I’ve been thinking about the words we ( I) use, (perhaps flippantly) at times. Without really thinking about the meaning of what we say to describe a person.
My 8 year old daughter uses this word to describe anything / any person who seemingly comes across as alien or eccentric to what she doesn’t understands about people’s behaviour & words.
Continue reading Hashtag all “crazy” Words matter
* when I’m angry I like to think the pen is mightier than the sword, this is a revised stream of consciousness about the same person.*
What do you know?
What do you know about life?
Roaming in the streets with a bag of foam E coloured banana sweets, a flat cap to accompany your flat ale.
My mind can’t take the stairs to your psychopathic fuelled attic.
Try to know about life. I ask myself why.
Got plenty worries to wait on.
There’s nothing but your conditions dictating every one of our conversations.
I’m lost-feel dead. Rehearsing what to say is futile, when face to face, with your condescending glare.
Whispers-hard of hearing, harder to crytallize a picture of a time you were ever sweet.
I keep on overthinking.
I’ve had enough.
I’ve had enough.
Yet, I still bloody cared for I know not what.
For a sign of a heart that was ever moulded into a moment so fair.
Make my amendments with the one who is the true enemy.
I nearly fell for the bastardization of the one with a tumorous relation.
I‘m done over thinking.
I thought I was wrong, but then I look up and see it’s you on the side of the serpents infantile tongue.
What do you know ’bout anything but the base life?
African synthesisers — backdrop safari park- full of savage humans.
Ooh wee-what is this shit?
Every time we meet he wants to get an oo wee.
Haibo, voetsek! Hamba
I want you feel what I feel tonight.
Feel scared of this daughter of mama Africa.
My body will be dancing!
Feet stilettos connecting with your underbelly weak spots identified for a finale.
Macabre-I don’t like your style at all.
Seen more compassion from wild monkeys beaten to perform.
What do you know about life?
I’m the one who is always so sorry-I’m leftSipping up more stupid flavours itty bitty who are you?
Ask yourself in a clean mirror -are you satisfied with what you see?
You speak about pain and suffering yet understand nothing about another’s fight.
I’m so strong-where did I get it so wrong?
I’m not sorry — you deserve a room date with perverts in sodomy.
What do you know about human emotion?
Here we go-
I’m done trying to figure out your distilled mind.
Damn right, you hurt me to my very core.
I forget how to breathe-only cos you disgust me with you brash audacity.
What do you know bout life?
I’m cross, I’m marred, I’m completely impaired.what do you know except shouting down opinions?
You so damn selfish and you could do something about it if you cared.
You look at me right now, you don’t ask how I am. Its all about you and your bruised ego.
You selfish bastard-you know nothing ’bout life.
Pained inflicted authentic words of describing the real you.
what the hell is wrong with you?
You are utterly a definition of disgrace.
You don’t know bout nothing.
You only care about your own suffering.
I never want to be so ignorant to other lives, eras and genres of people who have a clue.
Jungle vibes don’t mean you have to lose your chivalry.
I don’t wanna walk like you or, talk like you.
What the hell did I see in helping you?
I feel the open wounds-, I see you take pleasure in openly mocking my new acquired pigmentation.
You know bout nothing -care only bout your own suffering.
Lying faces, sometimes don’t even pretend to be your friend.
Lying faces come in different suits.
Proof comes from not recognising their blatant, arrogant style is their truth.
Hear these tears-you can’t look!
turn it up.
Music files away the pain.
Raindrops cleanse away the ebony and ivory keys layered, over the bruises, of yesterday’s insults aimed at me.
I’m kind of feeling bad right now.
Peace maker?-you should come with a pacemaker warning label.
A pacifist?—not a clue -what’s the definition –the kook who can only mutter‘what -a muppet’-you don’t know this is serious!
You’ve got your addled mind with amnesia.
You rape your mother’s heart repeatedly.
Patterns transferred with a motion of akinesia.
Around you, every person could be convulsing in an epileptic seizure. you still wouldn’t know it. —
to afraid to part with 15-year-old love poems written to yourself in Rhodesia.
You speak of peace yet you make dividend equations, using your thoughtless cowardice utterances,
as an excuse
for regressive aggression.
RIP KEITH from the Prodigy.
I planned another attempt on my knees
Spoke to a God
Daisy is no more.
A body emptied walking on egg shells.
Cause me to break out in blisters.
Words fail to recover my obsolete pose
stream of wrong chosen floaters in crimson blood rivers.
white foam is my diffident
Angry cross dressers
hung by confusion
bungee jump without rope into a quagmire.
Prayed to a cloud God in an attempt to die
Lost, scared, dreading my loss of locks
inside I’m already dead.
Queen bee keeps me in fear
droplets of pollen
my rival is life
Alone decorated in red confetti
Enraged at my syphilistic minded inability to write even borderline literate.
Fits and spirits
rummy body popping misfit.
Failure to perish
shelf life insignificant.
A failure at talking transparent.
A thief of integrity.
A coward rumpled into a once upon a time melody
No solace — out grown to suffer from eternal colic.
Stubborn push me over
‘cos it’s a waste of oxygen.
Recovery is overrated.
Trust when I say
I lied and I planned
My prison is this world.
Let me go!
I’m not strong enough to serve the bee revolution cos I’m different.
Scared to never feel my bones.
Scared to lose my only love
My minds my terminal to Cancer.
Purpose – 37 years wasted in ignorance.
I’m not writer
I’m a fighter.
An enemy of my Self.
Uncomfortable with peoples apparent confidence in my ability to not give up.
Strength is not telling
Can’t keep a secret — I’m a fraud — I lost my soul to the devil 3 decades ago.
A ritual given freely to a demon I couldn’t please.
Why did I tell of my plans?
Damn do gooders orchestrating my life.
Suicide is the answer.
I’m dead inside
I’m a joke-I’m aimless — shameless
Engaged – remember to pretend to be engaged.
Life is a sham — there is no plan.
Fear makes me who I am.
A writer died on that table.
I shrink my words-
I am not who I say I am.
Don’t tease me;
People — I don’t get you — assist me — talking in skipped beats
Daisy in the willows
I’m not a fan.
Help me disappear
not in another room with four walls
you hold me rooted
Why do I love you ?
You’re my child
I am A mother on mute.
Lost to a cause
Petrol bombed mind.
A lost cause to
These four walls.
Life is a shore ditch with no applause.
alive — so very sudden.
Cheated out of death
I don’t want to live
Stop saving me
Screaming to a society blinded
Samaritan I’m your even,
selfish? , yeah
welling up in self pity.
Take my Queen — kill me — a paperless tree.
these words are not free
I cannot be
Fuck the world
Listen to my plea.
Let me die
damn you all
I have Cancer in my mind.
You live behind fake smiles and superficial styles.
The only time i ever felt free was when I wrote without thinking
I’ve lost my creativity
I’m done thinking
My rights taken from me.
Death embrace me
Why can’t you fall in love with me?
Damn you all.
I am my biggest flaw.
Live for yourselves.
let me disappear into a shallow grave carved out of skin
Scarred by the welts of time.
A master of self distortion
Fuck the life-it serves no function.
All I had were my words.
Now I have nothing but a habit of crawling on hands and knees hiding from life’s sores.
I don’t want to be famous.
i want another chance to die — Fuck you
Hospital and doctors orders
I’m not an animal!
I’m a ghost of the cult of the morbid.
These are my words
Damn you, Bee!
Manipulate me into loving you
If only I didn’t care.
Maybe I don’t…
These words are simple.
Not good enough.
I’m the fucker with the guardian angel who won’t let me go.
Fuck you, you test me, then arrest me.
I’m perpetually unhappy.
Let me go.
Let me finally be free.
I was born into the wrong world,
The wrong time.
fuck you all – I don’t want to be
I’m too damningly kind.
Survival of the fittest — I’m a rumpled coward-a retard — a misfit.
Damn you,host — you saved me — when you should have save your breath for another.
I exist for others peace of mind.
*something self loathing in Rage -is (?) I wrote post -suicide attempt*
Write to recover. I don’t always feel so much self loathing. There is always a silver lining…….
Sometimes I feel like why do I bother.
Sometimes I feel like I’ve used up all my bear care
The cities I lived in .
The people I’ve engaged with.
started to stick two fingers up.
But only to the dickheads.
I dance to these beats cos I rise to the funk masters compilation.
I run for the hills , soul in arms, cos I’m scared of bereaving one beat closer to my final end.
Wasted kindness on friendships. One person knows what goes in my head.
Anxiety takes grip, and I turn on my only friend.
I don’t wanna feel like an unwanted graze.
Take me to a place I love.
Where people don’t talk in haze .
I don’t ever wanna feel like maple honey stuck to a face.
Take me to a place where I can finally come out from the virginal lace.
It’s hard to see the evil in people.
Harder to believe especially those covered treacle.
Atleast, I have a built in shit detector-
this city knows notof me.
My mask falls when the prison doors close.
I don’t ever wanna feel ignored by tramps with tongues for shoes.
Just get me out of this space where my compassion reduces me to tears,
Singing the wrong type of blues.
Under suicide bridge another man lands face down on the ground.
Blood glitters all in an outline and I’ve got scared .
I’ve got to be prepared.
I won’t throw this body away for another
*song inspired by Red hot Chilli Peppers ‘ under the bridge’
sails set -flappers on deck- bags packed ready to dance with le mistral –
Prepare for signs of cursive scurvy , unorthodox rats.
a canary and a dove destined for a new type of island style
Known by the name king Louis of swing.
Allegiance to the flag
Pledge to acquiesce to the captain of this ship
He – the cardinal son.
She- Scarlett wife , tresses of a bedheader installs a navigation Wicca app aura .
Puritans on the other side of the reminisce -wont flock in God’s pinitation no more.
Men blemished from wearing rosacea glasses,
They don’t mind if their ladies flesh is pricked by a stranger.
Possessive is not a prerequisite to all nature.
If she hustled away every coin for her current despicable appearance,
Would his fists mangle into the renegade degenerate?
He ,sitting on a cracked pavement, sipping beer 9% proof distilled hops poison
The brain canters away with a wild neigh, a hurdle jump to late to plummet off the mezzanine ?
Money talks .
Yes, your majesty,
The Queens face-discordant in all apparitions injects a dose of annus miribilis.
Scarlett wife Disorderly conduct causes a head to head, bollocks to a curtesy,
Sight convinces the reality of her hand gripping onto a can of mace.
Artistic expression insists on splashfuls of colour of cans .
Expressive language told in graffiti.
Stand back — look at the words staring at you on the attack
What is respect ?
No dictionary to hand. Examples pour out without definition.
Pleasantries, thank you , cups of tea, good nights, mechanical nav app claiming
Quickest reroute to I love you,
Is it posse of homies fist bumping in homage to the lionized mane with blue blood paw
Together-slumber in king size
Flesh remains languorous to the swirl prints of human touch-
Mistaken identity chickens both fear to lose more feathers
Life division — soul mates obliterated by differences in decorum ethics.
Always the sophisticate — the crowd whispers nectar grains of gossip behind whimsical fans.
She is the fallen angel , notorious for the malaise in her head,
Milked by onions far future veiled tears and a survival credits demeanor .
The pair adore the honeyed bee with cotton blue eyes –
the enigma who keeps their fates sealed in bondage
Arrange one another like a book end seeking outwards ,
a common agenda arise
Pleiades siren sisters heard mewing departing with the breath of dawn
tangerine hues , salmon pinks,
Creative muse leads the joint pair to rip at each other until both are mere bits of itty bitty jagged ,torn up pieces.
No clean break.
Wind takes a pile of their stake
People fall out of love everyday.
Better opportunities appear in the sky line at sun
Save but for this,
Passion misaligned enough to impart a spiritual kiss.
Scarlet answers to his tonic inflections — atonement persists every other day.
heinous tumor clots the mind by a sprinkle of a spell hypnotic
The poltergeist won’t make a proposal with a smudging kiss -so dreadfully emphatic!
Compromise to exercise the practice of sabili.
Feverish tug of war discourse breaks out in lieu of discordant decibels strung out on opiate sentences.-
Night terrors channel the unblemished one onto hang mans cliff, one foot away she is from tumbling to the state of alone.
How can we humans get it so wrong for so long?
Hearts motivation is seeking for a state of a rose petal bed sensation
Yearn that the fleeting soul mate would over estimate his worth.
Indeed change his own faith perhaps even his fate.
No frown lines
Don’t mean no problems.
equality determined by duvet covered up underscores
Old Ben ticks a version of rock.
seize a raconteur to reveal a mandatory position of bondage-alternating positions to top-
Knowledge of new positions verbalized in consumption — a crescendo of orgamsic crowning
Don’t you think it’s fascinating we can live in cramped states and boxed ticks?
Fairies move out appalled by love birds sudden screaming in Tourettes tics
Strangers bound by vows and contracts have perfunctory sentiments ,
Know her soul — possess her ,emancipate her from well coined ferry man ferrying crowds over the river of sty.
she needs the force of a Minotaur-
Amygdala explosion — irrational welts to a few tossers , no burial for those who disrespect a generous gender-life givers-vessels for the lucky few
Respect is a two way street.
A part can disappear to a sudden gasp of disappointment clad in veil-hidden-
Though some part still exposes her skin announcing she’s prepared to paint a mural — decipher their own teasing ,high hopes for their Art.
He needs a stability, no hand palms lined with haphazard crosses-
Nor to the cosmos antagonizing the make up of her spirited sum
We – love is what ? a dessert homemade , multiple attempts to attain the taste of perfection
To understand the the meaning behind the effect of not giving a shit about garlic breathe.
We fall in love-
we fall out
we don’t love
Love shouldn’t have a contract of pre determined conditions.
Feisty souls-what will happen when they reach past there 30th mile stone?
All blasphemous bathe in water infected with parasites of bloody rouge delighted to succeed leeching on a new host — a corruption life draining feed
is this enough to see them through the next phase-a turnstile or direction that doesn’t rewire an IQ test
emotional intelligence — hear her lilted accent
Manipulations, guilt — disappointment-
She commands brutal truth in — communication
Not the bullshit that she is the get down momma.
Big up her soul — she won’t trust words wrapped in silk feathers made by the wife of the bent over farmer.
Troubled is this state of terrain .
life epiphany moments can unify a bond lost to an inventory of savage materialitisic scum
The body is infected
Damn woman, screwed up everything from the moment she puffed out a perfect Oh breathe , the day at her party of existence.
Which way to go?
Look at the neighbors garden — all flowers and herbs cultivated with hands green hue glow.
Tender, patience — imagine a perfect relationship.
It’s easy to forget the good times when Cerebus wakes up-
dodging three eyeballs — accumulate by the sense e of fear-causing blood to boil in heinous state of haemorrhage.
Reminisce the spaces with laughter , moments of frisson, an out line of a future that didn’t appear another gilded prison.
Vow to be a sensual, thought after action man
Vow to be a lady who will cite and recite her promise .
re read the words spoken amount attuned bird chirping,
Above an audience not hidden by a curtain-breaking down every wall.
They recite their vows
Explore the true meaning,
Speak them out loud
Reconnect – her proposal to fight for their future far from the hostile terrain cartel.
Heard the one about instagram being cocaine delivery service ?
Nah! I just go for the pictures, personally but the deep dark web -hides
mews of creatures -deep- internally.
My world luxed out with a sunny day.
A line scented with silver
made for an olfactory disguise – remnants of rotting fish odor .
Murdered a child – fetus borne out of a reflux screaming match.
Woke up alive -bloated tummy and a 5 month walking nightmare-
It’s a boy – he secreted into every orifice
Allowed insanity to become my better face.
Overdosed on affirmations
never have regrets
Turned around and married a man likened to the son of god
Fallen angel -I am
The humor isn’t lost.
Lets do a rewind – I’m allowing requests.
Here I am typing…
writing – spouting off words
Maybe one day it will all make sense.
My latest recorded spoken word. It’s rather amateur. It’s also rather fun! RAH!
Have a fab weekend. Do what you got to do to keep that heart alive – peace out!