My blog (that I share) has always been about ‘keeping it real’ and being authentic to myself. I never started out my blog think ing – YO This is the shizzle- (as my mate Lou says). And then expand my blog to include other passions and interests on Art, mental health, politics, ideas, poetry. I’ve started writing what I’ve ahem.. coined borderline poetryor IN-YER face poetry, done a couple of open mic nights and delved into recorded spoken word projects and film projects.
I wrote/write about the shit going on in my head. I t was and still is a way to get all the crap sifting around my head out and into the written form. It’s a creative outlet.
I call this method of writing ‘Write to recover’ -I often us stream of consciousness techniques. I try not to overthink what I type.
I believe in the quote.
The truth is stranger than fiction
I don’t know about any of you…
But I’ve lived a long and colourful life (I’m not bitter, I wear my heart on my sleeve )
I’m just trying to do what I need do to get by.
Music is a full-time love of mine. I want to get into music journalism. I want to write about album reviews and singles.
I have the opportunity to know something many dope and creativists (creative people). who have so much to share. I get the opportunity to do interviews.
I am passionate about interviewing all artists – painters, D’J.’s, film/documentary enthusiasts/ photographers – anyone passionate about being creative.
It is as a bonus if they are aware of mental health issues. Cos we all should be by now. We need to start coming together as a community.
I believe being creative helps improve our mental sense of wellbeing.
No one is perfect. Don’t knock yourself for getting through and surviving
Here is my thought for the day
If someone is going to treat you like crap. Replace their Ass. Especially if they fall into the non -fam category. Don’t give up on your fam, folks.
Yes, I am still plowing my way through year one of my Masters.
Woop! Running around like a yam shouting May day May day!
That is the month, Year one will be over and done with.
Aren’t you enjoying yourself, Daisy?
I enjoy myself when I see results! Deadlines keep my pressure up and my heart racing.
My next deadline is 2nd of Feb!
I started off with what could potentially turn into a novella with a heavily dense, plotted story about a woman with DID and an Alter ego that wants revenge on a past attack.
All super fab and exciting to research and write but I only have 2000 words I’m allowed to write give or take 10%
I was then inspired by this quote:
JUST KIDDING! IT WAS ACTUALLY THIS ONE.
I spent 12 hours drafting a whole new story about a woman trying to come to turns with an affair/ obsession/fantasy she has (in a group therapy setting). Plenty of surrealness.
Then Christmas happened – Alan Kaprow -‘ it’s a happening baby!’
Not my kind of happening, however, I will admit I enjoyed spending time with my family and friends.
There is a lot in the media – specifically social media about suicide prevention and keeping us humans safe, with telephone numbers to sign post us to organizations who may help if we are having a shitty time.
I think this is fantastic!
It also prompted me to put story two on the back burner and delve into my current draft which is some kind of supernatural -esque piece. I feel I can plot (without unwittingly out plotting myself or my character/s)
There is a lot of internal conflicts which contrasts with the Main characters environment/ the other characters in the piece.
It’s ahem.. fucking depressing to write.
Today, I had to stop twice for a break, it was that emotionally draining to finish the second draft.
It ends in death and a resolution that is reflective, real and tragic.
This is all just my opinion, of course – ha ha!
I’m currently taking advice off of my own Mummy -dearest!
inject the piece with humor, darling. Be witty. You’re a hoot in real life.
People laugh at me not with me. The people who know me really well and see the real me- sometimes do laugh me with me.
I have got a twisted, dark sense of humor and well, let’s hope I can convey it so it translates to the reader marking it. Must work on being funnier. I can do funny in real life
Yes, I’m still going for my first TMA to be reassessed.
OH MY WORDY HAT!
Then, I have the constant worry of my third TMA – another 18-minute play.
I’m exploring doing a piece on a couple who decide to have a baby or try to and maybe the mother can’t make up her mind whether she wants the child or not.
Does she lose the baby?
Does she have an issue with boys?
Does she only want a girl?
What does this bloody woman want?
I’m good at putting in obstacles in the way and creating tension – I put my characters through hell.
Oh, and then we have the final piece due at the end of May.
DareI state, I’m continuing with the second part (or act if you like) of my homelessness couple piece, I started in TMA 1.
I’m swotting up on Brecht, Stanislavsky, Meyerhold, Grotowski, Artaud etc…
Here’s a question: All these (and more) playwrights of the 19/20th century inspired and evolved theater into what we have today.
Immersive theater/street theater/ forum theatre=- the list goes on and on.
These playwrights wrote about and performed plays that reflected the historical time that they lived in.
Why if I say in my commentary that I’m inspired by certain Brechtian techniques? does that automatically translate that I am doing a complete copy cat Brechtian play?
Don’t many successful modern/contemporary playwrights of our time take a bit from different (even contrasting theories about theater) at times, to make something that is relevant to what they want to see performed?
SMALL rant- 😉
Can’t I be inspired by say; Brecht and his ‘estrangement’ techniques and ‘Gestus’ (without using it to the extremes he employed his techniques in his era?
He essentially hated the overly dramatic French and the German style theatre in his time. He lived in one of the most insane times- the communist era, wars, exile etc..
Of course ( because I know what he was thinking -sarcasm alert), he wanted the audience or just one audience member to go home and think a bit more about what they went to watch.
Perhaps, Brecht wanted witnesses 😀 to get the cogwheels turning with questions like
Does it have to end like this?
Did it have to end like this? (in a historical context)
What can I do as a person who has just gone to see a play themed around social issues?
Maybe an audience member/s could come to a conclusion (or not) that maybe their previous ideas (if any) about social change issues comes from within.
Not a government, not other people but from me, you?
Politics are heavy going so a play/ production does need to be entertaining – it’s a tricky pair up to get right.
Sometimes, a member of the audience may (or may not) think:
‘What I am seeing here can’t be a representation of a real person or what goes on in real life -or can it?
That is cool – they are in a theater watching something made up essentially, no?
I don’t know anymore. I’m up to my ears in theories and being creative and trying to stay true to myself and my reasons for writing.
I do have enough sense to think about doing a full on Brecht/Grotowski/insert playwrights name here to show I can do it.
I may struggle- it might not be amazing or great but I can bloody well do it.
My stubbornness does serve me well at times.
Right, rant over.
Tomorrow, I get a small break from thinking about fictional characters. I’m off bright and early to talk about if/how I can help my community with the skills I already have. I don’t need to be a BA graduate or a business owner or a mother or someone studying their Masters.
I merely have to be me! Full of flaws!
I feel so passionate about this project. I don’t want to jinx it by talking about it. I can’t talk about it- It would have to go in my volunteering page- Ha ha!
Please send me your positive vibes, mantras, empowering thoughts – all of that positivity shit. I fucking love it!
I need it – it helps me – it keeps me on the right path.
So, to end this ranty and rather a profane post
I will end in my mantra ( Second year of using it and it hasn’t let me down yet)
” I am successful at whatever I do”
I put the hard graft in too.
Thanks for reading my ranty post.
Peace, love, light and a bit of attitude embellished with hearts ❤ and fleurs.
‘If it is true that soulmates should forever, always remain happy together.
Likewise,forever, together, is a long time for soulmates to remain happy together.’
*EPIC GRINGE* but I have hit publish.. How did I do?
Definitions for chiasmus
Rhetoric. a reversal in the order of words in two otherwise parallel phrases, as in “He went to the country, to the town went she.”
Citations for chiasmus
What Phillips likes best, however, is wordplay. Inversion, circumlocution, alliteration, assonance, chiasmus, paradox: there’s nothing he doesn’t go in for. “The unexamined life is surely worth living, but is the unlived life worth examining?”Joan Acocella, “This Is Your Life,” The New Yorker, February 25, 2013
One well-known example of chiasmus is Quintillian’s purported phrase “one does not (a) live to (b) eat; one (b) eats to (a) live.” … Other examples are Mae West’s “it’s not the men in my life [that matter], it’s the life in my men.” And then there is President John F. Kennedy’s famous phrase, “ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.”Joyce O. Lowrie, Sightings: Mirrors in Texts — Texts in Mirrors, 200
“If you are going to re visit the past make sure you don’t have any expectations. This is the best armour you can possibly have to protect you from disappointment. If you get something good from revisiting the past -it will be a surprise and a blessing” DAISY
I’ve learnt that time is indeed a great healer.
I believe that as long as my intentions are good and come from a good place then I don’t need no particular faith or religion in my life to direct me.
I know inside -already what is right and wrong. I was born with a certain code of ethics and life and the people in my life have helped shape and mould my beliefs and values.
I have got to a point where I am happy with my values and beliefs.
This morning I learnt a valuable lesson.
We are not born evil.
We my do horrific things to each other in our relationships but relationships require hard work , commitment, compromise and respect and trust.
Love does feature and there is a saying that ‘love conquers all’.
I feel this quote can only to be true when we know what true love means and what true love asks of us.
Sometimes we say we love someone, for fear of being alone or because we are scared of not having some kind of attention.
I am so blessed today as every day.
I have a beautiful family and we are all going to be able to take on the same name- the traditional way.
I will still be Willows on here but I will be Mrs Willows and our daughter and me will take on G’s name in the real world.
Today I received some fantastic news about this whole changing of names.
Thank you for not fighting me.
The past is the past.
We are never who we were 5 years ago, 1 year ago, a day ago or even an hour ago.
I was asleep 1 hour ago- not ready for today.
I am now Blogging and getting ready for what I need to get done today.
We can be so ugly to one another when we are hurt, confused, insecure and not stable or thinking straight.
I’m so blessed and grateful I have found my soul mate. We have an amazing child.
In 6 days time I will let go of the name I have had for 34 years and take on a new name.
I’m so excited about this new chapter.
Sometimes we have to die a bit so that we can be re born.
It’s painful to let go and die..
I’m ready to take my first breathe in my new life.
I know it is going to be worth it.
Don’t be afraid of endings.
Be excited that an ending usually means a beginning.
Such is the nature of life.
Like a circle we will constantly go through our ups and downs. We will be at the top of the circle sometimes and at other times at the bottom.
We need this balance .
I needed to feel hurt in order to know true love.
Blessings do indeed come in a variety of disguises.
We-Me and G- have been through so much and I still feel the same way I do about him that I did the first time I met him.
Oh he is a pain in the ass at times, stubborn and well… stubborn..
He respects me more than any other man I have been with.
Trusts me – we don’t have secrets even the worst kind .
“You would think that getting married to a fine man in three weeks time , a beautiful funny ,smart 4 year old daughter, a loving family and a lady with a lot going for her, could never be labelled or be entitled to feeling Depressed or stressed or Anxious- This is not how Mental Health issues work. I try and over come my own illness symptoms by using healthy coping mechanisms. If you are going to give advice -don’t tell a person to shake themselves off. If you want to help -be productive and be smart and help with advising on healthy ways to cope” DAISY
I’ve tried pretty much all my coping skills to get me out of this slump. I won’t give up. I exercised my way out of a panic attack yesterday. Yes, I am meds but it takes time to kick in. I am not great with being patient.
I look at my daughter for strength, I try distraction techniques- these work for a time but the weight of these feelings come back and so every day I put on my armour. Chant my mantra’s and enter the arena -ready for another battle.
Each day- I don’t give in , I know that I am on my way to winning. I’m disciplining my mind. I am not giving up on Hope.
My first quote for the three day quote challenge nominated by
“If you always look downwards you will always see a pavement of despair. If you lift your head up and always look around you and to the sky you will always have many directions to lead a life of every imaginable feeling that is indeed the skies limit “ DAISY
Today I am accepting all the Amaze-balls awards I have received of late.
I am doing everything in my power to shift this tug in my heart and this stake of sorrow that hits the spot and lands on point like the most graceful, macabre Ballerina in all of Mine kingdom.
Nominees ( chosen for how they command emotion and the written word- I love their style of writing)
Ouch, bee sting! What book did you find disappointing?
I was highly disappointed in ‘The Beautiful and Damned’ A Classic Novel by F. Scott Fitzgerald. I hated every single character and it made me re think my obsession with wanting to live the ‘Roaring twenties’ era .
It’s finally warm outside! What book made you want to read more than ever before?
So, I don’t really do reading outside. I get too distracted by the nature. I really enjoyed George Orwells ‘1984’ and I was hooked on the Y.A. novels ‘ The originals’
Shh! I’m getting a tan! What book did you find relaxing?
I don’t tend to read ‘relaxing books’ erm.. I suppose the last book I read that didn’t require too much thought was’ The Paris Wife’ Novel by Paula McLain. I found and loved the depth to the characters and the reference to all the revolutionary readers and artistes that scrambled to Paris after World War one to make some sense of this new world-post war. A surprisingly great read.
Beach party! What book did you just find fun to read?
Again another classic. ‘ To kill a mockingbird’ by Harper Lee- the language used is just like taking a trip to another time. There are heavy themes addressed in the book but I love that the book is taken mostly from a child’s point of view. I loved that I was able to smile even in a book that addresses such heavy themes such a racism.
Cannonball!! What book did you find surprising?
‘ I Am Pilgrim’ Novel by Terry Hayes – This book was written for my inner detective. So cleverly put together. So many twists and turns. I could NEVER have predicted the ending. A terrifying book because it could so easily happen in the world we live in.
Mowing the lawn. What book did you find tedious?
I think that Sylvia Plath’s Bell Jar’ does not live up to the hype. She is a fabulous poet and writer but the ‘Bell Jar’ left me cold. I know it is probably one book I should relate most too – dealing with themes such as Mental illness but the hype around the book didn’t leave me with all I expected. Yes, I guess people surmise she was writing about her own Mental health issues and I find that to be the only interesting part of the book. It may be autobiographical. It is not an awful book -just not epic -in my humble opinion.
So many beautiful flowers! What’s the most recent book you’re happy you picked to buy?
So far ,the one I am reading. ‘The Storm sister’ by Lucinda Riley. So far it has me hooked not to the point I can’t put it down but their is mystery, romance and a look into the mind of a protagonist with a character so unlike myself.
“I’ve learned from my mistakes, but I have no regrets. I use to regret my past wishing that I could go back and change it. But realised that it’s our past that has brought us to the point we are now in our lives; and changing anything in the past, changes everything in our present. With all it’s up and downs I wouldn’t wish give up anything that I have now. My faith gives me strength, my family keeps me grounded, my appetite for adventure keeps me going, and my heart makes me the woman that I am!”
ETTA D. (pen name)
SEVEN FACTS ABOUT ME
Daisy Willows unfortunately is not my real name. I wish it were. It is my pseudonym .
I am not sure whether to tell you my real name or not.
If You Could Live In A Book, TV Show Or Movie, What Would It Be?
I would love to live in the ‘Originals’ series . The Michealson family are the epitome of cool of all the supernatural creatures.
2. Where Do You See Yourself In Five Years?
Still married to the same dude, one or two more kids, a play wright and working in the community creatively with people with mental Health issues and getting paid to do it.
3. If You Could Live Forever, How Would You Spend Eternity?
I would research every illness to find a cure and I would also find the answer and fight for climate change. I would also get to watch my daughter and other kids and my grand children live. I would also visit all the libraries around the world and travel and eat good food.
4.In What Ways Do You Hold Yourself Back?
I am way too hard on myself. I think people think the worst of me.
5.What Was Your Dream Job Growing Up?
I wanted to to a criminal Psychologist and a Criminal lawyer.
6.If You Could Change One Law, What Would It Be?
I don’t do drugs any more but I still would legalise all drugs. Crime would fall , the black market would not be as powerful and un controllable as it is and people would get the correct treatment. Less wars too and less lives lost.
7.What’s Your Greatest Achievement And How Has It Shaped You?
Everyday I push myself, is my Greatest achievement. Every day I make it to the end of the day and have done something I consider important and a goal achieved is my Greatest achievement. Each challenge I put in my way, shapes my character and gives me the courage to push myself in other ways. It gives me inner confidence.
8.If You Could Master One Skill You Don’t Have Right Now, What Would It Be?
I wish I hadn’t stopped learning how to play the piano. I love the piano and I love the violin too. I would love to be an Orchestra conductor . I feel music and it looks like a pretty cool position to be.
9. How Would Your Best Friends Describe You?
Honest, empathetic,strong willed, loving, witty and a pain in the ass.