too……

but in all truth –  I would love to dance to this song with him..

 

Oh fuck! Shit… ‘THEM THERE EYES !

This is how my mind works?

 I love my man’s eyes…. I’m not taking the piss here.

I am being 100% authentic and real.

I dedicated that song to G when I met him…

I’ve been on a high since the SS  have exited our lives and I went a  bit party hardy but I’ve calmed down since NYE.

Living the quiet life..

 monastic excitement  only.

Then,

I find out the news about this surgery he is going to have in two weeks time.

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JUST LIKE THAT! MY VISION OF MY WORLD BLOWN TO PIECES.

The surgery seems  pretty straight forward. .

It is what he has to NOT do after the surgery which will predict success or epic failure.

I fucking loathe complaining.

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I don’t know who else to talk to .

 Everyone I know comes  to talk to me and I can’t just stop some -one mid sob and go:

” Shut the fuck up . Back the fuck up . I need help .I feel like I  am a shit wife to be. Can I hack this? Do my man proud.?Be a real  woman and put on my big but sexy panties? “

I’m not going to go all renegade master on my G.

I’ll don my sexy ‘SUPER NURSE’  outfit on  and I will get back into the groove of doing ALL  the household chores again. We usually split the chores straight down the middle. No grey areas .

I  jest.I jest..

We do work as a team though. It is what works for us.

I’m not used to some one- like the man I am going to marry- getting ill….

Sex is off limits. I am not lying. Well.. I am lying down  but you have to believe me on this one.

I dunno google it..  Ha ha

I’ve got it good and this kind of shock experience makes me appreciate my G  even more. He does so much for me, hides so much.

He protects me.

He can be a stubborn MOFO most of the time but hell, so can I eye .

Fucking terrible joke.  #SOCS I blame thee

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I KNOW !

I KNOW!

So this is where we are at.

I have to thank my Ma and my Nan because they will be looking after Bella Bee so that makes life a lot easier for me.

I don’t fucking cook….

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So, take out it is…..

Or maybe just maybe this experience will bring out the traditional wife who cooks, barefoot,  wild flowing  hair, all tits hanging loose.

Where has my courage gone?

 Here is me Me worrying about stepping up and being counted.

Change is good .

I have to  see this is only going to make me and us stronger.

So as apparent as my initial shock is that I am going to be gobbled up by the world that is my oyster. I may just shock myself and bust out all the moves and  yell:

STOP! THIS IS DAISY’S TIME!

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TIME TO WORK IT! BE BRAVE.

Whatever we decide  to say in  our  vows on our wedding day. Anything about health and love and standing by my man will be a FACT and not some mere idea. I can say the same for my G.

He has stuck by me with all my toil boil and troubles.

No matter which!

I just have to trust the process of commitment.

SHOUT OUT!

This post wouldn’t be without :

 LINDA G. HILLLife in progress – The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS May 7/16

I will be posting and reading blogs as much as I can after the 19th  May – the day of G’s operation,

My Hen do is  on the 21 st May-

and the stag do after that-

-and then our  epic wedding on the  22nd  June.

I wish I had six heads with 6 pairs of hands   that I could conjure when I wanted .

Oh Genie?

So, I am going to leave you all and have a good old rummage in my mask trunk. I need to find the‘ right faking it till you making it’ mask to don in the next coming weeks.

The show must go on…

Last thing I want to share that always makes me laugh is this

 

Still merely human.

“I think that the only reason people hold onto memories so tight for so long is because memories are the only things that don’t change, even when people change..”   Unknown

This is a post that I  have wanted to write  for some time but my heart is still raw with pain. I’m comfortably numb as the song goes . No words I write can do justice to what this illness does to people we love.

We have had the plague

Chicken pox

Aids and HIV

Cancer.

The new cowboy in town in Dementia.

He has all the traits of the best cowboy in town

  • A steady hand

  • A look that says so much but not something you can be sure what it is thinking

  • It is true to it’s word

  •  It takes Pride in his work

  • A true perfectionist 

It doesn’t mind who it  consumes and takes out it the process.

This year DEMENTIA AWARENESS WEEK May 15-21  focuses on confronting your fears about Dementia.

The Alzheimers society is reaching out to give you support and information. You don’t have to fight this alone.  REACH OUT

I found this  – it captures how I feel whenever I see my Gran  and how helpless I feel.

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I’m going to show you some pictures of someone who has loved me for a long time.

But first

I must close my eyes

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AGE : 15.

STATE: awake

LOCATION : Kitchen ( Gran’s home ) South Africa

Gran comes shuffling in to the kitchen

“Que ce qui pas?

“Can’t sleep”

“I will make you a camomile tea” in her French accent .

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She spent a lot of time and money putting me in rehabs and looking after me when I was growing up.

I am possibly the  first and only person to have seen my Gran cry  that I know of — I’m not proud but honoured she trusted in me.

AGE:18 years

STATE:  possibly drunk or hung over

LOCATION: Gran’s Bedroom France

Grandpa was  not doing well. My Gran broke down.

All I could do was hold her.

She knew Cancer and Chemo  was going to be the   un-doing of him.

 He still tried to look after his ‘Trois filles’ ( me, Mom and Gran) until his last breath.

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The greatest love affair ever!  ❤

What a pair they made.

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Grandpa got a massive contract with Loreal in the 1950′ -1960’s . He was the main sales rep for promoting the  Loreal brand  in Africa.

They travelled everywhere

Madagascar

Zimbabwe

South Africa

to name a few.

Gran had spent most of her life travelling. Her father was a general in the army. Her step father some sort of captain and she spent a few years in the cote de ivory and other places.

They had 6 children together

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And two other sons who I don’t have pictures of. She was and still is the queen of the family.

So much elegance ,grace and charm. She suffered a lot of heart ache in her life. Lost love, her mother was jealous of her as were her two step sisters.

She was kicked out of her home when she was 16 years old and pregnant. She went on to become a femme de menage and a beautician to survive the streets of Paris..

When she met my grandfather she never had to worry about love or  money again. Even when he passed on  from Cancer. Her twin sons and my own mother  still  after her.

The relationship she had with my mother was unbreakable- even now. My Gran  still demands my mothers time and is happier when she has her to herself.

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This last picture was taken in 2012 -four years ago.  My Gran’s 79 th birthday

She loves to laugh and is still a social butterfly just like my Bella Bee-

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Alzheimers and Dementia does not discriminate.

A cold and bitter night in the U.K..

 The Wind screeched out  a name

A lady manages to fumble with the keys to a door and lets herself out. 

Where is she going?

No shoes,

a  flash of car lights, 

 Great big BULGING eyes

FLAP ,FLAP

 a night gown whips around the lady’s ankles 

She couldn’t live on her own any more. She was find walking the streets in her night clothes, by her carer ,at the time on the coldest night the U.K. had in 2013.

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Gran in her new home – the first of three new care homes she would move to until the present.

This was a place with bells and whistles on. It was like a 5 ***** hotel.

In the few months she stayed here.

She was found sat in bed  drowning in her own piss.

She had spread faeces all over the walls and under her nails.

The home said she was too much trouble.

Funny, they didn’t have a problem with taking our families money for the few months she was there.

New home – two days until Gran’s 80th. Her twin sons came out to surprise her

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The day my Aunt died of lung cancer . My Mom got a call from her care home to say Granhad broken her hip. She spent 12 days in a normal hospital ward.. Always calling out. Neglected.

WAS THIS WHAT SHE SAW?

We thought we were going to lose her.

Three nurses,

A grand daughter,

A daughter.

a sedative

2 -3 hours

a struggle

Another sedative

FEAR

SCREAMS

SWEAT

PORES

TEETH EXPOSED – FERAL

EARS POUNDING

THIS SOUND      – my idea of Dementia raging  in audio.

 

She couldn’t speak but she could scream and lash out.

 I don’t  think I slept for 2 days after that event.

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Christmas 2009.

Gran  in hospital . The last time she would ever walk

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Gran loved to walk

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Gran will never walk again.

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She had to be moved to another  home that could meet her needs. No fancy hotel .

Gran’s 81st birthday

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I go see my Gran every week with my Mom. I take my daughter. I don’t want her to forget my Gran.

She went from speaking two languages, walking, laughing, taking pride in her appearance to this person.

To being a person who would blanche if she knew what she was like now.

Maybe she does and that is what makes her so angry still. 12728922_10206394372312168_9205953428105637055_n

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Yes, she screams and she can’t talk and she scares me sometimes because I don’t know what to do to help her; but she is still my Gran and she has a mental illness. 

IT IS NOT HER FAULT!

Her home she lives in now have really put quality over quantity. It;s not a show home -it is a home -home -check out  ROBERTS TOWN CARE HOME FB PAGE  .

The only people who have got my Gran to a place in her illness where she is  probably going to be able  to come to my wedding ceremony in June.

May is# MAKE MAY PURPLE   month.

Across the world May is the month for creating mental health awareness.

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Be careful what you wish for.

Days go by and merge into one long never ending Groundhog day at times. Well it does for me -every now and then.

I create excitement in my life by signing up to do things that I think are going to get me out of the slump. Give my life a wardrobe of scenery changes and with that  hopefully comes new feelings.

These feelings are my drug- the euphoria I crave . The rush of blood to the head.  Anything to make me feel worthy.

Be careful what you wish for.

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In all the time I have wished for things to change and  things to not stay the same. It is has had good outcomes and bad.

 I guess the crucial question is what is it I have been wishing for that I have created  to become my reality. 

What about relationships?

We can all get into “are we doing enough” in our relationships?

Are we living life together and truly going for it?

Be Careful what you wish for.

Sometimes it is okay for things to stay the same.

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What am I going on about?

Say someone you care about has an appointment for an eye test or a medical review.

You then get a phone call saying that person has to go to hospital to get another opinion on their health status.

Why didn’t this person tell me things could get so serious?  

I’m in shock. I don’t react.

This second opinion then turns into a third opinion.

No more mundane sameness. I have got my wish.

Am I prepared?

To do surgery or not?  This is two people I know and love now, one is definitely   having invasive surgery on thursday and the other person  is to find out if they should have surgery.

You can’t buy health.

You can try…..

 When your health is steady and away -this is a good time to not wish that there was more going on in your life.

I would rather live the rest of my days partying hardly if it meant the health of the ones I adore didn’t go from not something to worry about, to

fuck what am I going to do if I lose you mode.

Accept that whatever/whomever you have in life  is a blessing.

So what if you don’t have a model’s clothing wardrobe , a TV. the size of an over inflated sponge bob character?

So what if you don’t get a loads of  likes on your posts, status updates and profile pictures?

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Yes, all of these things can give you that high we crave. The one that gets our heart beating like a wooden drum.

Success after hard work or not is an exhilarating feeling.

Personally, I just don’t think it would keep my happiness momentum going say, for as long as I had the people around me- well and in my life.

I too want to better myself and have everything better .Sometimes it’s alright if something is serving it’s purpose and is good enough.

I don’t believe we are put into the world to seek validation from others.

 Though I can’t tell you how many times and years I have wasted seeking it.

There is so much that is superficial – nobody knows what is real.

I watched a  documentary on the fashion industry last week. Watch the TRAILER if you can.  Us ladies and now men strive to achieve to fit into clothes made to look good on a  13/14 or 15 year old child. 

 

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POTENTIAL NEXT BIG SUPER-MODEL !
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NADJA -SAME GIRL AS ABOVE. WE STRIVE TO LOOK LIKE THIS

The targets are the coy lolita looking ones that , say a  girl  out of Siberia -living in a world of poverty at the back end of a communist regime era , with  the promise of earning loads of money and travelling the world off the back of their one playing card- their looks. 

There are children going over  to Asia or the West and can’t speak English and are children and get exploited. There is no glossing over it.

These girls start going to modelling schools as young as 5 years old learning to manipulate the camera –

Make love to it !

 

Isn’t it crazy that most of us humans in this world are  brainwashed into having sick minds?

Isn’t there enough disease and suffering for the taking?

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We get older and still strive to dress in provocative clothes that  can only look good on a 13/14 year old model!

That whole sentence is just incongruous.

 

This is the extent to how ill our society is.

How ill we all are.

We get older – fashion can’t survive on yesterdays’ image!

We don’t even have time to get the ‘today’ look off the hanger.

The fashion world and society won’t let us enjoy a moment that extends further than a sales transaction and a bag of goodies ,that mainly ends up as close to your body as,  that sinister lampshade you inherited from some distant relative.

It makes you  shudder every time you pass it or look at it. Epic impulse buy. I buy into it -a lot of us do

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So, we are always chasing the ‘look of tomorrow’,  usually a younger version of some ‘ideal image’ that could easily have found it’s way into the Deity section in the Roman world.

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It is an illusion.

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Our bodies and minds change in our lifetime.  Nature dictates and  so does society.

Often both are in conflict.

We are not meant to be trapped in a peter pan -esque body for the rest of our lives.

I’ve kind of digressed.

Well, I have made it less personal.

This is how the post started-  health and my loved ones as being something personal to me .

I guess I have taken the model industry and society as an example of what our t idea of what healthy and successful is.

 It then becomes something that is hopefully a post we can all relate too.

If it is personal to all of us, maybe we can understand or start to question what is the picture of  true health and success. 

 

What is true happiness?

What is true?

 

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There is no need to go chasing dreams and filling other’s pockets if it is going to make you ill.

Instead of being a small dot in soemone else’s story go and make your own. I’m sure you will get to the end of your story  in a better mental and physical state . HAPPY EVEN!

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Be Careful what you wish for.