Wanna know about life?

Honest and upfront is what I do best. I’ve avoided blogging too much or connecting over the last few months because I’ve been hiding a lot of guilt and shame –

so I’ve been doing some thinking.

No stream of consciousness or poetry in this post…

Are you still with me?   ha ha

I write for myself first  and I always will.   When I write for an audience I lose my way easily.

Apologies if this is old news to the more evolved spirits reading this. 😁

Daisy has an epiphany.

I’ve been contemplating on the saying ‘dig deep’

 if you decide to use this quote to get you through an experience

Do you  know  why you need to dig deep?

My humble findings are what follows

Because whether  we become aware and conscious, in this life (or not) about my  proposed notion of  the meaning of the ‘dig deep’  quote

(that’s a bit wordy. ha ha)

here it is:

from our very conception into this life

-Our first breathe – we start to dig our  own grave.

We begin to design the lay out of where our  final resting place  or end will be.

It would epic and less stressful if from the moment we are born we knew  what we are  meant to be doing.

Many  people never figure it out or, if they do  its too late to ask them if they have for obvious reasons. 😞

Many  people decide to choose a saviour be it in the form of an icon – a god, a person , goals – money, love, careers, addictions , etc…

We strive to find something to focus  all of our seconds, minutes ,hours and years blatantly meandering about on this planet.

Be careful who you allow to support you – some people are so busy trying to save everyone else,  ( we all do  it at some point) we forget our first honour and duty is to save ourselves and know our own purpose.

It’s known in psycho babble terms as the dramatic triangle.
Most of use tend to flit between these roles depending on the situation we are in ,people we are around   etc.

To digress,

Many of us go on to  have children who rely on us – depend on us to teach them how to navigate their own path – how to create their own resting place – and to be conscious that each action,

each decision they make has a hand in determining how they will die.

Teaching others to rely on themselves is blessing not a curse.

Only when we are  faced with our own reflection and with no other help but our own resources that we have  collected along our journey in life ; will we know how we will get to the other side or to our end in this characteristic form.

Some off us  end up addicted, or come to  our end at the hands of illnesses like cancer or dementia , car accidents etc.

Many of us are not aware that from the moment we are given independent life we are consistently (for better or worse)  building our own coffins .

is it fair that we are not told this from our first breathe ?

I didn’t make up the rules in life or society.

We – I – can only govern myself and my actions.

Be wary who you try to help or who you accept help from.

Don’t get mad when people let you down

they are doing what they need to do – following their own purpose.

Some  people never find out what their purpose is.

Dig deep.

How comfortable and aware of your surrounding do you want to be  when you take your last breathe in this life.

We create our own Elysium  or heaven or utopia even –

sometimes it’s not what we want –

 but we won’t  know until we are swimming against the tide or even hanging ten and riding the wave.

 I do know that I want to be as conscious and aware of my choices ,limits  when the wave crashes .

My personal  chosen Gods have always been  tangible- in the form of fully crystallised human beings -flawed  just like me.

I think I chose human idols to put all my faith in to

 so  that I can have a go at someone  when “they” 😉 let me down. I want to face my own success and disappointments A-sap . Patience /Sabili is not a strength of mine.

 I need to look at a reflection of myself to determine I exist.

it’s not easy to figure out life- there is probably  more evidence for the saying that instead of trying to figure out life- it needs to be lived – consciously and with purpose.

We can live with purpose and not know if that purpose is right and we can live consciously and not know what out purpose is.

hopefully,  with the aid of  our experiences we can decide which of the  tools  or resources we need to use if/when  we have a “I’ve possibly hit the bottom of my pit”.

How do I bypass this mythical minotaur  I’ve read about?

We wonder  how or,

if we  can

or ,

are able to  crawl out  and up out of it to  place where we can find  some  sense of comfort.
We wonder if we have the endurance, courage and motivation to get out of coal mine

Whether it’s worth finding a running brook of water to wash the soot from  the I side out.

The alternative option is that our final resting place will be exactly where we decide to rest – in this case the bottom of a pit  . State the obvious 😂

Only we  can make our ending  a place where  we feel we have done everything in our power tosit amongst the angels or the gods of Olympus or whatever it is we believe in that will take us through from the beginning to the end, where we can  feel at peace with ourselves.

Some of us – most of us never get to that point.  Downerz 😁😁

I don’t know about reincarnation but I am aware.

Society  tells us it’s a selfish idea

‘ look after yourself’.

Human beings are wired to reach out  but how we do that and to know our boundaries and the boundaries of others is tricky and a part of the dance of life- the cha cha

one step forward backwards thing. I’m full of cliches in this post.

It’s scary to know we are ultimately alone – only we can change our selves – our emotions – our ideas – our path.

It’s hard not to resent others or life for making us so capable and resilient.

Damn  you life! How dare you 😂

it’s easier to choose to not see the bigger plan – the idea that yes we govern ourselves and we must govern our selves and own our actions and our lives.

and at the same time understand that every move /choice/thought we make – has that butterfly effect –

we cause the ripples .

science has come up with a terminology -a language to help us understand our position in this world, our make up , what and how much we are capable of – how much responsibility we all have

How significant just one body made up if molecules is :to the rest of planet balancing out or toppling over –

We have nature to compare ourselves to – an example of what happens when we fuck up our ecosystems – when we put element a somewhere  and take out element b from somewhere else.
It’s trial and error.

We repeat – the cycle continues.

The fear of being alone is a lot scarier than actually being alone

When I am alone left to decide -I choose to swim and come up for air.

I remember that I have walked the earth with legs , I’ve flown and seen the world from a bird’s eye perspective.

I’ve also stayed a rather unglamourous amphibian  thinking I’m in a vast sea surrounded by  a fellow  hybrid form of alluring sirens

I choose to live  another day. I don’t know if my choices are right or wrong – time is what it is.

People in my life , of my life

I love you but I don’t need any of you  In the way I have allowed myself to believe I do.

That’s it.

Do i  decide to fight the battle every day or  fall  back into walking state of  slumber

Soul Selfie

Random thought on a Monday morning

I see a lot of articles about relationships and other people giving you tips/advice if you are dating the right person if that person loves you etc..

The last one I saw – not on here , I will mention.

18 signs you have a good man  and a keeper!

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A thought suddenly  occurred to me:

If I need to go through a checklist of 18 signs written by someone else that I am with the right man/partner, then I must be with the wrong man because I am already doubting I am with a good man.

I decided to trust my gut instinct and scroll past the article.

I already know the answer.

I have a good man. I don’t need another person to tell me 1/10/18 or even 100 reasons why I know I have a good man.

I get it that people do fall into bad relationships and sometimes don’t feel able to Trust their own mind.

I have learned to trust my instinct and go with it.

A true journey of self-growth has bloomed in the Willows.

How liberating.

” Trust in yourself- the first thought that seems right is usually the right one- don’t second guess your ability to know what and who is best for you” 

DAISY WILLOWS

Just a thought.

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Back off to read Blogs.

Have a grand week and trust in yourself and your own decisions

 

 

 

Live it. Sing it. Own it.

HOLA!

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I’m currently on a mission to find balance and instead of posting any old shit. I just want to let you know where the 4-D me is and what I am doing.

I’m still around in the virtual world – mostly in spirit.

I’m levelling up,in  the big, real world.

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I will still be around to:

  • Work hard so I can Play even harder

  • Read  as many of your posts as humanly possible

  • Eventually, do my shout outs  and Thank you’s.- end of the week is my aim.

  • Make sure I get some time with my little girl – squeeze in a bed- time story

  • Share my blog stuff – when I can.

  •  Complete my  WRAP  –  training starts  tomorrow. (9-5pm)

  • Get my first year of my Masters down in CW -click HERE for more info 

  • Get my one of a kind vintage piece accessories sold and banked in el Banco. 

  • Be a good wife- be present when my name gets called out on the ‘I’m present’  register. 

  • Other

Wish me luck on my new adventures. I will have so much to tell you.

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If you want to look this good dancing – it requires hard worker,a sense of humor and movement.

 

 

I’m going to be a WRAPPER– in a way, I never thought possible.

Snoop Dogg lip synching has got nothing on this.

I’m not going to lie. I am terrified of these new doors I have found the key to.

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UNTIL THE FEAR PASSES  ‘MAKE BELIEVE’ 

 

This is my ‘I  can do this song’

I also know that when something scares the crap out of me. It is worth doing.

Everytime.

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Stay sweet.

Stay awesome.

Stay Bold.

Stay Sassy.

You are in competition with no one but your own bad ass self!

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There is a finish line – glory, success, honour, redemption, life, love, happiness, goals achieved.

See you on the other side?

I sure as hell , hope so.

You got this.

Catch up soon.

If you need to email me – do!

daisyinthewillows@yahoo.co.uk

YOLO ( only once that I know of in this world )

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love Daisy ❤ ❤ ❤ 

One more song  to keep you and me on the right path – the good path.

Why?

It makes me smile and happy.

 

 

Empress of Rome.

 

‘If it is true that soulmates should forever, always remain  happy together.

Likewise,forever, together, is a long time for soulmates to remain happy together.’

DAISY WILLOWS

*EPIC GRINGE* but  I have hit publish..  How did I do?

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Definitions for chiasmus

  1. Rhetoric. a reversal in the order of words in two otherwise parallel phrases, as in “He went to the country, to the town went she.”

Citations for chiasmus

What Phillips likes best, however, is wordplay. Inversion, circumlocution, alliteration, assonance, chiasmus, paradox: there’s nothing he doesn’t go in for. “The unexamined life is surely worth living, but is the unlived life worth examining?”Joan Acocella, “This Is Your Life,” The New Yorker, February 25, 2013

One well-known example of chiasmus is Quintillian’s purported phrase “one does not (a) live to (b) eat; one (b) eats to (a) live.” … Other examples are Mae West’s “it’s not the men in my life [that matter], it’s the life in my men.” And then there is President John F. Kennedy’s famous phrase, “ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.”Joyce O. Lowrie, Sightings: Mirrors in Texts — Texts in Mirrors, 200

DICTIONARY.COM

Want to have a go?

Right time to read as many Blogs as I can and then much to be accomplished today.

Have a good one!

 

A Potion for Complicated Emotion.

Moving forwards is easy to say.

Doing it though is rather dreary and I must ask is their a fixed pay?

 

Moving forwards helps take you from the now into the future.

Isn’t that better than being stuck in some outdated timed out computer?

 

Moving on helps you reconnect with family and friends.

Who knew reaching out would receive such a variety of hugs and vocal extends.

 

Moving forwards to heal the heart.

Is not easy when some one has wormed a way in and jolted it to jump start.

 

Moving on is the only way to go .

Its hard, especially when the tears refuse to flow.

 

Moving on when you still want to shake hands with your past .

Sounds mad but the heart doesn’t come with a free pass..

 

Moving on and each day will create more  distance.

Not exactly what I want but some other minds  can’t be controlled by my persistence.

 

Moving on need not mean to forget;

but it allows a space for that person to come back when they are ready to let go of their demonised, imagined debt.

* LEARN AND CARRY ON LOVING. LIFE LESSONS*

Finally,

I am trying to increase my word vocabulary so here goes: Use the word ‘selenotropism in a sentence or phrase.

“My biological make up, dictates that I can’t fail ,for like a flower, even on the darkest of nights, the moon will still shine and guide me to a state of selenotropism” ‪#‎wordoftheday‬

DAISY WILLOWS

The harlot

*A BIT OF A MESS BUT MY MIND STATE IS IN THE NON -PAIN ZONE.  FUCKING PATHETIC. I DID WHAT I NEEDED TO DO. I  got answers*

Heathen !

Thieving!

Scheming!

A women who professes to be authentic

yet all she does is  making her self look pathetic.

The heart connects with what it wants.

Mind comes in with that rational  thought of ‘you can’t’.

Deserve to be  kicked to the gutter.

She can’t even summon up the courage to  talk about it. It all comes out in a garbled a stutter!

“Believe in your self.”

“I know you are scared.”

She only ever wanted to see him fare and succeed in the his own concept of desired wealth.

He says:   “We can’t be in the same room as each other”

For he and her  may just tear their clothes apart again and enjoy skin on skin contact  -She loves to discover.

She walked out like a harlot.

Made her bed and

Oh how she lay in it!

Thorns are necessary to feel the pain of her errant milk maid ,hay, rollicking  moment as Charlotte.

She  is not some good little girl  who knows  how to carve a lie out of  it.

A piece of her heart is not with her.

She left it with another  soul she is not allowed to  bother.

What one wants the other has,

what the other wants the other has.

Slow down.

Be a happy family.

You are going to have to rip this ‘party girl’ crown off her to get some sense of loyalty.

She is the betrayer.

She sows what she reaps.

If that means loss.

Then I guess she needs to stick to her decisions and take the leap.

Questions?

Answers!

“Look into my eyes,”

“did you feel it?”

Or is that her reading into things too much and getting smogged in the thick of this illusory bet?

Illusions and fantasy are all played  out fantastically in the mind.

Put it into practice and she gets to be the one has to deal with her foibles and  his  own “diplomatic”declines.

She am going to make it through it,

no matter what she does.

She is here for a purpose.

Lets make sure it counts and is worth it.

The harlot – the whore.

The one who felt wanted for a whole hour more.

No payment.

Just talk .

Do the right thing.

She  tries but her heart fucking stings.

Blue eyes that pull her closer.

She pull away because she knows that he can let this go and  invite around   medley of his most champion party voters. 

She champions you as she always has,

 She respects your need to get you life in order.

When you  left you,

You never even looked back.

Just another 2 week of holding  onto  your sac.

Its cool..

  When she plays with fire, what must she expect?

 a bunch of  free fries to go with her  Macccie D?

Had more time to cuddle.

The best part was the silence.

It didn’t feel awkward it felt right in the wrongest circumstance.

Feeling alienated from my family .

My friends.

Blue pills and champagne soften the blow.

 Why are we celebrating?

Her perfect timing on how to right and sort out the logistics of it all and tamper with a heart is an epic disaster

-given to me by another.

No butter required!

The harlot pays her own way,just for the record.

Feeling impulsive, doped up and feeling not too shit. She thought she  would wake up in A&E –

Some source has greater plans for her .

I don’t how he can bear to look at her .

She want’s you to know that she  loves You G .

Un done

Doubted this piece but,

Fuck it I’m hitting publish. 

Let it go 

just go with the flow.

My mind comprehends all that I   need to let it go.

I change my physiological state to shock my brain into a newly formed hedge row.

What about the heart ? 

My heart ,specifically?

We all make mistakes and some fail despicably. 

To assume, that one actually cares as much as I do,

was possibly the most arrogant act and now,

I  am that potato, left forgotten  in the stew.

All heart – open to vulnerability.

I better change and put on a longer sleeved T-shirt

to wipe my snivelling tears and rejected mucus  and hurt.

Heart sore.

I’m so naive 

I so believe .

Let it go .

Just go with the flow.

I write because I know that it eases some of this  rejection blow.

Stuck in a vortex with stale , carbon monoxide  breathe.

How can a feeling of rejection make ME want to feel nothing- even death?

This is not me. 

My emotions are struggling against the tide ,

underneath,

 crustal plates continue to move at the bottom of the sea.

Climate change – is the world ready to blow?

Careless.

My  nature is one who hates to be struck through the heart by a clueless arrow.

Why does it matter so much to me?

Why does it matter ?

Why? 

Full rejection would probably make it final.

Give me peace,answer me or just snap the cord – every vertebrae of my spine – break me until……

Stillness;

is all I want in my heart.

I fight these thoughts but my heart drives me into some dark quagmire with loud noises  from creatures that bark.

They snap too -not just at my ankles- but plunge their fisted paws, right inside the most fragile part of me- the part of me that is more like natures own bark.

Trees, flowers , love and hugs.

All worthy drugs from my from  undying lover;

 from someone who loves me even though I am  crying out to be hung.

Cut me loose. 

If you care – or at least answer me – I’ve given my all not just to be flung like Apollo’s impulsive son. 

* what is better ? to be partly rejected or fully rejected? friendships , relationships, acquaintances?  *

What’s that saying about rather  hearing ‘I don’t like you’ than being ignored.

I can deal with  ‘I don’t like you’.