Always look up

Hola!

‘Always look up wherever you go – those who walk with there eyes to the floor miss out on so much of life’ 

DAISY XOXO

DAISY GOES INTO BUSINESS:

What a palaver!

I spent weeks working on trying to figure out a way to sell my products on a free WordPress template.

A lovely friend of mine suggested – Wix and e -commerce.

I was in entrepreneur, creative business utopia until I had to learn the system …

It’s been challenging. It is still a challenge but I am seeing progress and, I am getting so excited for when we finally go live.

 

fd0262d4bc4e17b6d585b5a691f9e176

SMALL MOTIVATIONAL REMINDERS 

 

DAISY DOES HER MASTERS:

If you have followed my previous posts on from the start of doing my MA,  you will know it has been an ocean of tidal waves and tsunamis and, high tides and low tides.

These still waters of mine run deep.

My First TMA (tutor marked assignment)   Act one of a stage script about a homeless couple received a CLEAR PASS  of 62%

There were tears, miscommunication, fall outs, despair and I lost confidence in my writing abilities.

TMA 2 ( my second genre -Fiction writing)  I wrote a supernatural piece about a girl who (accidently) commits suicide.

Lat night, my tutor emailed me to say she was having an issue submitting my marks via the online system and she didn’t want me to start worrying, so, she copy and pasted all the feedback and my mark into an email.

She gave me useful and extensive advice on what I propose to write for my EMA ( end of module assignment due in May 2017)

The second act to the homeless couple script.

Eeeeek! 

I do feel more supported, understood, challenged and more confident in achieving what I want to do with my writing for this piece.

Oh, the results for my TMA 2

82%   a HIGH MERIT.

I’m back to the marks I was getting when I was doing my final year of my BA in the Art and humanities.

I need to keep this momentum going. I don’t want to find myself under merit territory again.

348ecd3239a4328facae3c75fce9f32d

I invest a lot of time in people and the things and causes I dedicate my time to.

 

DAISY DOES VOLUNTEERING:

One thing I have had to put on the back burner is helping to  co-facilitate 12 weeks of WRAP (wellness recovery action plan self-management program) with the EIP   ( early intervention prevention ) team for people diagnosed with at least one episode a psychotic episode

I’m gutted. There were many issues that led me to distance myself from this.

Two being:

Issues of funding and logistics.

I enjoyed meeting up the people I was going to work with. I loved their energy and enthusiasm.

A lot was promised and then not delivered.

 I felt the need to email my colleagues and tell them what I thought about how the course was put together- I was my usual blunt self and not very diplomatic.  Ooops…

I feel that if the NHS ( national health system) in the U.K. expects results from a new therapy or a new way of self-help/lifestyle and illness management program, then scrimping on pounds is not helping promote or inspire that WRAP works.

In the long term WRAP  (run properly) will most likely save the NHS money.

As far as I’m aware- nobody knows what is going on with this current  WRAP workshop. I haven’t fallen out with anyone. I can’t give all my energy into something if everyone doesn’t  have the same vision.

For me, it needs more planning and preparation and I’m not going to be that person who just turns up to volunteer at a workshop to go –

‘Oh look at me, I’m making a difference’ – when I know, in my heart, the results this particular workshop can have on people’s lives if  it is implemented properly.

giphy (7).gif

 

I’m currently putting my energy into other charities I work with to see how I can help them.

DAISY GOES TO HER FIRST SESSION AT THE  ACTING PROGRAMME WORKSHOP :

I wasn’t nervous until I got to the place. I arrived early. It was bitterly cold and I hate the cold.

It turned out to be incredible.

We did a few  Actor warm up activities such as being aware of filling the space and being aware of other Actors around us.

We did some improvisation and using our body exercises to convey emotion.  Loads of fun!

What a lovely bunch of people. I am definitely going to the next session next week. We all seem to have common goals and everyone is so unique and interesting.

66749847

UNEXPECTED SURPRISE ALERT:

There is a possibility we may (or may not) put together a little something to perform to students at the university after the 8 weeks.  How awesome is that?

I do try and keep up with you all on here. It has been difficult but the more knowledge and confidence I gain in the above  areas of my life – the more time I will  get to have fun- one being reading blogs and blogging random stuff

DAISY LIFE UPDATE:

 It was my husbands birthday on Valentine’s day. We have a sleigh bed!

hi ho!  hi ho! it’s off to bed I go – ha ha! It’s massive – king size!

10499222_1501536403412291_85805895_n.jpg

After the mid-term school holidays in February, my Bella – my daughter will be joining Year one ( she is in reception at the moment)  for her reading and writing class.

She has two mates with her who are excelling just like her and she is a bit of a whizz kid at Maths.

DAISY’S MENTAL HEALTH UPDATE:

Long story short. Pushing other people’s buttons to get an honest answer has been difficult -emotionally- to sit with – without trying to avoid the emotions by self-medicating.

I’ve been angry at myself for nearly destroying the best thing  I have in my life- my family – because, I believed ( with help) that someone cared more about me than they actually did.I put a lot of my energy into helping a person when they had a meltdown last year. It all got thrown back in my face.

f4ff4defe40bdb17c4930c4f297d4e0b

I finally know the truth. That is all I ever wanted. Now, it’s time to let sleeping dogs lie.

That’s it – all very boring but it’s all happening

Physically. I’m eating better and I have more energy. I haven’t lost weight which is something that terrifies me equally as putting on weight does.

 

36186390-368-k525336

 

Janus of global slang

Inspired by lyrics – it’s not exactly physics.

Big boy –

little boy – atomic bomb decoy don’t come across as coy.

Paranoia looming over -like a shadow with no owner.

Scented thoughts hanging outside on the line of laundry –  drying out, pegged up,

  sketchy – out of the ordinary.

The demise of senseless beatings – the savage frolic in secret meetings.

Can’t keep my eyes open – Mind is wired to sense alert token.

Add a word to the vocabulary list. Reading made up stories can’t get the gist.

Thinking of all the times I’ve reinvented my speech

just so folk wouldn’t turn away

mistake me for a blast of mist.

Solar plexus, libra – balances my ails,

 if vaccines worked would I even need this skeleton tail?

I’m proficient in scripted fulminate – A non- believer has to have a reason to detonate.

Terrorized by bones on hinges, pelvic oddities, a face grappling on the fringes.

Uncertainly – you can do it! Mascot duty – you blew it.

Evey day the output becomes more – input audios in a  fervescent roar.

Fading into a numb place slowed down by brain freeze swimming in a shoal  – no empty dregs to fill my soul.

Restricted by my own limitation – Hear me when  I say I’m not doing this for inspiration.

What to do in a world knocked into  askew?

Nondescript, blinkered – all-seeing eyes – know when to usher in the seasonal yule.

nonsense, no sense, prop me up – inhale oxygen and don’t give up.

Against my better judgment – I’m imploding from the inside.

I had it all figured out until I became a seeker in need of washed out make -overs from dead flotsam at low tide.

*Inspired by internal conflict and the world.* 😀 

sizedimage.png

the You! fallacy

Just jotting my thoughts. I’ve been prompted to make a complaint.

little four eyes when you were half your current size -why did you doubt yourself so?

Looking back to a densely plotted past – hazy.

What would you have done knowing all people doubt themselves even if it means you becoming the foe?

‘Have no regrets’ – the tagline of the present.

no regrets, no regrets, no regrets.

When you are looking at granny in a catatonic state, unable to walk or talk. Fragments of images of people now gone, tell me you won’t wonder how life would have played out by taking assertive bets.

Complaints department – sizeable queue. What can we do to answer people’s feuds?

Create a passage for people to commit to taking responsibility for themselves, sign that in ink and wrangle with their own moods.

Blame everyone.

You!

You,

and you!

well…… the list unfolds until it reaches the flaws of flooring.

Finger pointing in every direction. Buckle up, prepare to look within and see how far you can go when you begin to see only you can change your state of deploring.

Control comes not from puppeteering others. Cut loose – let the strings fall.Let people walk,

hell! let them figure it out-  leave them to crawl.

Worry about how you are going to make it. What you need to do to advance in the dance – motions to elevate and bypass the savage instinct to maul.

How many complaints is your God of choice dealing with?

in Her brassic attempt to fulfill everyone’s wish

Did it ever occur to you to get off your indignant knees to check out the employment vacancies for extras needed to help your  God succeed in appetizing your particular dish?

Stop giving control to others to fix your problems. You have a brain, how much has been wasted?

Think of the energy and time used in a  futile attempt to get people to see your view,

the moment before the curtains go down you have become the finale unstitched,  obtusely basted.

What do you do to make this world a better place?

What do you do to help us people stay in the race with human grace?

Life is never going to get easy – you’re never going to be 100%  fulfilled. There will always be a doughnut sized whole to fill.

Do you even know what it is you need to fix yourself?   In monetary terms, you will have to pay for your own self- advocacy bill.

Money, time and energy well spent making you a person who can figure out how to make sense.

Dig deep and take a deep breath-  Don’t be afraid to be a master of your own success.

To run away from your potential achievement will be your greatest offense.

 

jjj-2017     THANK YOU TO  SHAN JENIAH and LINDA FOR KEEPING ME IN A WRITING HABIT.   WORD PROMPT:  COMPLAINT  CLICK HERE TO TRY IT OUT.

Necessity bares echo

It’s easy to get caught up in the negative jumble yard sale and pick up everyone’s  discarded trinkets or  junk. Gladly, I’ve handed over my money – my energy and the energy of the  remnants of the previous owner’s objects stain my fingertips.

The swirly parts on my fingertips- the ones that make me one of a kind – mutate into something I am not.

Ghost-like.

” call the Priest -exorcise this impurity.” 

How do we pick up other peoples junk that looks pretty and appealing, without losing our confidence, and faith in who we are and who we have become?

It sounds so clinical to state:

 get a pair of synthetic gloves on and retain your true essence- don’t allow the memories and beliefs of others,to  poison your very own mind.

But, isn’t that artificial ?

I pride myself in baring my soul. Telling it like I see it. Standing up for my beliefs.

I get shot down  many times-  Cry for a bit – tell the world:

“I give up! ”  

Then the boomer rang effect inevitably comes  back around – smashes me in the head with the haunting words  “I give up!” 

I hear this echo .

” Oh no, you don’t.”

 I start counseling this echo – It’s distant from  me, not me.

 I don’t  have to take my  own advice if I have released it into the universe in one exclamation of defeat.

It’s a reverse psychology technique that works its groove on me. The equivalent to some hot guy actually bumping and grinding against me and not pissing me off.

A feat that is almost impossible.

It doesn’t sound like my voice. I can  give the echo advice. I can “big it up”

I can talk to  it into standing up and fighting for its right to be heard and I tell it

“You can evolve from a mere echo – fuck narcissus literally or metaphorically and leave him to it. “

“Let him drown in his reflection – pooled – snookered. chalked – marked . boxed in.”

“Chump.”

When you challenge what others say about you , to you or what they think of you – you may come across as confrontational  and emotional -defensive even.

 Only you can allow yourself the chance to evolve from an echo that gets lost in the underwater caves – that will  die when the tide comes bubbling in.

Don’t let it die in the spindrift.

 Let it evolve into a voice.

Your voice can speak on behalf of so many who don’t even know or  even have to know what you are doing.

It’s allowing growth to occur – it’s building character.

Someone , who hasn’t found their voice yet- somewhere down the line – possibly living  the bear necessity life, will hear it.

It could come from another voice  – passed down like a traditional story  Isn’t that how stories first evolved?

Isn’t that people first learned how to take  in information that we feel is important to pass down ?

Isn’t that why we can write paint, talk, act, dance, move , protest, make peace, argue ,debate, remember,honor,  create?

It  can take one person to blow apart everything I have worked for.

 I throw out my’ I  GIVE UP’ boomerang  – it comes back  in another form

I write about it- moan , grumble, collect evidence to fight my very own standing rock.

I,  too need clean  water to live.  Pure Air to breathe.  I need passion to live.

If I allow one character to crush my passion – what then?

What was the point of  baring  my soul to the world?

Of  not being ashamed  airing all  of my experiences, who I am  and what I’ve done ?

 Hang  out my entire newly washed, passion fruit scented lingerie collection ,in the densely packed  , over populated jungle I live in . Free to be dissected, analyzed, mocked ,admired ,mimicked, ignored.

I write plagued with doubt .

 I hit publish.

I take the time to thank the people who inspire me and get me, and then all of a sudden – the world – parts of energy sense a spirit giving  out and not holding back.

These  energies group together , have a cup of herbal tea and a catch-up and then -I get an email – validating my  voice, what I do.

I get a:

” Wow thank you – I needed this – I can’t accept it in the way you want me to but I will give you this….

 compromise.

This gives me the strength to fight my wars, my battles – a new era begins tomorrow.

I’ve developed lock jaw – not letting go of this one just yet.

I want to see what doors close and what doors open

I want to see the lights illuminate the path I am on.

If only to see the shape of it;

my future.

 If I can’t see that – I have no hope.

Without hope, I have no beat-  then it is time to call in the clubs and spades.

So, give up , take a  breather , read the terms and conditions, ask for feedback from more than one source, look at those around you- those strong people who manage to carry on with a smile their on the face.

I don’t know the outcome of this particular situation or most situations I put myself in.

 I do  have a goal no matter how blurred.

I do know I have to  go  into every experience with an open mind, a solid form , confidence, boldness and the idea that:

I may be wrong,

or

I may be right.

Maybe a bit of both ?

socsbadge2016-17.png

 

There can be only one.

STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS SATURDAY AT LINDA G socsbadge2016-17

* not my usual style of writing*

 

When someone has said to her:

 oh, you’re pretty.

She always gets mad and ditzy and insulted.

Is that all ,pretty?

 not beautiful ,funny, smart, intelligent , dramatic?

Pretty crazy…

that fuels her embers –

I’ll show you pretty. 

Pretty demeaning is how I  would describe her state of mind.

She’s come to that crossroad: hit a right for success or hit a left for back to her ‘usual isle of distress’.

She’s always had this pretty dark quirk in her nature- a dent .

No!

 More like her nature took a key to her brain – triggered it in  the same way a malicious person keys a person with a fine automobile or new car.

That is what she does to her mind. It’s almost like there is another- living inside her . She’s not pretty .

She is ugly .

She says ugly things .

She makes people cry.

She pushes people away.

She isolates herself .

She knows it will end up  wrapped up in stained sheets of her own  self-pity cries .

Ones she pushed for – ones she earned.

She never liked herself – wouldn’t have her own picture taken for a long time.In hatred, she tore up all pictures of herself ,

then sometime in her life she grew confident and started taking lots of pictures of herself -too many .

Maybe she was beautiful stunning,   pretty even ?

  Was it worth the self-damnation she put herself through to achieve a look she deemed is acceptable?

Many people have asked her what it feels like  to be so intelligent and aware of her issues- to have so much insight and phycology into her own problems.

Is it a blessing or a curse?

Let’s try something .

Think of a person coming to her house with a bottle of wine/ cocaine /pills/ bondage style stuff/ comic books – insert vice/ fetish /escapism tool  ………..here.

Let’s make this person -super – pervy -sleazy -gender? unknown.

PERVY PERSON: So,  like ,hey why the long face? ( stream of consciousness brain has become lame)  You , uh … wanna get wasted ?

She does get caught off   guard sometimes not always.

The truth is these days her reply is mostly,

No.

Why?

She’s a stubborn mare .

Truth?

She knows the consequences .

She knows the problem is burrowed deep within her – nothing but her can make it stop.

Pretty lame?

or,

Pretty courageous?

Either way, she has to live with herself.

So ,  she gets the whole escapism psychology .

She has taken countless overdoses, countless drugs, been in various institutions – locked up for being herself -criminal or “just” insane.

It doesn’t work.

Why does she push people away?

Why ?

She knows about her upbringing and she can’t blame them or that or it.

Or the others- this is not a horror movie!

It’s her life.

Yeah, agreed. Pretty horrific.

She is an adult- with her own mind and life and responsibilities.

Her pretty demented reasoning is : eventually –   she will hurt those she loves and she would rather things got horribly ugly-

sooner rather later.

She doesn’t want to draw it out.

Oh, darling , Don’t let her fool you. She loves acting!

She can do one hell of a supernova act if  she wants but she isn’t malicious – something inside her is disturbed.

It may have come with her when she got delivered on a wonky legged stork,

or,

she may have seen something that petrified her into this state of self-destruction.

She loves to sing twinkle twinkle little star to her only child.

Stars are huge.

She knows why people always say before they die or, to someone who has recently  lost someone

There is the person you love – twinkling above – looking out for you. 

Stars have a lifespan of billions of years. It’s pretty amazing to think she  quite  possibly looked at the very same stars that her great grandparents or ancestors looked at many moons ago.

( singing) When you wish upon a star…. know that once she did so same from afar.

Ha – pretty lame as it gets.

Ever thought what it would be like to have a child /ren who are siamese twins?

Say you could only possibly save one.

One was seen as  truly wicked and the other?

Well, the other one could go on to make his/her mark in the world.

 Maybe not with a fancy career but merely by  being human.

 Reaching out to people in need.

It can make a difference!

 Sometimes more than all the money in the world could.

Just knowing someone cares. What does she  know.

I digress, – -in a pretty way – ha ha.

Think of yourself as a mother -as a person with some kind of intellect .

You would reason that no person is born inherently evil or absolutely good.

There are many sides to a person.

 Inside her is her very own siamese twin.

She has to put one down .

 Murder it!

In  that moment,that pretty wicked one has a grip on her heart and her mind – it’s all so terribly confusing and frustrating

So ,she has to make a decision.

 Invasive surgery for, no – on  her siamese twins, in the hope, that the one with the potential to twinkle can be reborn.

Good by, Red dwarf. Be angry.

Good by, white dwarf -cool down.

And finally, ciao ,Black dwarf –   your true composite make up  is on show for all to see.

Your heart is blackened –  not because you are evil.

It’s just the nature of how life (and those who energize and roam  it)  goes.

 

 

 

 

Wanted: A compliant female with her head screwed on

“if she is willing to screw you, like you or date you -He can’t handle the truth and question’s why- so is She crazy or is He just being a dickhead for calling her crazy ( for seeing something in him -he is obviously having a hard time coming to terms with ?”

DAISY WILLOWS

SOMETHING TO LISTEN TO WHILE YOU READ

When like me, you are a second generation-er of hooking up with men that tend to leave me -wanting more  love.

I  have always thought that more love  is more unkindness , more abuse, more words on how crazy I am am.

giphy (5).gif

AIN’T THAT DEAD ROMANTIC. HE WROTE A SONG ABOUT ME! 

I am working on a new script- themes that crop up are Betrayal -Love – just to name two.

Solid foundations – a tent is not a good one. A stone house is probably a better choice of material.

I then find the first man who treats me as his queen.

  • Honours me

  • respects me

  • loves me

  • accepts me

  • empowers me

  • Dominates me ( when I let him 😉 ) 

I  can’t get my head around it.

Slowly,I am starting to.

I mean ,I married the man who treats me so different from all the others.

 I wonder if he is normal!

giphy (9).gif

HOLD UP! WE ARE MARRIED NOW. WHEN YOU GONNA GET MEAN?

When is he going to start treating me in a way that I have been conditioned to respond to?

Why is it that  even now, a part of me is sad that  I don’t get the respect from those who have never shown me any respect?

All Genders are included in this  question.

Take. Take .Take.

I Give Give give.

I don’t know if this a guy thing but it seems like ‘crazy’ is the buzzword to try and put a woman in her place -if she expresses feelings and does things that any “normal” person would do if that person was in her shoes.

I read this  10 NOT-SO-CRAZY REASONS  WHY MEN CALL WOMEN CRAZY

Here are the ones that actually helped me see  myself as a person. So, here is a BIG

giphy (10).gif

 to  those( not all ) men who think throwing out the crazy word to try and cop out or put me  or any one of my sisters in my/ her place.

 She’s so emotional! F-ing psycho!

If I cry often or during difficult conversations, it doesn’t mean that I’m a crazy emotional mess, it means that I am a human being with emotions that I have invested into that particular conversation. Crying isn’t a sign of weakness, craziness, or hormonal imbalances… so please in God’s name do not ask me if I’m getting my period!

I can so relate to this. If I have invested more of my emotional energy into a friendship , relationship, acquaintance ship, career even, and I get upset when I have fulfilled my purpose to an individual and not got what I was expecting. What does a person expect? If I don’t cry when we are having a difficult conversation. I may be  trying to take in what has been said and let my heart catch up with my mind.

We all internalise and externalise our shit in different ways. One guy I gave my body  and mind too, in the hope of gaining his friendship,made out like I was off my fucking head because I asked for certain drugs to block the pain and guilt of what I had done ,after his ‘I have just fucked you. Here is why it can’t work’speech.

“If  you can’t chill out with Valium then you are seriously fucked up.” said He.

This was said as a follow up to his

” I  only smoke weed day in and day out and have Ketamine/MDMA  every couple of weeks or so.”

Heads up this guy has serious Addiction and relationship issues himself.

“I don’t really drink anymore” – I look around the house- it  is a tip , empty alcohol cans ,bottles and remnants of ‘a party I had two days ago’, said He.

 

DOUBLE STANDARDS ALERT .

giphy (7)

She flipped out when I left my dishes in the sink…she’s nuts!

If I get angry at you for feeling taken advantage of, it doesn’t mean I’m uptight and crazy, it means that sometimes I don’t want to be treated like an indentured servant or a sex slave. You’ve had a long day? So have I, and looking cute or being sexy while cleaning up your mess isn’t exactly on the top of my priority list. Anger is fine for men, yet when women express it, we are donned crazy.

This one doesn’t just have to be about dishes. It does seem  true that  Anger in men is fine, encouraged even. I have been an instigator of this myself.

“MAN UP” says I.

 A woman gets Angry and lashes out !

Why is that crazy or anything less validating than a man expressing his emotions?

Some Men just don’t understand women at all.

It is easy to run away and point a finger and say ‘it is her- me I have my shit together. PLEASE LOOK AT YOUR FUCKING LIFE

giphy (6)

She’s left me like 10 messages demanding that I call her back!! She’s not understanding the brush off!!

If I continue to call or text after no response from you, It doesn’t make me crazy for not getting the “hint”, it makes you a child who refuses to take accountability or responsibility for your feelings/lack of feelings. I know you don’t want to talk to me. I deserve to have that conversation even if it’s difficult for you. And at this point I’m desperately hoping you pick up the phone just so I can hear the terror in your voice. What exactly are you afraid of? Honesty? Grow up!

This is one, when I read it – A light switched on for me . Yes, I may have sent ineligible texts, nursing my heart with benzos and alcohol at  the time, decided it was a great idea to text a person who I needed answers from. When I was picking up the pieces.It  was a hard for me to be objective about the texting. It wasn’t a side I like to see in me. I looked pathetic.

Until I read the above. I think me wanting answers is not unfair and this is when I finally realised just   who I had invested so much time into –

Some  Boys think life is a game.

giphy (8).gif

LOOK AT ME . I’M LEVELLING UP! 

 Men know when it’s time to get  honest and talk without their dicks.

You’re a crazy bitch but ya F—- so good I’m on top of it!

If I enjoy sex and I know what I like it doesn’t make me a crazy slut, or just plain crazy. An important part of being a woman is knowing your body, knowing your limits, and not being afraid to ask for what you want. People have kinks and preferences. Adages like “crazy in bed means crazy in the head” is just another way to make women feel badly for being exactly who they are. We are constantly told not to be ordinary, normal, or boring, so when we embrace our not so boring side we shouldn’t be feared and shamed. Grow up and embrace the sexual revolution boys! A real woman should be confident in bed, no matter what her preferences.

Yeah, what I have to add to this as a woman is,a  I grow as a woman , sexually gaining confidence in myself, not needing alcohol or drugs to fuck.

Men rarely make any apologies for wanting to fuck me. When I show I can take control and say this is what I want and no I don’t like to be treated mean.

Some  guy’s seem to  love that, until………………..

they  cum.

Then, it feels like if he didn’t make his bed the first time – he sure as hell is not going to start now.

So he starts back pedalling. His spine goes as limp as his most erect penis .

That is a bit cruel. Maybe I indulge a man’s ego because I don’t want to say.

“I can’t feel a thing. Are you actually in yet?”

Maybe, I have had a child and slept with many or a few  dudes or maybe I am just used to bigger cocks.

giphy (4).gif

  STOP THE SLUT SHAMING!

She says she’s in love with me…she must be crazy!

Lastly, If I tell you that I love you chances are I do…or at least I think I do. Falling in love with someone is difficult. Admitting to it, is even more difficult. Don’t belittle my feelings. Don’t give me reasons not to love you. And don’t, by any means, stick around if the feelings aren’t mutual. I love you..there I said it…so either be a man and dive into this thing with me, or be a man and walk away. And remember, if after you’ve made your choice, (to stay and love me or to walk away) I am a crying mess, I’m not crazy. I’m just human. 

Even if this is said by a drunk women texting. She may not love you – she may  just have ” complicated” feelings for you.  She may say she hates you in the next text.

Rejection sucks. Ever been there?

The biggest cop out is ‘it is not going to work but of course we can be friends’   two days later -unfriended with no answers.

Finally, be fucking specific.  CRAZY is such an umbrella term.

She’s constantly drunk. ( daisy adds when she is around him)

“She got hammered last night and was completely crazy.”

Do you mean to say, “She has an issue with alcohol abuse?”

That’s very different from being crazy.

If she’s constantly drinking that much and losing her sh*t, you might have some more serious problems to deal with other than her “craziness.”

giphy (11).gif

OOPS SORRY….. I DON’T KNOW WHAT CAME OVER ME. 

I tend to write what I know. I already have the dramatised scenes but I like to get more creative and make it original,  when I put pen to paper and get my draft down, then  the editing process starts. Characters grow the more I write,what they say to each other, the more the plot develops,.

I started reading these articles because I am looking for motives for who at this present is -the Antagonist – this could change.

I was so fixed on the Antagonists good qualities and the Protagonists bad qualities. I needed to find balance.

Characters and  real people all have light and dark in them. No person is wholly good or wholly bad.

 

Tarte tatin is Art

You, my dear, are an aesthete 

You get that heat emanates from the heart , especially when it has skipped seven, missed beats.

The beasts of practicality  try  cast a terrible tone on your latest work  in aesthetics.

A sensitive ear is highly tuned to tease out the very  best in their  unintelligible phonetics.

Jump leads,

Scart leads.

Turn the television   off , inspire an imaginative outburst to make a proud Keats. 

Onion peels,

Cart wheels.

Feet in the air ,lessens the chance of crying a river -full ,making a pitiful dent in a poverty starved body -craving for  even half of a star struck critics  cuisine meals. 

Hand made beads,

Money needs,

Beauty besmirched by a simple swipe – unlucky, are those who  hold  their cards to the heart -almost  touchingly near.

Bluff or blush – which makes me want to call you out as my Dear?

Sensitivity, 

Life’ s arched enemy.

Not in a way that a mountain raises it’s brow the the skies,

This is military warfare , bows and arrows-  sharp, jutted out pairs, cutting out a perfect line of  lies.

Imperfection,

Cursive defection

The common tart can see beauty, lying down ,eyes facing upwards,making imagery out of clouds.

Everything is ineligible until someone takes the time to see ,understand -shed the cloak that brings fog so thick -it shrouds. 

Arms crossed,

Minds lost.

Never apologise for seeing beauty in all that touches your senses.

Who else is going to find a world where we can teach people that Art is not about putting up strict defences?

WORD OF THE DAY 

sizedimage (1).png

Definitions for aesthete

  1. a person who has or professes to have refined sensitivity toward the beauties of art or nature.
  2. a person who affects great love of art, music, poetry, etc., and indifference to practical matters.

Citations for aesthete

A fanatical aesthete to the end, Kessler never diverged from the young Nietzsche’s belief that art justifies life.Alex Ross, “Diary of an Aesthete,” The New Yorker, April 23, 2012

… the next week they were bustling out of an upper Macquarie Street parlour with pad & paints, trying to look oh-so-very-much the Professional Aesthete, but–in rotten old twill trousers & course old canary coats, with mangy hair rough-hacked & poxed skin stubbly–inevitably failing.Richard Flanagan, Gould’s Book of Fish, 2001

DICTIONARY.COM

socs-badge-2015