#BeInconvenient

Be a bad ass

roll around under grey skies — make out the back of a conservative party littering the sky with trials of rhetoric crass.

This is Glastonbury.

Where would you choose  to land for a stay in paradise ?

Choose to land in a vessel with a bunch of optimists — no happy clappers — crossing themselves — for having faith in an ecclesial being.

Scientific velocity.

Cause and effect

serendipity.

Late riser — godspeed little  Jahew.

The hare won the final battle — drop a batch of cat nip into that speed walker in denial of its  ferocity.

Dandelion mascots roar out visions of men staking out fresh empires.

Oxygen flavours-

Peach ,Melba , NICE custard, vanilla —the world we live  in  is an incovenient truth .

Mirror your actions.

Be inconvenient.

Rebel military children — turn left when the governments urge you to turn to the right.

Enfant terribles flash a revolutionary  selfie.

Write a summary of your own investigations.

Be the girl that silenced the world for 5 minutes.

United irregulation

 Nebulous globules whitewash  by contactless  autocratic judgment.

Nixon – made jokes about an assassination.

Impeach my derriere in circular tinned  seats — rest will fully for the sign cursive —

 at what point did we misunderstand that a squelch is a tall order  we’ve  asked our  hyper  sensory earthling dwellers to  endure.

Lament for nerves of each  slow death of crustacean .

Wilful blindness — what  degree of spirit level have you  leaned into for  crucification ?

Modern times call for a no nail nails celebration

Yellow roses indicate  a gesture of friendship without the illusion that life can’t be avoided by sudden pricks.

Little but often — tolerance build up  mops up all tears of  solo inaction.

It’s not just me syndrome –  Abandon the anti virus inoculation .

Germ free assholes plugging open mic for their 5 minutes.

colour of bleach –  distress call driven to cling to the skirtboards.

 Times picked up a pace

where even physics  misunderstands sound waves

not even  titled planet’s  children’s pleas of ‘when will we get  there?’   get’s an echo

unless played in reverse.

Influx  of Catholics  priests leaving trails of 30 year old pubic  hairs

Twisted grey –  Sexualised souls.

Perhaps a few of those clams had a chance to spit out a pearl.

The walrus put a stop to that .

Mother nurses her brooding loss over a swim in a tank of gin on the rocks.

7 days it took to rise to this state of rant ism effectual verbalism.

Ginger tea dispelled the myth that my expectations were indeed too great for a scorching third degree inquisition.

Latin languages pour  waxen lyrics  into my ear—honey orgasms.

dada ism and punk causes vertigo to incite a tremour of  silence-

Delirium tilts my glasses askance –

I’m living in world of dirty ole bastards spitting out words that rhyme with a shimmy shammy.

Take me to the broadway headline

 “she’s back in business now. “

Malefactions disorders under control not by  the kaiser state nor the twelve step oracle of fate.

Sobriety comes from a just say no policy.

Hermits don’t need a chorus of you can do it supporters.

matter over what’s on the mind

Mind over what matters.

we are family.

  chanting — watch your latest DNA   protege win the race to the finish post   with that line  in mind

Mystic  seance offering continental table wine and loafs of bread of support —

the language of OOK.  I cannot support.

Soft ware programmes for orang-utans. –

Let words never lose  their meaning

Sometimes we think we want to be understood

but remember how much more fun it is to have a few — put in their unoppressive input.

Sincerely lost all three egos to a winter in Calcutta’s harshest snow.

Climate change —

mood change — the moon has landed-

No body saw the side of Trump the media is willing to show

Messing about with a’ little boy’ – innocently having fun..

No king of the castles and dirty rascals

 Competition lay in who laughed the loudest.

A couple of dying stars gave birth to a twin set — millions of light years away

Name requests required  to ascertain their  current deformity.

Perfect dwarves-

Theseus and Selene

Godparents put up a banquet  on a strip arrested by brazen lights .

Bring your best boulder and limbo moves — Caesers palace  requests a baptism of fire breathing  adornments.

There she goes- walking in sharp angles

Mistaken identity-

Anorexic nervosa Dion mustard sings-

all by myself

stop throwing up regurgitated chunks of emotion.

Men don’t understand the biochemistry  off set brewing under  three layers of endocrine.

Lunatics stain sheets with blood –

Curly sue inphallicaly  dismissed for a promotion to  children  balloon entertainer on grounds of not measuring up  to  histories greatest.

Still humming to the   blues -all I want is my equality. 

Mother Earth – in shah Allah

– poke,me ,turn me , burn me, piss on me, spread faeces-

defacate plastic attacks and call it Art.

The magic money tree   belongs in  the book of Exodus

A club house anthem – dropped by  a basket -case , sudden  short-lived career change  by MC  Moses .

Liar liar —    some morals  get the thumbs up for their choice in cider.

Live, love – consider the Joshua tree

Crush on   Dick in  vintage van’s and full  Dycke.

 supercalafragalistic expealdocious  attunes to the one man band  who sees the sultry  feline in that cat caught on the other side of the  brawl – with her weave on  AWOL

One painted fingernail cannot make  up for not   being able to  fist  with the patriarchy

How low can  this weed go?

Look around – inspiration doesn’t fall far from Gayes  grapevine .

Clarifaction?

Are we to trust all we hear via a grapevine or take it as a given that nobody up to any good will walk away unstained –

gossiping ,

Intoxicated .

Indeed feet offend  an entire  continent  predominantly ahead of the pack .

  • Stream of consciousness with a few word verifacartion  included

Head Mace

*Inspired by daily human observation* 

Citizens arrest a seizure

exploding out of her chest

Detest the demise of optimism- look aT that crumpled face

bereft.

Raging carnival trying to stay straight

‘Nature welcomes me’

Though not blinded by an attempt on her savage drinking spree.

Moments owned  in contemplation

Detest she caught a Jack Wills scent  immersed is  his idealised rave nation.

How many  t – issues to imbibe.

Called her his inbred so he could remain high

Sensational arrest

No mirror to attest to the beauty she finds.

searched google maps for Scalifax’s finest hearth.

Should she lay down to rest?

Wait for a sudden epiphany?

Her mind can’t take twocker  ignition games from kids still wet behind the ears,

straggling their momma’s rancid pyjamas

Searching for a place to settle in between her knees.

Scrumpy Jack persona

she assumes

Is she really a cut above the estate who try to convince her they have answers to all the clues?

She’s not like them.

This species are not her brethren.

English cider tasters of blood from a irrefutable provider

Knock heads against tombstones and concrete walls.

Green-eyed,Winkie  slept behind a grill gate to keep out the flybys.

Vulnerable heart -veil lifted from day one.

Chinese whispers of some busy blasted scum

Common decency leaves the palm of her hand -slaps a face hard – its body turns

enthralled at the chance to appear overly occupied.

Enjoy chillled !at 6 percent 

Bad move to guide to her to her own whereabouts

She paid for her own calm connotation.

Guideline on  how to  avoid walking  into a web of sin

Tanned face betrays  that her heart hasn’t felt  akin.

There’s nothing of substance behind the beer goggled eyes.

Monotone life

get up

get dressed,

smoke a roll up

take a sip of the brew that simulates a disguise of content.

She’s not one to say she’s any better than these numbed, train fare skivers

Fun when a teenager…..

Numbers on the  increase –

She thinks they should at least have figured out how to suit up and boot up

Yes, use your all your  ties.

Bound up in this place of besmirching death

Positive energy sniffing up the vibes

conflicted as the amish addicted to meth

Red ant crawling up her thigh

more focused than most humans she has the pleasure to relate to

One mighty jump off this stony  hearth would not be

how she would want end her life

not nigh.

Sun in her heart

Moon never far to seduce her into a twisted cadence with

legs defiantly apart.

‘The settle’ calls her home –  shrieks filled with the ego of the Saint Lies -a Spinne.

What business has she pollinating with  the  bees?

It’s her playground too.

She won’t  let the bastards inject their humdrum existence –

unleash their quiet, unpalatable disease.

Point fingers at an indecipherable colour or sound

The ku klux clan live but one gate from the smack head who sleeps with the blood hound.

Remove these walls ineffectively

Family values, Adams apple samples the hit of threes company too

Humour her, she never  preached to know every pelvic beat.

Extend a hand

Forget not

that one gaze will settle reflectively

Don’t make another feel uneasy

Solely because it’s you who feels Queasy.

Smirking at them playing it cool

Do they think she is a brassic , court  jester fool?

Indulge  them she does.

but only because she knows the truth

They live a life that’s  ambiguously impenetrable.

The difference between the simple life and herself ?

Empathy.

Compassion.

An open mind.

Sentiments branded on her – costs three lifetimes in wages to wear her kind of fashion.

Attempts at making her feel she is wrong and potentially illiterate.

It’s beyond a joke – she plays naive – she knows  they are a hoax

She treads through a land full of tossers

Pity not more of them get fired off into a land of terrorist moshers.

Feelings misgiven

This drink was an attempt at a pitch

It’s not her style.

impetigo limper

brewed up to tease pacman eating jack and jills in a ditch .

Irate she  saw integrity  in one other smothered core.

Ineffectual – yapping up intoxicated mummies three day old pyjamas.

Think it’s an accomplishment to shove her mistrials in front of her face?

How many more fuck you’s  and put up’s must to deal with?

Momma doesn’t need their  drama’s?

The issue with people who stick together in stitches

is that without an audience -without a chase

they will dangle that carrot

especially when their  life is on the down

squinting them  into the glitch.

They need her kind more than her kind needs theirs .

Empty out  the contents of a full can of scrumpy poison

One factor in blurring all boundaries.

Is it fair to intoxicate nature with man -made hootch?

She’s repulsed – she sees them all  their stark naked  form

such is her clarity

who to label as a warning ‘ there goes another douche’ ? 

ethics, medics, system of values- it’s an appeal to their humanity.

Need to get out

Get out of this space

She can see she’s playing into this heinous fate.

She makes her rules

She breaks the rules

only because she knows them so  well- lets state she knows how to present the look of

I’m off my face 

Temptation heel to her command

She regrets inaction of  strength she  usually ordains

only this time she lacks

Fuck it , she is done with the cloud of visual  mace

She’ll get hammered at a location ,

on her request,

digest

satiate

Can she have a mirror?

Third eye awaken to  the true head case.

Photocredit Francessa woodman

 

 

 

Rag of bold

Stop having a go  at me, Miss ‘

Then use your intuitive and stop asking me if it’s okay to stop and have a piss.

I’m not your momma. I’m not your carer.

Any more of this inaction and I ready to to scare yer.

I’ve had enough of your lack of ambition.

Lack of adventure — you pierce my nerves with razor precision.

Take a risk, go gungho!

Dress to impress-

I’m telling you-to get on with the show.

I’m done having to prompt  you to use your mind

Its like ,dude-honestly – I’m about to implode from frustration — storied deep inside.

I can’t think for the both of us.

Seriously,mate – I’m strong minded-had to work out my way to suss-out

life

navigate

Talk to people.

A random  stranger!

Just don’t take candy off them unless you want to end up thinking you’re a KAKKA ranger.

I’m compromising with all the patience I can muster.

Yes, I’m hard headed, strong, independent-.

Blow the dust from your inner mind —  here, take my new sublime duster.

You have all the tools. I can’t speak for you.

Have a go.

Live,

experience.

Life is for living the most Avant-Garde show.

There is nothing wrong with being different,

But, seriously…

My hearts switching to scales that don’t under stand how to stay consistent.

Have some gumption.

Seize the day!

 What is the point in  demonstrating against  the unsaintly, Theresa May?

I crave excitement, adventure, moments and endeavours.

My blood goes cold when I see you stumble-a face frayed it tethers .

I can just about carry my own daughter.

Get on with life — or sign yourself up for the slaughter.

I may seem cruel and misdirected .

Take on responsibility for your perceived  sense of a pathway defected.

I love you, I do .

Yet, you infuriate me —  these four walls are suffocating me. You should understand one word from all this “blue”.

A colour to drive terror into the minds of  men

I’m living as a woman — a choked mind from  within.

I have my own issues. I stumble on this path.

Leave your issues behind you or tell every fucker about them.

What they think is not relevant to you moving forward.

Have confidence in your own self .

I’m screaming cos  you won’t make a move.

I know playing chess can take some rudimentary  decision.

Can’t you just side hop the rules and get into the groove?

I’m not asking you to be Kylie.

Flirt with her if it makes you feel Styley Wiley.

I’m doing the best I can.

Summon up that courage-I know is inside you-

Take charge and be that man!

 

*Inspired by #peoplejustdonothing 

The unsensational one dimensionals

 The pain inside me remains the real deal

It’s  a tragedy how I  only cruise on wordpress when I have tears dripping onto the steering wheel.

The journey that promotes me to tap away is always inspired by an ill gotten day.

Deal with the past. It’s too easy to blame.

I swear, I  look forward.

Stand up for where I  go wrong and who I  maim.

Revolving doors of asylum,  inpatient wannabe beauticians.

Incredulous  that  my  own mother

bipolar, institionalised,

beaten by her lovers and suffered her own ills.

Thinks its better to throw me behind the institution with E.C.T.  waves and the  barbed wire.

Jesus had a crown of thorns – aesthetically cruel in their Romanic decisions.

It’s  a loop on a loop.

more drama –

 Every.

Week.

It’s.

Something.

 New.

No.

every week its  the same song coming out in different shade of blue.

This won’t disappear by erasing my face from your mind.

My child is my glory.

You wonder why i can’t take this lying down?

 instead I give you the flamboyant, cussation  sign

 Call the crisis team.

We live in a Theresa May ,Tory sperm infested  government.

I’m not suicidal.

I’m not drinking

I’m not overdosing

 Not taking drugs.

Merely holding myself at a metaphorical  gunpoint.

I want to protect my family from the inner Iago in me.

Deceives and twists all the good my heart seeks to see.

A mighty herculean -blinded by rage.

Numbers  are his torment – he looks to  them like riches dripped in gold.

an obssesive compulsive disorder compells him to have less –

It  must be all light  and sage.

Alone , i wake up to the sound of silence.

No daughter to say good bye to ,

 no husband plodding about drinking coffee and watching QI on rinse.

In Africa I would be welcomed for my rise in weight.

I’m not in Africa.

I’m in a mind fed on media, with distorted ideas about what to look like.

Social media , I hate.

Insight is a curse -Ignorance is bliss.

Two weeks away from my deadline.

 Post graduate, Daisy willows , in the Humanities

I  should be riding out to the ocean to collect my sun’s kiss.

I feel like I’m there for everyone- I listen  to their woes.

I jump up and celebrate every time they make a success of their lives.

 They shine so bright – I call them my ‘little twinkle toes’.

I know I shouldn’t expect,

then I wouldn’t ‘t get disappointed.

I do,

 i do…

I do..

 life.

I keep up appearances until the night terrors pull me out of my bed, torture me under veiled sight.

 Days

 filled with  infected cuts and perceptions line up disjointed.

I’m not the only one who doesn’t have a family!

So, why do you get the hump when i have no other alternative but to call up the family intervention team?

I want my daughter to grow up without these bouts of fits & confusion.

the cycle of poorly managed mental health to skip a generation .

 Enough with another  ‘daughter following  in her mother’s  steps’ delusion.

There is more to the back lash of her tounge and callous remarks than plain  old wickedness.

We are a narrative of complex emotions bound up, in a body of flesh and bones.

look beyond your eye line fall.

Seek and you  will find a person who is not transparent -less.
Sick of seeking approval from social media one dimensional folk.

Cull the people who can’t see it for what it is.

 Fakery

 it’s  beyond a joke.

Cutting down on so called friends.

re catagorise my means to justify making  ethical ends.

 People see right through you

Unless your name is printed in black and white.

The best stars shine and go about unseen,

making wishes of hope seem bright.

Her rage tips over the sides – the current for those who get credit for being generico stereotype.

It’s all hype.

they barely even look alive.

I want justice.

I want the people who make a difference

 to get credit where its due.

I’ve had enough of this  fake bakery .

Diabetic shots brings out the bad assery in me.

I’m done with pretentious folk .

Emotional  vampires who expect.

Because they think they precribe the ideal look.

Its sad, a shame.

Don’t get caught up in the superficial.

Remember, reality goes way past the fantasy of this screen.

Cos we naturally wired to be a human being.

We need to communicate

 reciprocate.

Technology has purpose – it’s not for living life in a kumbaya state.

So many lies,

people all have ties

Issues-

That keep them  reaching out for 39p tissues.

I’m here for authenticity.

Denounce those who I see,

in all their duplicity.

I can’t be good and kind to all that seek attention.

selfish,

marred

 How tragic is this situation?

Goodbye to many of you.

who will never wake from your boggled  eyed fallacy.

I don’t do this out of spite or even maliciously .

I see clearly what and who holds me back.

My sole purpose is to stay on track.

So good bye to some of  those

I’ve met on my path

Good luck with your life and everything that comes with decisions aftermath.

I aint got no more energy for you.

My people, my life needs my attention. Arrears paid up –

Well overdue.

 Mini life update 14 days  until I  hand in my End Of Module assessment for year one of my Masters. 😛

I will have a post graduate certificate in the Humanities 😛🤓🤓

I have news….

A director (not name dropping) wants me  to send him my script about the homeless couple.

I don’t think Im going to……..

Or maybe I should …..

I don’t know.

I’ve never thought  I was a good enough writer to see my work brought to life.

It”s scary to think that success is possible.

Rejection is normal, but the more I distance myself from the people in my life who made/make me feel shit about myself, and my abilities, and my sense of belonging; the more I  meet  people who see the good in me .

 I don’t want to feel like shit around people.

So, I would rather be surrounded by a small number of those who are true and think I’m cool ish 😎😉.

Let the rest of world get their claws out in their need for attention, and to be heard.

 Be humble.

Life is a blessing already

One thing is for sure. I will never work for fame. I will always work for justice and what is right.

I’m struggling, but never will I give up or give in.

This heart beats.

These eyes have fire behind them

DAISY
Xxx

 

Sensibilise

Did I miss something?

I know people talk about having the blues, the Monday blues and motherhood blues but there is a day assigned to recognize,

Blue Monday!

Who came up with the concept to celebrate a day of woe?

My thoughts: people who want to capitalize on our misery. 

Pharmaceutical companies, people trying to sell us comfort kits or whatever.

I get the whole statistic thing, that it’s the third week in January and financially big organizations and businesses are feeling –  mainly pennies no freshly printed notes.

Can, I just put out it on here -that Monday has been the best day of the week for me, out of all the Monday’s in January.

Why?

I didn’t focus on my money situation, or if people liked me or if I was anxious. What made my Monday bluesy – Jazzy – full of a spectrum of emotions:

is seeing my Grandma.

Yes, she still has Dementia, she still is bedridden, in a care home but she is not on death’s bed, not in pain and she has been taken off palliative care.

I made her laugh – more than once- just being me!

I held her hand and I  felt a bit sad, nostalgic,  thinking I should do more.

Wondered about certain people I LOVE  who I only get to experience one dimensionally.  They are not here anymore.

Monday was blue and pink and yellow and it was a Fun day – it was ONE day of my life.

It wasn’t the saddest day of my life or the happiest.

I love the color Blue. Don’t dress it up and mark as a negative.

We are capable of feeling.

Yes, feeling and responding to others.

We are capable of making connections with others because we can feel and empathize.

What a gift!

Pain, feels like Niagara falls coming down on me. I love watching it. I’m in awe of its power. I don’t like feeling it. It does transform me and is a natural part of me.

Just like being happy is, angry, comical, loud, quiet, bossy, friendly, energetic, sloth-like.

I’m not into blue Monday.

When I feel the blues I listen to the blues.

This song (when it first came out) caused people around the world to commit suicide.

I find strength in this song. People have looked at me and thought ‘she must be deranged’ to find any beauty and comfort in this song,

I do.

I don’t feel driven to kill myself when I hear it.

I feel less alone. I feel like I’m not only one who has shit days.

Smurfs aren’t sad?  or is it the magic potion they drink that gets them all bouncy and energetic?

I don’t know.

I do know people place a lot of expectations on feeling a certain way because there is a day assigned to feeling shitty.

No, thank you, my moods are not controlled by the media and whoever else comes up with these ideas.

I deal with my emotions – every moment, every hour, every second.

I don’t get to leave to my mind.

If I’m feeling alright on a Monday -no one is going to tell me I should feel differently.

Just a thought on this cloudy  Wednesday.

Looking forward to Friday – not because it’s  the weekend. I never stop working!

I’m going to meet up with friends I haven’t seen for 8 years.

 silly poem alert.   

If you feeling the woo of the blues

Take a pint of milk from the cows that cheerfully moos.

Don’t despair – feelings change with random flair

Enjoy the sunshine in your heart, don’t hold up a wall that says beware.

Life is full of ups and downs, smiles and frowns

It’s okay to feel this way. No-ones escaping life with ‘ I faked it better’ crowns.

Remember when you feeling down – you are never alone 

Support is here when we are transparent and make ourselves fully shown.

Ha ha! Lame, I know. I don’t care.

One small rant:

This has been going around the social media websites.

From NHS Director to mental health inpatient in 10 days

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CLICK HERE TO READ HER PERSONAL JOURNEY

 

I’m so happy this person has found the strength to come out and fight against stigma, with the experience of being at the top of the hierarchy in dealing with mental health, and now,  having insight into how it feels to experience severe bad mental health.

By all means, I applaud this woman.

If the title caption had been ‘from  HOSPITAL CLEANER  to mental health inpatient  in 10 days’

what is the difference?

Who is more important?

Both make a significant contribution tothe U.K. health service, do they not ?

Just saying…….

Yoo hoo ?

*Apologies in advance- the picture is my muse – credit to Francesca woodman 

Rage incensed unfurled by the scent of the unsaged.

Wisest fool, I know. Marked myself with your own hands and let your faecal swimming champion attempt to have a  go

Let you paw my naked flesh – dirty – blue rinse.

Touch me up and make me think I wanted you for sex.

I don’t give a fuck!

Get out my of my head, black-mouthed dog.

I got my hands sullen – fresh paint can’t hide your  taint revolving around my mind.

I write with these hands cos I don’t know what else to do if I sit with my thoughts – what else will I find.

Paranoid thoughts. I was doing just fine.

Soul crooners lulling me into an artificial lullaby.

Black soul – desperate to pull the remainder of my smile -on the down line.

Graphic infatuation – little girls grow up. I put my hands in the air.

My new escapism became you – there is no edge about you- indeed your toxicity is your strongest flair.

On the border screaming – furry fury cloaks me.

You took advantage, you sick fucking spatial wasted amoebic basket case.

Slap you,  disgrace you.

Shame you.

You took advantage and to hell with you.

I suffer still because I let you have me.

No regrets?  fuck that – knowing you live is the cord around my neck.

Choke me, pollute the air -in my world. it’s not fair.

No, life ain’t fair.

Break. it. down.

Trace my heart – find a pulse – wearing my heart for all to show -has led to this current plumous demise.

Despise – I’m spitting mad.

You think you got me had?

Leave my mind – cyber sex or sext with the one with the most milkshakes accumulating in her breasts.

I back away -Every.Single. Day.

My greatest doubt is you.

My biggest mistake was believing you -believing in you.

I’m bored. I’m tired. I feel like you’ve drawn out the last pint of blood from my veins.

Silence  your kind.

Judge not those who seem a reflection of myself.

Your kind is everything that drags me into the knockers pit – I know about that mine.

I know the rules now.

Not worth it. Wasted.

Not worth recycling.

If I see you again count on a different primitive play out.

You ain’t no clever clogs  – your seduction techniques consist of stirring drunken lust.

You can’t even get your playmate up – he so broke – he to lame to even cough up and say I’m bust

See my belly button?  I ain’t your mommy – there ain’t no umbilical cord,

Snap out of this maced crowdy place.

Am I losing it because of a hillbilly with a familiar face?

Contravene – isophane

Get out of my mind.

Tickets for you – you need to pay hundreds in fines.

Here’s the unpolitical correct version – may your mind be haunted and possessed by the very wrong deeds you have done with your own venomous spew.

I hate you. I hate me. I hate that I let you get to me.

Immigrant? I’d rather be that than insignificant. who are you?

Who are you?

No metamorphosis fly buttering around.

Comparisons to what I have tossed away to one side.

If I end up in a grave with a tag on my toe.

Please, family, don’t own me. Call me Jane doe.

Such is the embarrassment for the one I almost gave up breathing – you so shallow – you so low,

then I realize you want to have that effect – crazy bastard. Your mind ain’t correct.

How can  I erase your dirty fingernails and unwashed face from my skin?

How could I let you touch me – lusted after you?    You dear, are not my sin.

Lost and a wandering always flock to the same ravine.

I’m not gonna drown in here -with you the last thought on  my mind

We all a bit crazy – you crazier than your previous generation of malignant space heads.

Fuck you. Fuck this – potions brewing. I’m on my way to Haiti to instill a dose of voodoo – you hoodoo – foo do – mush brain processed tin canned – factory made – reset the defaults – you haven’t got a clue.

You think you some Who?

Have I told you lately I have some news for you?

 

 

Indebted student :D

Yes, I am still plowing my way through year one of my Masters.

Woop! Running around like a yam shouting May day May day!

That is the month, Year one will be over and done with.

Aren’t you enjoying yourself, Daisy?

I enjoy myself when I see results! Deadlines keep my pressure up and my heart racing.

My next deadline is 2nd of Feb!

I started off with what could potentially turn into a novella with a heavily dense, plotted story about a woman with DID  and an Alter ego that wants revenge on a past attack.

All super fab and exciting to research and write but I only have 2000 words I’m allowed to write give or take 10%

I was then  inspired by this quote:

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JUST KIDDING!     IT WAS ACTUALLY THIS ONE.

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I spent 12 hours drafting a whole new story about a woman trying to come to turns with an affair/ obsession/fantasy she has (in a group therapy setting). Plenty of surrealness.

Then Christmas happened – Alan Kaprow -‘ it’s a happening baby!’

Not my kind of happening, however, I will admit I enjoyed spending time with my family and friends.

There is a lot in the media – specifically social media about suicide prevention and keeping us humans safe, with telephone numbers to sign post us to organizations who may help if we are having a shitty time.

I think this is fantastic!

 It also prompted me to put story two on the back burner and delve into my current draft which is some kind of supernatural -esque piece. I feel I can plot (without unwittingly out plotting myself or my character/s)

There is a lot of internal conflicts which contrasts with the Main characters environment/ the other characters in the piece.

It’s ahem.. fucking depressing to write.

Today, I had to stop twice for a break, it was that emotionally draining to finish the second draft.

It ends in death and a resolution that is reflective, real and tragic.

This is all just my opinion, of course – ha ha!

I’m currently taking advice off of my own Mummy -dearest!

 inject the piece with humor, darling.  Be witty. You’re a hoot in real life.

 People laugh at me not with me. The people who know me really well and see the real me- sometimes do laugh me with me. 

I have got a twisted, dark sense of humor and well, let’s hope I can convey it so it translates to the reader marking it. Must work on being funnier. I can do funny in real life

 Yes, I’m still going for my first TMA to be reassessed.

OH MY WORDY  HAT!

Then, I have the constant worry of my third TMA – another 18-minute play.

I’m exploring doing a piece on a couple who decide to have a baby or try to and maybe the mother can’t make up her mind whether she wants the child or not.

Does she lose the baby?

Does she have an issue with boys?

Does she only want a girl?

What does this bloody woman want?

I’m good at putting in obstacles in the way and creating tension – I put my characters through hell.

Oh, and then we have the final piece due at the end of May.

DareI state, I’m continuing with the second part (or act if you like) of my homelessness couple piece, I started in TMA 1.

I’m swotting up on Brecht, Stanislavsky, Meyerhold, Grotowski, Artaud etc…

Here’s a question:  All these (and more) playwrights of the 19/20th century inspired and evolved theater into what we have today.

Immersive theater/street theater/ forum theatre=- the list goes on and on.

These playwrights wrote about and performed plays that reflected the historical time that they lived in.

Why if I say in my commentary that I’m inspired by certain Brechtian techniques?  does that automatically translate that  I am doing a complete copy cat Brechtian play?

Don’t many successful modern/contemporary playwrights of our time take a bit from different (even contrasting theories about theater)  at times, to make something that is relevant to what they want to see performed?

SMALL rant-  😉

Can’t I be inspired by say; Brecht and his ‘estrangement’ techniques and ‘Gestus’  (without using it to the extremes he employed his techniques in his era?

He essentially hated the overly dramatic  French and the German style  theatre in his time. He lived in one of the most insane times- the communist era, wars, exile etc..

Of course ( because I know what he was thinking -sarcasm alert), he wanted the audience or just one audience member to go home and think a bit more about what they went to watch.

Perhaps, Brecht wanted witnesses 😀  to  get the cogwheels turning with questions like

Does it have to end like this?

Did it have to end like this? (in a historical context) 

What can I do as a person who has just gone to see a play themed around social issues?

Maybe an audience member/s could come to a conclusion  (or not)  that maybe their previous ideas (if any) about social change issues comes from within.

Not a government, not other people but from me, you?

Politics are heavy going so a play/ production does need to be entertaining – it’s a tricky pair up to get right.

Sometimes, a member of the audience may (or may not)  think:

‘What I am seeing here can’t be a representation of a real person or what goes on in real life   -or can it? 

That is cool – they are in a theater watching something made up essentially, no?

I don’t know anymore. I’m up to my ears in theories and being creative and trying to stay true to myself and my reasons for writing.

I do have enough sense to think about doing a full on Brecht/Grotowski/insert playwrights name here to show I can do it.

I may struggle- it might not be amazing or great but I can bloody well do it.

My stubbornness does serve me well at times.

Right, rant over.

Tomorrow, I get a small break from thinking about fictional characters. I’m off bright and early to talk about if/how I can help my community with the skills I already have. I don’t need to be a BA graduate or a business owner or a  mother or someone studying their Masters.

I merely have to be me! Full of flaws!

I feel so passionate about this project. I don’t want to jinx it by talking about it. I can’t talk about it- It would have to go in my volunteering page- Ha ha!

Please send me your positive vibes, mantras, empowering thoughts – all of that positivity shit. I fucking love it!

I need it – it helps me – it keeps me on the right path.

So, to end this ranty and rather a profane post

I will end in my mantra ( Second year of using it and it hasn’t let me down yet)

” I am successful at whatever I do”   

I put the hard graft in too.

Thanks for reading my ranty post.

Peace, love, light and a bit of attitude embellished with hearts ❤ and fleurs.

DAISY XOXO