I’ve been a bit of a mess – mood wise – this last month. I know I am the only person who can change this.
So time to move forward and look to the future.
THANK YOU Morgan @ UNIQUELOVEHARMONEY for this awesome tag. I love your heart and spirit. You write straight from the heart and you are just a wonderful spirit I have connected with in the Word Press community. I have been saving it for a day like today. When I need to give myself a kick up the back side.
SIMPLE HAPPY RULES
1. Name 5 things that make you happy
2. Name 5 songs that make you happy
3. Nominate 5 bloggers to continue the tag
DAISY IS HAPPY BECAUSE:
I’m co producing and co facilitating my first Depression and Anxiety workshop for Parents, in Boothtown, U.K. , with Healthy Minds tomorrow 27/06. I did most of the ground work before the wedding and I can’t wait to hook up and finalise details and then roll on Wednesday and BOOM! We get to do something creative and hopefully helpful.
I have officially been given the go ahead to do the 5 day 9-5 pm WRAP Facilitator training in Mirfield , in September with Hope charity. I have done this 12 week WRAP course myself and I now get a chance to turn other people onto the power of WRAP- CHECK OUT WHAT WE DID .I am beyond excited!
WRAP PROMO VIDEO
I still have motivation to keep fit and do exercise. I had a really good one hour session this morning and my mood has lifted a little bit more.
I’m moving to France in the next two years. A new start. I a proud to be a part of the EU. I spent two days crying after the result. I am a humanist. I hate manipulation of the working class people and then them being told that they exercised their democratic right to vote. I love the French public because they give their government hell. The public demand to have their voices heard and I want to live in a place where my voice is truly heard and actioned
Finally I am married. I have a few more pictures from the day that just makes me smile every time I look at them. The people who were there made it even more epic!
Here’s what is getting me to smile:
FIVE SONGS THAT MAKE DAISY HAPPY
THE SONG I DEDICATED TO MY GAZ AND OUR FIRST AND ONLY WEDDING DANCE
EMPOWERING AND GODDAMN BOLD!
MY FUCK EVERYTHING SONG
JUST A GREAT TUNE
LOVE SNOOP – YEAH, IT’S SEXIST BUT I HAVE GOT A SENSE OF HUMOUR. – I’M A SUCKER FOR A DUDE WHO CAN MAKE ME LAUGH … SHOOT ME!
I could go on all day with music….
Oh okay – One more
5 BLOGS THAT NEVER FAIL TO MAKE ME SMILE – TAG YOU ARE IT!
- QUEEN BEE – I SING THE BODY ELECTRIC– a great friend
- SIMPLY ETTA D.– someone who motivates me
- LINDA G. HILL -Always inspires me to write
- CHARLIE ZERO – The sickest poet I know. The biggest heart too x
- Send Sunshine -Again she never fails to lift my spirits
- EVERYONE ELSE I FOLLOW AND AM YET TO!
It’s all happening, folks -49 days until I leave my single status behind.
I’m kind of sad. I have a valid reason.
I’ve had my name for 34 years and my wild reputation precedes me and all that – Ha ha.
Lots of haters (and lovers) made over the years..
All the crazy shit I did. I own up to it. I don’t want to people to forget what a punk I can be!
Ha ha. just got to shrug these things off.
Seriously, I am in two minds about changing my name. First off ,I only just got my French passport renewed in London last year.
My daughter has my name and well…. things didn’t end up – peachy with the ex.
All I want is for my Bella Bee not to feel like the odd one out. I won’t take my G’s name if I can’t have Bella’s changed.
G has offered to take mine. I’m like
“are you sure you can handle all the haters?”
“The crazy labels?”
This is no Haute couture designer label brand I am talking about.
He is going to get stuck with the wild , reckless, push the boundary,break the law, Anorexic, psycho , bipolar, druggie, binge drinker (who tells the birds to shut the fuck up at 4 am in the morning). The bastard child. The female version of John Snow.
Yeah he will get stuck with that baggage.
I think he likes the idea of looking at the shiny colourful suitcase, as it goes around and around and around the carousal.
I don’t think he realises he has to pick up the luggage and take it home with him!
Oh what have I done to him?
Back to the bastard child..
Ha! I’m sure somewhere deep down my Dad loves me. People say he is not much of a communicator . I must be his worst enemy.
I communicate all the time!
I’m always hounding him.
“Dad look check this out . I can jump through hoops -they is high too “
“Hey Dad did you see what I can do with my ears –wiggle wiggle “
“Dad hey ? read thisarticle. Let’s get this relationship on the go . I don’t want to not know you and have you die on me, cos that would suck”
COME ON ALL YOU -PASS -JUST PASS. I ‘VE GOT TIME TO KILL.
Yeah, people say he is a quiet one. He hasn’t done anything to make me think any different. 😀
So with my Dad – living all the way in Africa- he won’t be walking me down the aisle.
My Ma will.
We have different surnames so I do know the insecurity and feelings of displacement that comes with not having the same name as my own mother.
I’ve only just recovered from the trauma.
I’m probably going to have at least half another child . If I can bear the thought of getting
fat pregnant again.
My Bella B needs some one closer to her age. I don’t want her to end up like me!
She may look like me but she is nothing like me.
Her personality is so cool.
She is frikking hilarious, beautiful, ,charming.
Everyone loves her.
Today she was went to go and play with some kid at school and the kid said
“I don’t wanna play with you”
My B – completely dead pan in the face:
anti social kid,
” Cos I don’t wanna”
B shrugs her shoulders and skips over to the next person. Totally unfazed.
She is awesome.
She went through a ‘Everything is about Cinderella’ moment not so long back.
One night after I had read the story for 1000000000000000000000000 th time she looked at me with those baby blues and said
“I love your Mommy. I love you with all my heart.” My heart swelled..
“Aaaw I love you with all my heart too baby,” – I replied.
Then she says,
“Mommy, I don’t want my heart to break- ever” that was it . I had got the haagen daz ice cream and two spoons out, tears streaming down my face, ready to let her cry over the heart break that may never come.
Where did she learn about hearts breaking ? She is not even 5 years old!
Yeah ,so the wedding dress fit went well.
I just fit into it. I want it taking out. I’ve had the dress since 2014.
I’ve worked my butt off to keep the weight off.
tired sick to death of daily exercise sessions. I want to do other things.
I don’t want to diet.
Finally found the perfect head piece 😀
My mommy should become a wedding planner. You will understand after the wedding. When I put a few pics up. Trust me on this.
I’m having my 3rd make up trial . I loved the whole feline look but I think it needs to be a bit more understated.
Seems like there are quite a few coming to the hen do. YAY! I am loved .:)
There is a great mixture of personalities and well I can’t wait.
I kind of accidentally bought myself two new pairs of jeans and a pair of shoes today.
IT IS ALL TRUE! 😀
Don’t know how it happened.
One minute I’ve got my bus fare ready to get home and the next I am in a clothing boutique (not a wedding themed one) for the first time in like over 4 years.
So now I have an hen do outfit.
Silver linings and all that.
I’m sure there was some discount on certain items – up to 30% off on some items of clothing which was a bargain
– for the lady in front of me
-and the one behind me 😀
I’m blaming it on the sun. Sunshine has hit the U.K. and brought in the feverish heat with it.
I’m hormonal , the sun is out.
The receipt accidentally flew out my hand – it was that little breeze that did it when I made the left turn, passed the fish shop.
Did you know that we now can have the option to have our receipts emailed to us?
How fucking thoughtful. (heavily laced sarcasm here)
I’m busy researching for our personal vows. We have less than a month to sort out the ceremony bit.
It is looking like there is a good chance my Gran with Vascular Dementia will be able to make the ceremony with her carer. We are going to bling up her wheelchair.
I don’t care if she shouts out and is who she is today. I just want her there.
so it is ALL happening ….
I’m just sat looking at that last half finished sentence nodding. letting it sink in……..
“All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much.” George Harrison
WHY I HAVE CHOSEN THIS QUOTE
To be my natural 1oo% transparent self. I do promise too much. I demand too much of myself. I get bummed out if I don’t do everything I set out in my head to achieve for the day. . #FollowGreatFootsteps
Take yesterday as a fine example,
I’m up at 5 a.m. going through my emails , comments, start finding inspiration for the blog/s I want to write for the day. My hubby makes me a coffee every morning. I think he has a similar condition to people who have been kidknapped by weirdos annd develop Stockholm syndrome, except in our house it is called
He is a bit of a super star when it comes to little small gestures. My Bella Bee and and other non human child usually come bounding into my bed at about 6-7 am.
Cuddle time and I have to listen to the diatribe of events that occurred in my daughters dream. Along with say the 5 or 6 other things that come out of her mouth which can seem like such a perfect and nonsensical thing at the same time.
She is the, Martin Luther King , of her generation
” I have a dream……..”
I usually then do any challenges or whatever blogs I need to. I then get ready for a good blog catch up.
I’ve realised that saying yes to everything means I’m fucking knackered when I get home. I love volunteering. I had a blast at the training yesterday. It was intense( 10- 4 pm. )
We did a lot of practising how to facilitate in a support group group. I never realised how hard it is to hold the space, let the group lead and support each other, speak as little as possible , make sure the support group sticks to boundaries and their ground rules, time keeping and choosing what to disclose about myself.
We did a lot of ‘what you would do if? ‘ scenarios- where we were timed 30 seconds to come up with an answer.
My head was blagged and ready to implode by 3: 30 pm.
On the way home. Thoughts of going to put the heating on and put my feet up, eat and chill enter my mind. It’s cloudy, raining and cold….. I’m going home to chill…
erm, we are talking about me -Daisy.
I have a massive gym session to do.
There is no time to pause.
I’m at it like a boss.
Throwing my punches and my best kick boxing moves to the imaginary prick/opponent I am uppper ‘hooking’and jabbing and crushing with my awesome knee jump -like a ninjaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
I wish it were this easy
These imaginary opponents can take on a human form or an animated form of
oh let me think now….
So hard core session is complete.
Steam is eking out of my pores.
I have a moment of panic that I might be one of those rare individuals you read about,in some obscure magazine,, who just spontaneously combust into flames.
I can see the headline:
‘Girl works out – with epic awesomeness and bursts into flames and then she arises from the ashes like a phoenix bird because she is awesome like that’
I decide that I’m being overly dramatic and then smell myself and think a quiet bath with a face mask and a hair mask will be the Dogs bollocks- the best way to treat myself.
Erm……………………… I have a four year old who wants me to play princess Jasmine, Elsa, Raja and whoever else she can think of -all at the same time . Remember
- … AND THAT IS WHY I AM SENDING MY LITTLE BELLA BEE TO AN ASYLUM BEFORE SHE DRIVE ME CRAZY TOO.
Ooh and don’t forget she wants to help clean me.
Aaaaah how sweet.
More like, please piss off and give me time to myself. 😀 .
The last of the bath water remnants swill down the plug hole and I look down at my hands –
shiiiiiiiiiiiiit , my nails are in a state .
I’m also thinking the blue colour totally out- rocks the orange I have on them.
I then have to simultaneously dry hair an nails at the same time.
To say I’m slightly talented is well a bit modest 😉 Ha ha!
- WHAT CAN I SAY 😉
Ooooh. Tummy starts growling.
FOOD. – THE MISSION BECOMES DAISY GET FOOD NOW OR I WILL TURN ON YOU AND EAT YOUR BODY ORGANS.
I’ve got way too much living and things to do for that to happen.
Get sat down in bed and I think of all the promises I made to catch up with y’all.
Before I can get any kind of decision made in my head.
It’s story time and it is not my turn to read 😦 very sad face- because Bella Bee’s reading can take what seems a very long time.
I then get all sparked up with my laptop fired up, I’m under the duvets ready to enter the blogospheare. Cue – Epic music.
I must say these clean sheets are mighty comfy – only 7 pm .If I just close my eyes for a sec….
“Daisy wake up ,take your meds and brush your teeth it is half ten ”
Yes my other half does say this to me.
My mind is scrambled. I have a bloody bloggging z-z challenge to do and I have to read over 200 posts of the people I follow.
No I am not going to cheat myself and just like them.
I am going to read every. single. one. Comment on every single one.
Two a.m. and I finally can hit the pillow almost guilt free:
I didn’t do my blog challenge
or my gratitude surprise challenge for my readers and peer followers
useless, take yourself out with the trash incompetent being.
My thoughts are retired drill instructors. they paid a membership to lease out my mind and now that won’t fuck off -pardon my sewerage mouth talk.
It is now 5:50 am and I am going to edit and polish off this post and hit the publish button -blast it into the blogoshphere.
Today I can imagine the set up being similar.
I will not give up.
Can I just say coffee is a truly my best friend. None of the crap shit.
I mean proper coffee made from some little village in Columbia with it’s fair trade stamp on.
So, I’m a greedy Bee with an itch ( bitch) . I want big slices of the cake. Hell, I want all the cake.
Sharing is something my four year old daughter has to do. This does not apply to me. I am an adult.
Okay, luckily my days are not always so full on – my mental health is important and it should be for everyone.
This is not a long term solution to living for me. I have committed myself to various projects and (coughs) a wedding and all that. Nothing major….
Look just take care of yourselves, please. We all live busy lives and have our shit to deal with but be kind to yourself. 🙂
Happy mid week!
Want to be a part #FollowGreatFootsteps? You can do it! I will review your blog -check out the link above. It”s easy peasy.