If I let you creep under my skin
would you forgive me for wishing myself to die from sin?
If I let you hold tight and folded into your arms
would you forgive me for needing someone to look to for my daily psalms?
If i had you ravage my body in kisses, linger fingertips over my flesh
Would you forgive me when I can’t let go unless under the influence of a narcotic
If I had to be the mother of year
Would you put me down when I fall from grace
I’m only human
That’s my greatest mistake.
I planned another attempt on my knees
Spoke to a God
Daisy is no more.
A body emptied walking on egg shells.
Cause me to break out in blisters.
Words fail to recover my obsolete pose
stream of wrong chosen floaters in crimson blood rivers.
white foam is my diffident
Angry cross dressers
hung by confusion
bungee jump without rope into a quagmire.
Prayed to a cloud God in an attempt to die
Lost, scared, dreading my loss of locks
inside I’m already dead.
Queen bee keeps me in fear
droplets of pollen
my rival is life
Alone decorated in red confetti
Enraged at my syphilistic minded inability to write even borderline literate.
Fits and spirits
rummy body popping misfit.
Failure to perish
shelf life insignificant.
A failure at talking transparent.
A thief of integrity.
A coward rumpled into a once upon a time melody
No solace — out grown to suffer from eternal colic.
Stubborn push me over
‘cos it’s a waste of oxygen.
Recovery is overrated.
Trust when I say
I lied and I planned
My prison is this world.
Let me go!
I’m not strong enough to serve the bee revolution cos I’m different.
Scared to never feel my bones.
Scared to lose my only love
My minds my terminal to Cancer.
Purpose – 37 years wasted in ignorance.
I’m not writer
I’m a fighter.
An enemy of my Self.
Uncomfortable with peoples apparent confidence in my ability to not give up.
Strength is not telling
Can’t keep a secret — I’m a fraud — I lost my soul to the devil 3 decades ago.
A ritual given freely to a demon I couldn’t please.
Why did I tell of my plans?
Damn do gooders orchestrating my life.
Suicide is the answer.
I’m dead inside
I’m a joke-I’m aimless — shameless
Engaged – remember to pretend to be engaged.
Life is a sham — there is no plan.
Fear makes me who I am.
A writer died on that table.
I shrink my words-
I am not who I say I am.
Don’t tease me;
People — I don’t get you — assist me — talking in skipped beats
Daisy in the willows
I’m not a fan.
Help me disappear
not in another room with four walls
you hold me rooted
Why do I love you ?
You’re my child
I am A mother on mute.
Lost to a cause
Petrol bombed mind.
A lost cause to
These four walls.
Life is a shore ditch with no applause.
alive — so very sudden.
Cheated out of death
I don’t want to live
Stop saving me
Screaming to a society blinded
Samaritan I’m your even,
selfish? , yeah
welling up in self pity.
Take my Queen — kill me — a paperless tree.
these words are not free
I cannot be
Fuck the world
Listen to my plea.
Let me die
damn you all
I have Cancer in my mind.
You live behind fake smiles and superficial styles.
The only time i ever felt free was when I wrote without thinking
I’ve lost my creativity
I’m done thinking
My rights taken from me.
Death embrace me
Why can’t you fall in love with me?
Damn you all.
I am my biggest flaw.
Live for yourselves.
let me disappear into a shallow grave carved out of skin
Scarred by the welts of time.
A master of self distortion
Fuck the life-it serves no function.
All I had were my words.
Now I have nothing but a habit of crawling on hands and knees hiding from life’s sores.
I don’t want to be famous.
i want another chance to die — Fuck you
Hospital and doctors orders
I’m not an animal!
I’m a ghost of the cult of the morbid.
These are my words
Damn you, Bee!
Manipulate me into loving you
If only I didn’t care
maybe i don’t
fuck these words are simple.
Not good enough
I’m the fucker with the guardian angel who won’t let me go.
Fuck you, you test me and arrest me.
I’m perpetually unhappy
let me go
Let me finally be free.
I was born into the wrong world,
the wrong time.
fuck you all – I don’t want to be
I’m too damningly kind.
Survival of the fittest — I’m a rumpled coward-a retard — a misfit.
Damn you,host — you saved me — when you should have save your breath for another.
I exist for others peace of mind.
*This is a work of fiction and stream of consciousness writing prompt for a character I am developing for my Masters.*
sails set -flappers on deck- bags packed ready to dance with le mistral –
Prepare for signs of cursive scurvy , unorthodox rats.
a canary and a dove destined for a new type of island style
Known by the name king Louis of swing.
Allegiance to the flag
Pledge to acquiesce to the captain of this ship
He – the cardinal son.
She- Scarlett wife , tresses of a bedheader installs a navigation Wicca app aura .
Puritans on the other side of the reminisce -wont flock in God’s pinitation no more.
Men blemished from wearing rosacea glasses,
They don’t mind if their ladies flesh is pricked by a stranger.
Possessive is not a prerequisite to all nature.
If she hustled away every coin for her current despicable appearance,
Would his fists mangle into the renegade degenerate?
He ,sitting on a cracked pavement, sipping beer 9% proof distilled hops poison
The brain canters away with a wild neigh, a hurdle jump to late to plummet off the mezzanine ?
Money talks .
Yes, your majesty,
The Queens face-discordant in all apparitions injects a dose of annus miribilis.
Scarlett wife Disorderly conduct causes a head to head, bollocks to a curtesy,
Sight convinces the reality of her hand gripping onto a can of mace.
Artistic expression insists on splashfuls of colour of cans .
Expressive language told in graffiti.
Stand back — look at the words staring at you on the attack
What is respect ?
No dictionary to hand. Examples pour out without definition.
Pleasantries, thank you , cups of tea, good nights, mechanical nav app claiming
Quickest reroute to I love you,
Is it posse of homies fist bumping in homage to the lionized mane with blue blood paw
Together-slumber in king size
Flesh remains languorous to the swirl prints of human touch-
Mistaken identity chickens both fear to lose more feathers
Life division — soul mates obliterated by differences in decorum ethics.
Always the sophisticate — the crowd whispers nectar grains of gossip behind whimsical fans.
She is the fallen angel , notorious for the malaise in her head,
Milked by onions far future veiled tears and a survival credits demeanor .
The pair adore the honeyed bee with cotton blue eyes –
the enigma who keeps their fates sealed in bondage
Arrange one another like a book end seeking outwards ,
a common agenda arise
Pleiades siren sisters heard mewing departing with the breath of dawn
tangerine hues , salmon pinks,
Creative muse leads the joint pair to rip at each other until both are mere bits of itty bitty jagged ,torn up pieces.
No clean break.
Wind takes a pile of their stake
People fall out of love everyday.
Better opportunities appear in the sky line at sun
Save but for this,
Passion misaligned enough to impart a spiritual kiss.
Scarlet answers to his tonic inflections — atonement persists every other day.
heinous tumor clots the mind by a sprinkle of a spell hypnotic
The poltergeist won’t make a proposal with a smudging kiss -so dreadfully emphatic!
Compromise to exercise the practice of sabili.
Feverish tug of war discourse breaks out in lieu of discordant decibels strung out on opiate sentences.-
Night terrors channel the unblemished one onto hang mans cliff, one foot away she is from tumbling to the state of alone.
How can we humans get it so wrong for so long?
Hearts motivation is seeking for a state of a rose petal bed sensation
Yearn that the fleeting soul mate would over estimate his worth.
Indeed change his own faith perhaps even his fate.
No frown lines
Don’t mean no problems.
equality determined by duvet covered up underscores
Old Ben ticks a version of rock.
seize a raconteur to reveal a mandatory position of bondage-alternating positions to top-
Knowledge of new positions verbalized in consumption — a crescendo of orgamsic crowning
Don’t you think it’s fascinating we can live in cramped states and boxed ticks?
Fairies move out appalled by love birds sudden screaming in Tourettes tics
Strangers bound by vows and contracts have perfunctory sentiments ,
Know her soul — possess her ,emancipate her from well coined ferry man ferrying crowds over the river of sty.
she needs the force of a Minotaur-
Amygdala explosion — irrational welts to a few tossers , no burial for those who disrespect a generous gender-life givers-vessels for the lucky few
Respect is a two way street.
A part can disappear to a sudden gasp of disappointment clad in veil-hidden-
Though some part still exposes her skin announcing she’s prepared to paint a mural — decipher their own teasing ,high hopes for their Art.
He needs a stability, no hand palms lined with haphazard crosses-
Nor to the cosmos antagonizing the make up of her spirited sum
We – love is what ? a dessert homemade , multiple attempts to attain the taste of perfection
To understand the the meaning behind the effect of not giving a shit about garlic breathe.
We fall in love-
we fall out
we don’t love
Love shouldn’t have a contract of pre determined conditions.
Feisty souls-what will happen when they reach past there 30th mile stone?
All blasphemous bathe in water infected with parasites of bloody rouge delighted to succeed leeching on a new host — a corruption life draining feed
is this enough to see them through the next phase-a turnstile or direction that doesn’t rewire an IQ test
emotional intelligence — hear her lilted accent
Manipulations, guilt — disappointment-
She commands brutal truth in — communication
Not the bullshit that she is the get down momma.
Big up her soul — she won’t trust words wrapped in silk feathers made by the wife of the bent over farmer.
Troubled is this state of terrain .
life epiphany moments can unify a bond lost to an inventory of savage materialitisic scum
The body is infected
Damn woman, screwed up everything from the moment she puffed out a perfect Oh breathe , the day at her party of existence.
Which way to go?
Look at the neighbors garden — all flowers and herbs cultivated with hands green hue glow.
Tender, patience — imagine a perfect relationship.
It’s easy to forget the good times when Cerebus wakes up-
dodging three eyeballs — accumulate by the sense e of fear-causing blood to boil in heinous state of haemorrhage.
Reminisce the spaces with laughter , moments of frisson, an out line of a future that didn’t appear another gilded prison.
Vow to be a sensual, thought after action man
Vow to be a lady who will cite and recite her promise .
re read the words spoken amount attuned bird chirping,
Above an audience not hidden by a curtain-breaking down every wall.
They recite their vows
Explore the true meaning,
Speak them out loud
Reconnect – her proposal to fight for their future far from the hostile terrain cartel.
Heard the one about instagram being cocaine delivery service ?
Nah! I just go for the pictures, personally but the deep dark web -hides
mews of creatures -deep- internally.
My world luxed out with a sunny day.
A line scented with silver
made for an olfactory disguise – remnants of rotting fish odor .
Murdered a child – fetus borne out of a reflux screaming match.
Woke up alive -bloated tummy and a 5 month walking nightmare-
It’s a boy – he secreted into every orifice
Allowed insanity to become my better face.
Overdosed on affirmations
never have regrets
Turned around and married a man likened to the son of god
Fallen angel -I am
The humor isn’t lost.
Lets do a rewind – I’m allowing requests.
Here I am typing…
writing – spouting off words
Maybe one day it will all make sense.
My latest recorded spoken word. It’s rather amateur. It’s also rather fun! RAH!
Have a fab weekend. Do what you got to do to keep that heart alive – peace out!
Writing to get by
It’s that or sudden death – I merely exist or throw myself off gullibles bridge.
Acme would own up to my incredible fuck ups blowing out trails of smoke.
Enticing my inner bloke to forget about the matriarchy and live off some clean toke.
It’s not important what we type or write about.
It’s survival for me that I spit these words out.
I can’t rap – Maybe one day – I’ll be in a head space
you know me meeting up where its at.
Until then I”ll write to recover,
Remind at least one other –
Yes we have to live in order to die
Die in order to live
are us merely being human.
Master piece this is not.
my stream of consciousness shakes up a nest of serene syndromes.
It’s all making sense – typing ,doing what I know instilled in me.
A teeny bit of common sense
We have it rough
we have it smooth.
My latest Garage Sound ,spoken word with awesome help and instructions from my mate to push myself and my own boundaries.
Do not fear you will make many
It’s okay not to have your shit together first time around or even your 50th
C’est la vie
My mother called me a narcissist
I delayed ringing an exorcist
Eve didn’t want to admit she was too affronted by the orange county housewife
I’ d laugh if it weren’t for the affray
the truth is I’m a direct line of self sabatageoust
my mother called me a narcissist cos i killed myself
she didn’t find it funny when i told her to go along with it
She didn’t get it.
I take up my place as a a dyed goat dressed in sheep
i wonder if I can make it .
language-so i bleat instead of weep my tears.
Oh how did this happen to me
The girl from some other foreign city?
Wiley enough to make a plan
Cunning and soft of heart -all my eggs bled before the start of labour
Before the sun came up.
It hid her pain, all the clots of her smiles.
She would coocoo again
for her soul was of one who couldn’t quit even when they told her she was dead.
Reminiscent of an uprising of crickets ready to battle
Stare at a puffed updiamond heart
Drumming inside an empty cage. Birds ripped apart.
Gargoyle stares ignored.
Folk bumble about unaware what is in store for us all- eventually.
The breathe of Hades-
Lingers then makes a dash for scant flesh and bones.
Meat is not this gods instrument. Lust causes call for more drones
Sponge, moisten parched parted lips
Raven signals the ire of its whips
The ones who don’t loose it in bedlam excite
Invites all loved ones to rally round
Stands by door. Stands back.Admires its ownpower.
A moment to savour for a while more.
Every door closed, each breath cloys
Begs for enough fare to cross the distance to embrace elysium air.
Today everyone shall know how close we are to parting from brown soil
Lamb,hatched chickens,babies born in Cumbersome air.
the cycle must complete before we can emerge reborn
Death is inevitable as necessary as life is to the Cumbaya
of springs first show of petal.
When you look at the beginning of this new dawn
Know that when you stand back in awe
It is because you have felt the chill of winters soul depart
Shed a tear for the snowman who brought our youth so much joy.
Appreciate death. Stare it in the face
The sun chants
count in rosary beads
tomorrow never dies.
Trying to type something while listening and watching my grandmother dying.
I support the assisted dying law. This is inhumane.
A selfish farce.
Happy mothers day
Wherever you go
Wherever you roam
I hope that it is a place as magnificent as earths revellers make it out to be
Ma petition fripon. J’taime xxxx
* What I wrote waiting and comforting my ma and my gran before she passed over
I write these words at my detriment.
One could never state i’m pertinent
Fun until the sun sets and all glows shady
I have bars I could sing
It’s my cage.
It’s inner song lost
I need customer service.
Hit 3 to subscribe to Paige.
Sometimes we a good rant- It’s an old one. I’ve got something say and I’m struggling.
I love all genders -for the record.