Always look up


‘Always look up wherever you go – those who walk with there eyes to the floor miss out on so much of life’ 



What a palaver!

I spent weeks working on trying to figure out a way to sell my products on a free WordPress template.

A lovely friend of mine suggested – Wix and e -commerce.

I was in entrepreneur, creative business utopia until I had to learn the system …

It’s been challenging. It is still a challenge but I am seeing progress and, I am getting so excited for when we finally go live.






If you have followed my previous posts on from the start of doing my MA,  you will know it has been an ocean of tidal waves and tsunamis and, high tides and low tides.

These still waters of mine run deep.

My First TMA (tutor marked assignment)   Act one of a stage script about a homeless couple received a CLEAR PASS  of 62%

There were tears, miscommunication, fall outs, despair and I lost confidence in my writing abilities.

TMA 2 ( my second genre -Fiction writing)  I wrote a supernatural piece about a girl who (accidently) commits suicide.

Lat night, my tutor emailed me to say she was having an issue submitting my marks via the online system and she didn’t want me to start worrying, so, she copy and pasted all the feedback and my mark into an email.

She gave me useful and extensive advice on what I propose to write for my EMA ( end of module assignment due in May 2017)

The second act to the homeless couple script.


I do feel more supported, understood, challenged and more confident in achieving what I want to do with my writing for this piece.

Oh, the results for my TMA 2

82%   a HIGH MERIT.

I’m back to the marks I was getting when I was doing my final year of my BA in the Art and humanities.

I need to keep this momentum going. I don’t want to find myself under merit territory again.


I invest a lot of time in people and the things and causes I dedicate my time to.



One thing I have had to put on the back burner is helping to  co-facilitate 12 weeks of WRAP (wellness recovery action plan self-management program) with the EIP   ( early intervention prevention ) team for people diagnosed with at least one episode a psychotic episode

I’m gutted. There were many issues that led me to distance myself from this.

Two being:

Issues of funding and logistics.

I enjoyed meeting up the people I was going to work with. I loved their energy and enthusiasm.

A lot was promised and then not delivered.

 I felt the need to email my colleagues and tell them what I thought about how the course was put together- I was my usual blunt self and not very diplomatic.  Ooops…

I feel that if the NHS ( national health system) in the U.K. expects results from a new therapy or a new way of self-help/lifestyle and illness management program, then scrimping on pounds is not helping promote or inspire that WRAP works.

In the long term WRAP  (run properly) will most likely save the NHS money.

As far as I’m aware- nobody knows what is going on with this current  WRAP workshop. I haven’t fallen out with anyone. I can’t give all my energy into something if everyone doesn’t  have the same vision.

For me, it needs more planning and preparation and I’m not going to be that person who just turns up to volunteer at a workshop to go –

‘Oh look at me, I’m making a difference’ – when I know, in my heart, the results this particular workshop can have on people’s lives if  it is implemented properly.

giphy (7).gif


I’m currently putting my energy into other charities I work with to see how I can help them.


I wasn’t nervous until I got to the place. I arrived early. It was bitterly cold and I hate the cold.

It turned out to be incredible.

We did a few  Actor warm up activities such as being aware of filling the space and being aware of other Actors around us.

We did some improvisation and using our body exercises to convey emotion.  Loads of fun!

What a lovely bunch of people. I am definitely going to the next session next week. We all seem to have common goals and everyone is so unique and interesting.



There is a possibility we may (or may not) put together a little something to perform to students at the university after the 8 weeks.  How awesome is that?

I do try and keep up with you all on here. It has been difficult but the more knowledge and confidence I gain in the above  areas of my life – the more time I will  get to have fun- one being reading blogs and blogging random stuff


 It was my husbands birthday on Valentine’s day. We have a sleigh bed!

hi ho!  hi ho! it’s off to bed I go – ha ha! It’s massive – king size!


After the mid-term school holidays in February, my Bella – my daughter will be joining Year one ( she is in reception at the moment)  for her reading and writing class.

She has two mates with her who are excelling just like her and she is a bit of a whizz kid at Maths.


Long story short. Pushing other people’s buttons to get an honest answer has been difficult -emotionally- to sit with – without trying to avoid the emotions by self-medicating.

I’ve been angry at myself for nearly destroying the best thing  I have in my life- my family – because, I believed ( with help) that someone cared more about me than they actually did.I put a lot of my energy into helping a person when they had a meltdown last year. It all got thrown back in my face.


I finally know the truth. That is all I ever wanted. Now, it’s time to let sleeping dogs lie.

That’s it – all very boring but it’s all happening

Physically. I’m eating better and I have more energy. I haven’t lost weight which is something that terrifies me equally as putting on weight does.





The other side of Fear.

Top of the morning to  you all!


It feels good to be able to type away with no  worrying about any trains or buses or rides to catch.

This weekend I get to catch up on reading your blogs -YAY!

I have missed you all so much. I can’t wait to throw myself into my  Masters.

I always feel  I come across so smug when I say it or type that word but I have worked my ass off to get to this point.

Proper catch up with as many of you as possible this weekend.

For those who know -I DID IT!


I am now able to officially and skillfully co -facilitate WRAP groups(  wellness recovery action plan program) to help people who have mental and physical issues or have had at one point,to  manage their lives- holistically.

It’s not a therapeutic based program. It’s truly a chance to revolutionize the way we  deal with our health in the current Diagnostic,clinical, prescriptive , doctor is always right  model we use.

erm.. I nearly didn’t do this program because I felt I wasn’t in a good place mentally or physically, however by going back to my own WRAP plan  ,

I remembered a few of my own wellness tools ( things that keep me well) . To share a few:


  • educating myself

  • putting myself out of my comfort zone ( public speaking alert/thinking on my feet/making myself vulnerable to empower others)

  •  volunteering my time to skill up and be a person who is an active part of my community and who is wanting to share my knowledge/experiences and pass information along with others.

     So, pushing myself by doing the WRAP facilitating mental health  recovery  program,  using the key concepts and ethics to show that  people who experience mental health( good and bad),  with support and  without judgement,  can find new ways of coping with life and their issues that empower and give them back the responsibility for their own mental/physical health.

    If that is what they want.

It is possible. I’ve seen it work over and over again. I work it.

It was heavy going. I was thinking on my feet a lot, not much time to prepare things ,put on the spot, practicing presenting skills, facilitating skills, listening skills.  There is so much I could put down.


I lost a lot of my self-confidence -3 months ago. On a positive note,by pushing myself and challenging myself to do this program at the next level, it has helped me find my inner confidence again, I’ve started to believe in myself again, I remember how far I have come. The future has  so much in store for me because I choose it to be that way.

I want this to be a really positive post.  I have these lyrics in my head: ‘don’t be negative (negative) just be positive (positive)’

  ha ha! How am I doing?


 Tbh. I am relieved the training is over. I can now concentrate on my next goal – my MA in creative writing. EEEK!

Then, I can start using extra hours in my Life to  help form a WRAP  community in Calderdale, U.K. ( which is where I currently live).

This is the wonderful group of individuals I had the opportunity to work with.  I have had their permission to put this pic up on my blog.


 Here is me with a bunch daisies I found in the garden .


I am going to end it on a  high.

I’m going to be  a bit selfish.

 Yesterday, we  (including the WRAP training facilitators who run the group) each  had a turn to write down our thoughts about each person we have worked with on the five-day training course, using strength-based feedback.


It’s not as cheesy as it sounds because I know I am my own worst critic and I know I am not alone in that.

This morning, I have read the comments people wrote on my name tent.  I’ve decided to reinforce these comments in my mind, by typing them into this post.

Yes, yes I am bigging myself up – no one else is going to do it.  My husband says  I need to blow my own trumpet. In his Yorkshire accent, he goes :

” Ya bloody earnt it.”  ha ha!

Here they are:

‘Tasha, you have a passion for growing and will be great helping others’

‘vulnerable but strong,empathetic,powerful,enthuisiatic,’

‘Tasha, you are an absolute star! Your openness and insight are inspiring. I feel priviliged to know you.x’

‘You are an inspiration to us all- your story is one of Strength and Hope. It has been a real pleasure working with you this week. Thank you x’

‘Tasha, your courage and Strength has been a shining light in this group.I have seen you listen, learn and grow.’

‘Tasha, you have shown strength and individuality. Keep on going’

‘Great to meet you, warm and friendly person’

‘Well done Tasha, for having the courage and Strength to complete the training course. You will be an asset to any facilliator team. Share yourself and your journey so far.’

‘You are a genuine individual. Never change x’

‘Natasha, I know you have had it hard.You are one strong, beautiful lady. Please look after yourself.x’

‘Tasha, your capacity to grow and learn means you are definitely   going too be a great facilliator. Your empathy stands out like a light’

‘Tasha, what a journey you have been on and I only know snippets. It’s clear to me you are a strong woman. I love your vibrancy and individuality.I also thought we made an awesome team x’

”Natasha, Don’t change who you are! Don’t doubt yourself ever again. You’ve shown kindess,compassion and consideration to everyone this week.I would love to stay in touch and see you again in the future.Girl done Good!. x 




Forever Grateful

It is that time again. More SHOUT OUTS  for all the new  fabulous flowers/followers who have taken a chance on Daisy in the Willows.This is my  time to express my gratitude in the best way I know.

It also is a chance to get to know your Blogs more personally. I do go and check out each and every single one of your blogs when I gather my SHOUT OUT list.


It is a great way to keep connected and keep moving forwards – speaking of moving forwards, another week has passed.  In 9 days time I will be a  married flower!


giphy (4)



Suigeneris Shaili- A Unique style. Writing words with Wit

The Tony Burgess Blog- A Homepage About All Things T-Bird, And Other Stuff Too!

Inner Ramblings Boulevard: Winding road of passions — music, spirituality, poetry, erotica and other thoughts.    

Decoding Bipolar- Awareness. Education. Support

Domestic Discipline – Jenny’s way! -Unconventional journey to unimaginable fulfillment

Ms Alheri Be Sanctified!

Out an’ About Loving Life On and Off the Tracks

Old Road Apples-A Magnificent Fountain of Gurgling Wit, Wisdom, and Intriguing Insights. Some Other Stuff, Too

That’s So Jacob- Random thoughts ‘n things from the life of jacob

3R Honest Movie Reviews -R-rated movie reviews


PLANET SIMON -A blog about life, the universe and some things that happen in it…

Back Yard of my Mind. Don’t read it!



saiyathish- attitude matters..!!


This is Lit- Book Blog

The Bookish Agenda -Read books, live forever.

BARCLAYDAVE-Just another site

marciadid-Following my bliss, my heart, my path…




Got my words army,500 calibre ! This is about my notes,my thoughts and my feelings.Its about how i see the world.My reality


Dishaitlab (Laptop Repair & Service Center) ~ Disha IT Lab provides Quality and reliable Computer/Laptop repair services in Chandigarh, Haryana, Punjab and in Himachal Pradesh. We are providing all Computer Hardware and Software service for all DELL, HP, LENOVO, ACER, IBM laptops and Desktops

Doorstep Wisdom -Wisdom delivered to you daily



yadadarcyyada-Vague meanderings of the Broke and Obscure 



I am also so happy and  grateful for more award nominations. I think I only got an award for swimming and going AWOL during my school days. Oh and graduating-eventually!

So, I always appreciate when I get nominated. It is lovely to be chosen -whether it is random or planned and more personal. It is awesome to receive recognition.

Sometimes, it is what keeps me going until I can pull myself out of whatever crap I am going through.

Blogging is my creative outlet. It is a huge coping tool that I rely on to help me with my Mental Health issues. It is a place I feel accepted and a place a I feel acknowledged for not being perfect or “normal” – whatever that means to a person.


The only other times I always feel accepted for being me, is when I get to volunteer and doing something creative and worthwhile in my community.

Oh and drinking cocktails with friends would be a close third but I can’t really drink too much these days because my health issues ,my medication  alcohol and other drugs is not a great mix.

 I value my health and my  life. Most of the time 80/20 rule, right? 😉

Speaking of cocktails I want to say THANK YOU  to Nicky- a fellow cocktail connoisseur from THE SHIMMER WITHIN HER– Find yourself. Be yourself. 


She is very pro – using creativity as a form of therapy  – high five!  My soul sister in her own words

 “Who wants to live in a world where everyone shines? ” 


I have a lot of time and respect for a Blogger and Person who also likes to see people land on their feet.



Rules for the Infinity Dreams Award:

  • Thank the blogger who nominated you and link back.

  • Post the award badge and rules (just like this -you can Google this award for an image you prefer)

  • Speak of your 7 dreams.

  • Nominate 7 other bloggers for the award (not sure if this number is supposed to be 7, 10, 0r 11)


  • I want to find a  way to  break away from my life and leave all the materialistic and fake people and things in my life – pack a bag , take my  daughter, my G, my Ma  and my Miss Tatiana and travel the world – the real world. I believe the whole world is my home.

  • I dream of a day I can truly say a  permanent and big FUCK YOU  to my thoughts on what I weigh and what I look like.

  • I dream of going back in time and re doing a lot of things just to see what could have happened. I’m curious that way. Nosy too. :D. I have really bad eyesight. I wear contacts and glasses (not at the same time obviously- done that one before-seriously trippy). I feel I missed out on a lot because of my lack of being able to see people and the world when I was growing up. I would love to know how I would have responded to people and my past if I had better eye sight ie wore glasses or contacts. 


  •   I dream of being able to have a career where I get to be creative every day and make a difference ( Sounds like Miss Universe Speech) . I want another shot at acting  and doing anything with an Arts organisation /sector because I am more confident now. 

  • I dream of my Blog and my Real world connecting in the future.

  • I dream of having more children and being okay with getting pregnant

  • I dream of continuing to follow the spiritual path I am on ( it is not religious/ God focused or hippy like). It is more about being aware of my Self. 




  1. Asta -SIMPLY ASTA Approaching Adulthood

  2. Jason @ HarsH ReaLiTy

  3. Nisha @ CleverIdiotBlog There’s a part of me I can’t get back, a little girl grew up too fast.

  4. Charlie Zero The Poet MADNESS, LUNATIC, & PSYCHOMAGIC

  5. doc2poet Poetry & Me

  6. Tikeetha @ A Thomas Point of View My high horse journalistic point of view

  7. 💞 with love, dot i/0 💞    – would love to know more about you all  🙂

Finally another massive THANK YOU  to   INSIDE MY MINDS for this:




  • Write a post showing the award

  • Give a brief story of how your blog started

  • Give two advice to new bloggers

  • Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog

  • Select 15 other blogs you want to give the award too


    1. I have always been a pen and paper girl. It just made sense to start to Blog. I should have done it years ago. I suppose if I had started years ago, I wouldn’t have all the experience and things I have to say that I do today.


I wanted to take a chance and see if it wasn’t just  my family and friends were just paying me a hugely subjective compliment on my writing or if I did indeed have something I could work with.


It feeds into every aspect of my Life. If I could paint , sing, dance, act-doing anything creative- I would do it. I need to  feel  free to speak my mind and express myself. If I don’t I tend to get myself into trouble.  


  1. Feel the fear and do it. Hit the publish button. The worst thing can happen is nothing. The best is something. True the stakes get higher the more your Blog grows. Always stay true to yourself and your thoughts. You may lose followers and friends for speaking your mind. Choose wisely. I would rather be popular to a few for being authentic than be popular to millions for being what they want me to be. 


Engage- communicate- get to know the world and the people in the Blogging community. Always remember to be polite, keep as humble as you can – there is a saying -it goes soemthing like this:

“Be nice to the people on your way to the top because you never know what the future holds and it is better to have more  friends on your way back down than loads of enemies.” -DAISY

There are too many haters in this world – be a good person who does bad things and learn from it…





  2. Poetry-Jo’s world Welcome to my world…

  3. Lisa- kidscrumbsandcrackers

  4. Sharon@ Curious Queendom- located on the closest place to the sun

  5. MILKING IT FOR MONEY Don’t Bottle It Up!

  6. Cheyenne@ Tangerine Wallpaper Feminism. Crochet. Books. Music. Sorry, Not a Porn Site

  7. Deb @ living in stigma

  8. Rob@Art by Rob Goldstein There is no common truth

  9. Confessions of Anna, Secret Poet Man in a dress…

  10. Jacqueline @a cooking pot and twistedtales Thoughts and Tales Etc..A Lifestyle Blog with a Zing.

  11. Rae@ bookmarkchronicles

  12. Inner Ramblings Boulevard: Winding road of passions — music, spirituality, poetry, erotica and other thoughts.

  13. Niki @The Richness of a Simple Life ❤ Lovin’ life one post at a time! ❤

  14. dbsthoughtsblog A girl trying to make her way in the world


Local community update – The Freedom programme

I am doing this post for my local community. Specifically, for the women in my community who every second as I type and  every word you read, are  being abused.

People get frustrated wondering why women don’t leave  or  won’t leave abusive relationships.

‘If it is so bad just leave’– is still a mind set of many.

  I have decided to waiver my anonymity and tell anyone who cares to hear my story and experience with ‘The freedom programme; because I want to reach out to those who are  affected by an abusive relationship.

I also  want raise awareness to those who  care  or know about some one  in an abusive relationship.

I want to emphasise what I gained from reaching out and doing something  that I saw as bat shit scary.

First of all,

WHAT IS THE FREEDOM PROGRAMME? Please take the time to read the blurb bit .

The Freedom Programme is a domestic violence programme which was created by Pat Craven who holds the copyright (all rights reserved) and evolved from her work with perpetrators of domestic violence. We provide information, not therapy.

The Programme was primarily designed for women as victims of domestic violence, since research shows that in the vast majority of cases of serious abuse are male on female. However, the programme, when provided as an intensive two day course, is also suitable for men, whether abusive and wishing to change their attitudes and behaviour or whether victims of domestic abuse themselves.

The Freedom Programme examines the roles played by attitudes and beliefs on the actions of abusive men and the responses of victims and survivors. The aim is to help them to make sense of and understand what has happened to them, instead of the whole experience just feeling like a horrible mess. The Freedom Programme also describes in detail how children are affected by being exposed to this kind of abuse and very importantly how their lives are improved when the abuse is removed.

CLICK HERE  to find out about the referral process.


Read more about what you will cover  HERE


This is the short version.

was in a high risk abusive relationship for four years. I became pregnant and because of the medication I was on , the state of my mental health and the relationship I was in I had an abortion. I regretted the abortion even though I still believe it was the right thing to do and I  hit the bottle hard. Me and the ex were always having bust ups – sometimes daily.

We were meant to have split up but I felt I couldn’t live without him. The only way I knew to please him was sexually so less than a month after the abortion I fell pregnant again .

I couldn’t go through another abortion. I was on a different medication that was not as toxic to a growing child in the womb and very quickly social services became involved.

The reason. I ticked all the boxes for high risk harm to  myself and to my un born child.





I couldn’t walk away from my ex, as many times as I tried. He couldn’t walk away from me. He was and most likely still is a very damaged individual.  We were told that if we wanted to keep our child  and be in a relationship together,then my ex would have to engage in another project called MAZE

The Maze Project supports people to make positive change. It works with women who are affected by Domestic Violence, their partners and their children, who are not accessing services that could make a difference to their lives.

The service has a male worker so that the service can work with couples who are choosing to remain together; the male worker works with the male partner alongside a female colleague working with the female partner.

The ex was not happy to accept this new label of his but he agreed to do it. For the following  reasons that didn’t transpire.

I will never know why he did what he did and why it seemed like if he couldn’t have me and our daughter then he would make sure I wouldn’t have her at all.

People who know my story will know that I ended up fighting social services and my ex  for 16 months to stop my 12 week (and growing) daughter from being put up for adoption.

I am not going into how lacking in resources the local authority is, but many mistakes were made. I acknowledge that people were trying to protect my child but even professionals can make mistakes.

We did not end up doing the Maze project because my daughter  was taken from me at 12 weeks old.  finally ,that bright light came on –

My daughter  became my life .

I had to jump through so many hoops. I know people reading and connecting with  this, will get what I am saying about never seeming to be able to do enough for social services.

I was told I needed to sort my shit out.

I was not given any advice on how to do this so ,I stumbled about my community grabbing onto every thing I could find to help me.

Luckily because my ex and I  were already enrolled to start the Maze programme , I explained my new single status and they offered me a 12 week placement on the Freedom programme.

I sat in the room that first  Wednesday  evening wondering what the hell I was doing here. All I saw around me was shattered fragments of human beings.


What did I know about abuse?

I listened to others experiences . It was emotional and painful.

The parts of the session that  really hit home for me  is when we  focused on working on each topic/type of abuser  identified in  the programme and its opposite..

This is when it hit me how numb and manipulated I had become by the situation I found myself in.

This is  not a programme about blame.

 It is about recognising the different  types of abusers and abuse that happens and how they  can over lap. It also taught me what a non abusive man is like because there are many men out there who are not abusers.


It is also about empowering women to educate themselves and hopefully get to a point where we question ourselves


It is hard work but once I began questioning why , things started to make sense and I was re born.

 I began to see  how  hard wired in  my brain that the idea   ‘abuse was almost normal ‘.


 because I was a  second generation survivor  in the  cycle of Domestic violence abuse. Family members being abused was  something I experienced as a part of life.

The freedom programme helped me  to decide I was going to stop the cycle,

Make  a clear break  for me – for my daughter  and for her life. I finally  had the understanding and knowledge and I would have been a fool to ignore it.

This helped me  access all other kinds of projects and community organisations that could help me with the other parts of my life had become unmanageable.

Two being: excessive drinking and over dosing.

A lot of the people accessing the Freedom programme around the U.K. have usually had  social services involved in some form.

Accessing this programme was my light house. It was showing me I had a chance of making it back to shore. I would have to navigate the logistics but there was hope and that is all I needed.

I don’t want to go on too much about my story.

It is a happy ending as many of you know.

What have I learned and gained

  • Self respect

  • respect of nd for  others

  • respect of my health and the health of others

  • independence

  • success

  • confidence

  • a sense of some kind of belonging

  •  acceptance in the community

  • a place of safety

  • friendships

  • the value of privacy

  • the responsibility that comes with being a parent

  • I don’t take shit off anyone – not just men .

  • my mental health has improved

  • I use healthier coping strategies

For any readers who think they may benefit from ‘the Freedom programme’ but can’t find a free group to go to where ever it is that  you live. You can do the programme on-line.

Here are the details 

I have done the on-line one too – to refresh my memory. There is a one off fee of £10. I have nothing to do with the monies and costings. I am merely here to give you information.

I have done both and I would always recommend doing it the group way but for whatever reasons, I  do ‘get it ‘ that it may not always be  possible.

It is better to do it than not at all.

This has turned into a longer post than I intended. That is the way it has to go sometimes.

If anyone wants to ask me any questions. I will try and answer as sincerely and in a way that I hope may help you or some one you know.

If you wish to contact me privately you may do so HERE




Exciting new radio project opportunity


Read for further  information .

  • Do  you like music?

  • Do you like chatting?

  • Interested in what goes on in a radio studio?

  • Want to lean more about technology?

  • Do you want to know how to upload audio onto a website? 

  • Do you want to create audio pieces/ play lists

  • Do you want to get creative ?

  • Do you want to try some thing new?

Casual /laid back sessions – hosted by Creative Minds and delivered by Phoenix radio. coffee and tea refreshments available and a chance to hook up and meet new people and possibly learn new skills too. 

keep up to date with all exciting projects and creative events happening in our community  at CREATIVE MINDS FACE BOOK PAGE

What is creative minds?

Creative Minds is all about the use of creative approaches and activities in healthcare; increasing self-esteem, providing a sense of purpose, developing social skills, helping community integration and improving quality of life. We develop community partnerships to not only co-fund but also co-deliver projects for local people.

Further opportunities  available to become a part of the creative minds radio project.


The workshop is on the Wednesday 8th June  1-3.30pm at the Link room, Pastoral Care, Learning & development centre, Fieldhead, Ouchthorpe Lane, Wakefield,WF1 3SP .


creative minds radio workshop flyer for Wakefield.jpg

Get Creative

Monday has  automatically become awesome when  the word creativity is put before or after the M -word.

I’m really excited to go down to my local radio station- PHOENIX RADIO and learn a bit about recording pieces of audio. I touched on this in one of my modules at college – I had to write, produce and cast a radio play. I did an adaptation of one of the scenes from the movie ‘Natural Born Killers’.

The most fun I had was putting the SFX – sound effects in.

I also got to act in another colleagues radio play. It is a place I felt quite comfortable acting.

CREATIVE MINDS – a charity I’ve yet to do anything with yet will be hosting this workshop. It will also give volunteers like myself the opportunity to get to know more about the CREATIVE MINDS PROJECT.

I know that I  thrive in creative environments so I have been looking forward to today.

I have a couple of ideas I want to thrash out and hopefully by the end of today I will have something as opposed to nothing. 


Yeah, it can be scary getting yourself out there and of course I want to be a credit to whatever I get involved in.

So to all of you who are trying new things today. Be it a

  • Job

  • Course

  • Diet change

  • new driving route

  • sport/gym

  • Moving home

  • Date

  • new holiday destination

  • new school

The list is endless.

It’s okay to feel nervous and scared. I may not come across as a nervous and scared person but I too am just a human being, I feel the nerves too. I have my own way of dealing with nerves.

I’m going to learn or expand on  my learning, give my time and possibly talk about future plans.

I’m trying not to expect too much. I think that is the key..

Being scared and anxious is normal. Meeting or working with new people can be daunting. It’s not a bad feeling to have.

In my experience when I have these feelings, especially when I am doing something different,I see these feelings as a positive . It reminds me that I care about what I am going to do and it tells me I am passionate about whatever it is I am going to do.


There is nothing wrong with wanting to be successful and to want to  have the ability to learn new skills and be credited for them.

All these skills and things we do make a great base for what we set up for ourselves in the future. We may not know what is going to happen in the future.

That is cool too.

What is important is that you never stop developing your skills and you never stop working on yourself.

You never know what it may lead to and who it might help.

Sometimes just your presence can be seen as support for whatever it is you sign up for or do.

Give yourself credit for the space you rightfully take up in your world.

A lot of the times what you do has a huge impact on helping others who are doing something new too.


The best way I can  explain this is

I’m going to this workshop today. I may or may not think I will be useless. I don’t know much about this project.

How long it has been running.

If it is a new idea or project that someone has put together to see if something creative and productive can come out of it.

Using myself as an example.

If I don’t put myself out there and engage I may never know what could happen.

I may be the only person who turns up.

I’m NOT saying this is the case in this situation but I want you to see how important you and your presence  is in the world you live in.

Don’t be afraid of creativity.


There is no way you can get creativity wrong. What is creative to one person may not be to another.

That is the beauty of it.

Have an epic day.

Try be creative in whatever you do. I am going to have a bath after gym. I may sing in the bath.

I’m being creative.

It’s that simple

Seize the day and be counted!



Today,I’m kind of moving away from my conventional idea of what my animal theme and what  an animal is supposed to be. I have been pretty much any animal you can get.

Party animal

Sick animal

Angry animal

Pregnant animal

Savage animal

Abused animal

Wild animal

you name it I have been it.

The time when I have most felt like an animal was when I couldn’t speak. Don’t get me wrong, I understood everything that was going on around me.


I knew the parlez and slang too.

I just lost my voice. I didn’t even have a new voice to replace my wo-ma-nimal voice.

I think my affinity with animals is deep because I have been thrown in cells (mainly of the  police kind) .

I’ve been shipped off to private hospitals to  be treated and be case studies with my crazy animal genes.

Those who know me -will get this.

Today. ME.

Who  am  I today?


An empowered, feminist who wears her heart on her sleeve.


Would I describe myself as an animal?

and if so why ?

The answer is yes. I am probably more in tune with more animals than people because animals are naturally sentient beings. So are humans but have you seen how in humane humans have become/

I’ve felt what it is like not to have free will -if you can get my meaning.

I’ve had my freedom taken away and now I have taken it back.


Today I’m buzzing.

I’m going ape shit crazily happy .


I didn’t think I would see this week through for various reasons.

Today, I went back to my roots.

The very  start of my journey in the vast, exciting and terrifying world of volunteering with mental health charities.

Hope charity@ Caldredale Recovery college  was where I got my first break and my first GIFT – check it  out HERE.  This was where I was shown how to  and began to believe in myself .

Finally, I began to believe that  I could go on to do things that I never even dreamed of doing.  My prize was hope and passion and drive. I met a  great bunch of people.

After doing some training and work with Hope , I had the opportunity to do a couple of  workshops centred around  stigma and mental health with the healthy minds open minds project . I have loved  being a small part of this project.

I enjoyed being a part of HEALTHY MINDS RADIO SHOW

I have found our how  committed I can be.

Recently, I have  been on several  challenging training sessions, geared at  getting me to think  “out side the box “and gain more perspective and insight into facilitating peer led support groups with healthy minds.

It’s not an easy role.

In fact it is one of the most difficult roles.

I’m currently  waiting to go through my personal development file to see which direction I will go with Healthy minds.  A well established and awesome charity.

Today ,I got to do more training with Hope charity, it was lovely to be around old friends. It was great to see how we had all grown and where we were up to.  It was like coming home from an adventure.


I am so lame and I don’t care.  I am going to share this with you because I have fucking earned it

TAH-DAH. I am officially on board with the NHS (National health service in the U.K.) volunteer books.

This is my  equivalent to a  VIP pass to a Celeb after party or  the promo badge all areas access to  a worldwide indie movie festival. This is what this feels to me.  A  small example of a measurement of commitment and effort..


  Some people may go so what?

I go what?!

Here is a bit of insight into what this means to me.

I came from South Africa  to the U.K.when I was 18 years old.  Worked and lived in France, Barcelona  and Miami for a bit and then established myself in the U.K. permanently when I was 21/22 years old.

I worked and had a rewarding job in the travel and tourism industry.

I hit all my targets.

I got sent on training events.

As I began to grow into my role, I was  sent to conferences in places like Bulgaria, to establish connections and represent the  brand  of Travel care, (  a part of the defunct  co-operative travel group- now owned by Thomas Cook)

…….and then I got ill.

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I’ve been fighting my illness for over a decade to get back to some level  of the success I experienced in my Travel career. It has been the longest drop down the rabbit hole and the climb up has been

dirty. ,



and pretty fucking  messy.


I’ve studied  my ass off- I didn’t think anything else could top  getting my BA degree,

  • apart from having my Bella B

  •  me weeks away from getting married

  • being mega successful in a career

  •  travelling – of course.

  • Oh, and having my child taken out of foster care and placed in my full time care again without the local authorities in my life.

It has taken me  just over a decade to get to the place where I feel like I belong. I feel worthy again

 I feel like  I am back in my natural habitat.



I’ve worked hard to get to this point. And I am damn proud of myself. Somebody has to be.

I could have done a post on another type of animal . But in all honesty I have  got to type down what is in my heart.

The queen of my mind is also the queen of my  heart. I know so. I live in my mind and body.

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So today. I’m having a huge party in my head. I’m sharing it ` with the entire blogo-sphere that I have something  tangible that symbolises what my worth means to me again.

I will not lose my worth again.

So that is it.

I’m amped for another exciting project that I have heard about and will definitely  be going to it next week. I don’t want to say too much. I don’t want to jinx anything. My creative side has  been stirred and shaken  and I have ideas.

I also get  the opportunity to bounce ideas off other like minded people.

So I am not not going to miss any possible  opportunities to live and be awesome and help others find a sense of worth and see their own awesomeness .

 I always thought I would be the animal who would never be able to live in the wild again. I would need to be kept in a reserve of some kind.


A Daisy may be a weed – but  it still breathes. It is an earthling. – you, me, animals,fish , spiders birds,plants and trees -all need oxygyn to survive.

While my heart still pumps blood and  oxygen  around my body and into my lungs. I aint going to give up.


I know I am bigging myself up.

Can I talk the talk? Type the type?

Well -obviously…


Can I walk the walk?

Watch this space.

I have another shot at life and I am living it.

The ultimate challenge on earth. Thanks to all those who read my posts xxx

you are all fucking amazing, supportive and read my shit and then like it.

Happy weekend..

Some one  mentioned   a meet and greet when you grow up at THE SIMPLE LIFE this weekend.

I will be bringing the party spirit.