Tag Archives: humour

Maybe she wrote

Heard the one about instagram being cocaine delivery service ?

Meme- it.

Nah! I just go for the pictures, personally but the deep dark web -hides

mews of creatures -deep- internally.

My world luxed out with a sunny day.

A line scented with silver

made for an olfactory disguise – remnants of rotting fish odor .

Murdered a child – fetus borne out  of a reflux  screaming match.

Woke up alive -bloated tummy and a 5 month walking nightmare-

It’s a boy – he secreted into every orifice

Raped me


Allowed insanity to become my better face.

Overdosed on affirmations

never have regrets

Turned around and married a man likened to the son of god

Fallen angel -I am

The humor isn’t lost.

Lets do a rewind – I’m allowing requests.

Here I  am typing…

writing – spouting off words

Maybe one day it will all make sense.


Squwark Streams on a sound byte

Shake it

… shake it baby

It’s prompting




Keys to unsilence the drama



 a  happen ing in my  Soviet Russian impersona

caricature is classic!

Say what is on yo mind…

why dontchwa.

too many interests’

Too little time.


I can’t rap

But I do

got flow

70% water — can’t Make this shit up…

Scientists don’t discriminate-

unless this  stream  is already  filled up

by yesterdays


outCHOON Ed by the  original televised  chooners


the premier

First and foremost a clickity clackety mandated muse.

Take  note — one way to scale down the itchy  scratchy post

lude  blues.



it gets a bit cameras in your  face-

Porno time ?

These nuts ogle for a trace.

– Streaming


Mind seemingly souring to this distaste.

Vinylise –

cos  she has no form

 other than to

intro- apple -genuisly feed

 a draft

 One day worthy for the First Lady to perform ?

It’s not all in my head

Shucks… Big up,Daisy  noted

‘mo brain mo crane’

Fly to the East

Sigh to the West

side with the South

 Hustle with  the  true north.

Whatever get’s  her typing

It’s all a bit willowy

Throw in a hillbilly (?)

if it gets these words making some…



doo wee

doo wop

Guess what?

ain’t apologising for being  an invader of my own space.

R. iveting



ha ha when you cha cha.

It’s dead.

‘it’s gone,Gym’

Giblets strutting down this street

Shaking their tail feathers to  those with the Harmonised feet.




vitro –


chiming  Dutch bells



Her the time is for her inner She-era.

The mice may be chasing  that scatty cat.

She speaks fluent meow-skies — knows a few tings concerning species ruled by the  One Count-Ah! Ah!

Give this a ball a  bat.

If you’ve caught up …

Tell her where  she lost the plot.

hint Where is she at?

doing the wiggle worm  , 8 years  young?

thinking ,

‘ maybe I’m a kid ‘—  kidders  rights to think

‘maybe I am shit hot.’

Child hood is bliss.



Impervious to the  nonsense .

Tolerate her apparent nonchalance.

she winds down




Screetches for more.

grasps the idea of throw your hands in the air 

Hit, publish — these  words

have  no shame, in saying

I don’t care.

Be content to have your own flair.


Sometimes you gotta groove the ghetto to let up some get up and get some get go.


I had fun writing this.

Cloud nein emcees

*Inspired by the quote*

‘be nice to those on your way to the top, don’t believe your own hype, you never know who you are going to meet on your way back down’

Today, I rant about those who sit on cloud tufted pedestals

self righteous

Judging others they deem have morals lacking by half and a few.

A pack of dogs who bitch more than females could ever stir up in a stew.

Pre made, customised idol awards-ready to export from china-engraved names for the lot of the little who mew mew .

Talk like a woo fang man — skillz and talents

Big upped up by their mates.

Could you stand without your prop ups.

Really ? Even you?

mixed bred, British bull terriers ending the night in multiple lock jaw — fatalities .

Take you imported ciders, your low suspension alpha Romeo idea mentalities

Get back to banter.

Not discussing events or ideas but foreign people unlike your garbled, stiff upper lips , sipping pints of Bloody Sunday.

There’s a lucky clover . A rainbow that ends with a holiday in Dover.

Go back to milking your 5 minutes of arrogance

waking the neighbours in a condescending dialect.

Sounds like every other branded cattle breed that goes Moo.

Go on, size each other up and go who the fuck are you?

Uttering words about actions you could never lower yourself to do.

Dare take a peek behind you

I see an out line of X-rayed, wannabe Bruce lees

Heads fucked up with inside battles

Wasted winnings gambled on a fight with their own inner D,J. shadows-

Naive thoughts plant a flag thinking they’ve conquered the art of rhetoric kung fu

Here’s a curve ball

Bounce to lyrics of Mc masters — obey to tasting your words with Salt n Peppa.

Female goddess emcees rule .

Shag your generic Sia sheep who keep their mouths shut.

Listen to your eloquent bullshit — the stench left over makes dissidents mouths open

Writhing incredulous,

these open minded soldiers

Look on

Barely keeping down their own spew.

These boys never compromise their morals-

Make a mistake

wake up next to a Lancashire blow up Doll from last nights sexist shenanigans-

Supping the remnants of their 2 for 1 cocktails of diluted pitchers of woo woo .

Imagined a girl shouting Woo hoo.

Keep up this rhyming — dilly day and strive to look out for Hissen

Congregate in a penniless free style masonry , boy scout coven.

Listen to the cult and obey to the commandant of looking out for you Sen.

Knives ready to back stab stray wildlings of independent thought

And the balls to disagree with your collective A-(lpha) mens.

I’m standing here-

A free bird-wild and crazy.


these dawgs gave up their wings to live in a prison



Submissive Howling at the cycles of the moon-

YMCA village people — cutting verses to ward off open mouthed females — pouring out lyrics in a new shade of crimson.

They get to fly-



Kiss the sky-travel to new notions on a whim.

Watch the pack follow who they think is their leader for getting one, witty joke in.

Do the hokey pokey

Turn around

Point a nicotine stained, skeletal finger ,

At the lass who refuses to stay lowkey.

Light up a roll up , Climax on giving your brethren’s token blow job.

Exhale the bullshit — macho man hype , leave the women to battle the heat in the kitchen — we know how to turn down a knob.

Don’t forget yo mama’s rule

blow to cool

let the butter melt before you take a bite of that corn on your cob.

Yellow pissheads aint never done no wrong.

Eat snow —

times up — stamina let you down with your pelvic thrusts .

Premature ejaculation interrupted your flow.

Are you still hard ?

Can you carry on ?

ladling out soft serves of ice cream .

Even the ladies trailing round the dog pound

Fake their orgasms when they scream.

It’s out of pity — you mad Heads –

Christmas is coming

wrap up warm in your knitted wu hoo woolly jumper

Don’t forget your gloves after your hump her .

Cordoned off crime scene

she’s dead behind eyes.

Just cos you got blue ball syndrome

Don’t make it right

to dig up a corpse-to pleasure your Sen with taunts.

Making out.

Yeah, making out


you’re perfect gentleman is easy

when you’re signed up to the inner dating necrophilia brand groupie fan website

The big issue is:

you’re a sell out.

Cry on with lies , look to the misfits

the Others to despise-

Lose the disguise.

We see through the fist bumps,

Dry stained tear streaks .—

Read between the lines — cut your teeth on kiwi limes

Hey diddle diddles!

A round of applause for the next free faller who can muster out a few riddles.

Watch out for when the clouds disperse

and you land up

back at the bottom-

ass hitting cobblestones –

Here’s a pound for a pack of Kleenex tissues to wipe away those little dribbles .

We’ve all got urban dictionary ,Grinch behaviour issues.

*for all the ladies who get a bad rap and have listen to their local men attempt to big up their own Woo (pie) Clan

Just a bit of fun 😀

And a bit of the true Wu tang

Life nonsense Intolerance

*Complete nonsense trigger warning*  ( inspired by my out of tune singing of Smash mouths-‘all Star’)


Hey now you’re  afuckstar!

 I’m so bloody frustrated,

Orgasms in the office stopped mid flow,

 because my printer  got jammed,

And made life slow.


Wants a piece of fame.

Fuck it.

 It’s dismal.

Its shallow.

These still waters run deep.

I’m swimming off to  get away from  ‘the look at me’ protestors  with their self-drawn,scrawled  picket’.

I’m frustrated.

Paper over load.

Jam makes me sticky .

I need more than cursing semen.

I’ve got energy  I need to burn up.

Let me feast like a queen-on  sushi and haute cuisine.

It’s not like I have nothing to do.

I have a to do list ,

Daisy in the Willows  believe  it or not.

I’m not getting my usual kicks from turning blue.

I’m talking nonsense cos I’m frustrated.

People are fickle.

So, here I  am

typing — wisely refusing to do any ass wiping-

  I’m worth more than a nickel.

Money is a means to an end

Credit – I’m borrowing on limited time only .

Interest served for  these corporations

Who turn my life into a hang mans noose.

 Game over.

cul de sac

loopy dead end.


no makeup-

Everybody wants  a fake bake .

I failed the pencil test rule

I need to buy new lingerie for own my blushing breasts sake.

sexual and passionate-

extremist –

not a fan of

Being  Laid In.

Nonsense .

Not procrastinating.

look at me

I’m transparent-

Casper  the ghost has nothing  on this glowing  skin .

Free verse

I don’t fit in.—

 there’s no scene

Unless I acknowledge  it .

Let me be ignorant.

Insight is turning me into some evil mutant


I’m a music whore — to my very core.

Hell has nothing on me-

Sending tickets to remind them I am the serpent from mythic folklore.


Cover up

 Bare skin

 Shut your taboos up .

I have nothing to hide….

-except a few stretch marks and an imagined belly that resembles  raw pork in a butchers  shop

Shave my head

Take my dignity

Fuck that.

I’m feeling rather ranty.

So much to do.

Typing shit – I’m probably due my meds cos now I’m  on Electric Avenue.

Write to recover from mental imbalances.

I’m feeling better-

my memory’s erased from  CBT shock  therapy.

Thanks doc , I brought extra large diapers,

and now I’m better walking round like baby Huey-


with a

 toddler mentality of a pig.


Before I get diced into  a stew with other mashed up veggies.


*Apologies for this post*