You can judge. I know for a fact whoever reads this hasn’t got their shit together.
Just cos it’s legal don’t make something right.
Is this about me? does it really matter?
The things that shouldn’t matter are those that can be blown away.
something I heard in another context – and thought it was a good way to start -hear what’s I have to say.
Walking into this district I sense I have become the new kid on the block.
Meant to have my shit figured out.
Fought my impulses – fight them every day.
hoovering powder snow to try and write eloquently isn’t as high as most of my goals and dreams.
I think I know best. My head is torn in distress.
you don’t think I know it’s a lose- lose sitation?
rationalising with the equivalent of a 5 year old hooked on candy.
It’s like that.
It’s just like that.
Jazz notes -lingo quotes- inspiration- I’ll meet you halfway at the bypass
one, I’ll be just fine.
Cut with the equivalent of moonshine.
Goddaughter reaches out.
We need to stage an intervention.
Parents do no good they have got no sense of next hours conception.
Sleep for days
not perfect myself in many ways.
Fighting to be the winner.
Sunshine shining – never will I dimmer.
Should know better.
This writing is juttered and stuttered.
I fought and I thought I had won.
Yeah, that’s why my face reflects the masked one dubbed
Nobody to bounce ideas off – not even another chum.
Mommy and wife represent some kind of order in a world declining into chaos.
It’s not like I even want to be famous.
Ever want to just body jump ?
Leave your entire body- not focus on the increased weight or the mind fuckery?
The thoughts circling by a roundabout – clearly missed the nearest take off.
Others can do this and have the creative gods bestow them with gifts of words in charm.
Me, I critique myself while I write these words
belittle my sense of self and um..
yeah, drugs never been my trip .
I took the long trek and.. well. I’m the Hyde to our friendly monster shrek.
The first to instigate the last to try.
What set me down this path. I ask myself why?
prolific innit, what self-medicating do.
Sarcasm in eloquence
makes for a terrible scene of ageing ninja’s battling out shapes resembling the art of Kung fu.
How I’m gonna win when I’m pissing against the wind?
How to metamorphose from caterpillar to butterfly back to some babbling brook or a slug with a mean right hook.
Straight at ya.
Let’s get back to flying,
instead of skydiving.
I know better. I’m blushing in embarrassment at how I never fail to submit to my own demise.
Loneliness get to me – it don’t mean I am alone.
I don’t know how to be with people
In the moment.
Maybe I’m a narcissist –
unconsciously claimed a stake to the faker’s throne
why do I feel so much for people at times and my heart cries out in passion with wild emotions?
Give me hugs, not drugs.
Don’t wanna get fat and live a life looking at an endless collection of hats signed in mercury -underlined with
the cut that poisoned the rat.
I hate drinking
I hate smoking.
The only thing that ever made me feel I belonged was ecstasy in motion.
Pleasure came effortlessly, I rushed up to the skyline
driving on the highways
when that song peaked
dropped its beat.
Look, I never said I was perfect- flawed in a every way.
Google says ask me anything?
How about a drug dealer that doesn’t cut his merchandise with a 1/8th of vim
The world in bleach.
not groovy with the hippy that makes the cat’s cover their ears when it screech.
I write better when my hand don’t shake, my mind don’t get the Paras .
Thinking with a heart and mind free from sin.
I’m the one with the unwanted, sunshade wearing guardian angels entourage.
bear knows me too welL.
shouted her down – giving me grief for ringing to my own bell.
Nah, I confessed. No point in lying.
I’m not ashamed to admit I fuck up, got caught up in the wrong cycle,
don’t mean I’ve gotta hang myself out, get the starch beaten out of me while I’m drying.
don’t mean I aint gonna give in and stop trying
to walk the line.
May wear a tie,
suits me does success
maybe, next time.
These eyes look into the eyes of an innocent child
I hold my head in shame – this mustard ain’t mild,
I know why I changed and that is why I am not going on an extra long spin
Even when I squint my eyes, I see my standing position is on the side of those who win
* inspired by a conversation with a random human
*only you can decide which oddities are worth keeping or eliminating some most definitely are worth keeping- the ones that make you feel alive keep- the ones that make you feel ugly and insignificant -discard*
TIP FOR A SENSE OF EMPOWERMENT:
Bonjour tristesse, I leave you without a second glance.
6hours to go until a new dawn greets me with its fiery dance.
No amount of Moons ago, could I foresaw this trip to such a bodacious planet.
Lavender dreams interrupted by the need for a bubble bath to cleanse my soul,
enrich my palate.
How it leaves me in stark clarity,
other daisies grow wildly in meadows.
2 am cleanse off- eliminate others’ unwanted worries and troubles.
Herbal tea infusions – a meet up with friends who know about life’s true haggles.
Comments intended to cut to the core.
Manage to lick-up one salty tear
begging for more.
A soul is awoken when it faces all directions.
Never blind yet always courageous to evoke dear affections.
Common goals shared by trolls made by the same finger pointing corporation
Pity those who continue to live not a decade but over half a century in miserable devastation.
Hot water filling a tub – a sauna to enlight.
You are “divorced”, a drama queen, I only wanted a shag.
It tickled your delight to dangle carrots when I was newly married
you are most certifiably unbecoming the state of inner jihad.
I’m having fun acting in a workshop.
That accent is dreadful I can sign you up for
electrocution elocution lessons.
Don’t mind me having a gas- the whole purpose of improvisation is to get involved.
Don’t use me as a pawn for fear of being put under your harsh self-imposed scrutiny.
You are ugly.
the biggest topic under dissection in a house full of self-confessed millionaires.
All those beatings, and Sangria holiday hangovers yet,
still, no permanent fix for happiness to last longer than a child’s joy at the penultimate of funfairs.
Three perfect lessons in all that is wrong not with me, but with others,
who can’t equate strength alongside vulnerability.
How can it be true that the two run side by side like rivers?
merging into one ocean of clear waters.
Confucianism arise in accountability.
No one can possess opposing characteristics!
She does not conform to why we hate her
so, now we must turn up the gas lighter
justify our vexes and vehemence to assure we are credible witnesses, to attest, this Red lettered calamity remains hidden,
In dead carcasses.
we shall honor you and remain her loyal Foe.
A few written words, at an ungodly hour.
I’ve never been one to conform to another with power.
Time is up, my bath tub is run.
Imagine it freestanding.
careless in an era where it is encouraged to be eccentrically unique. cartwheeling in a quest to not only live and work hard,
remember to have fun.
*inspired by toxic people.
Daisy, how can you just assume it’s other people who are toxic and not you?
Well, I say it takes one to know one.
I know how to be toxic, I’ve been toxic and I know how it feels to live away from toxic vibes and people. *